Clint Eastwood

Happy Birthday to

Clint Eastwood

79 today

The multi-hypenate Eastwood passes another birthday and still doesn't seem to be slowing down at all. His 2009 film, possibly titled The Human Factor, will focus on Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) and his efforts to unite South Africa following his election. It's hard to imagine that it won't be a successful film, even if I doubt Eastwood will fully convey the post-apartheid mindset or make good rugby. Of course, I'll still be there on opening night.

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Film News (30/05/09)

We have had slow news weeks before but this one really takes the biscuit. And although it looks like Stephen Daldry's The Hellfire Club and the Mad Max 4 movie are one step closer to being made on IMBD, they shall be ignored as there has been no press release or anything.

Wichita



After months of speculation from Tom Cruise and James Mangold about what their collective next films would be it seems they have decided to work with each other on the spy romance, Wichita. Also starring Cameron Diaz, Cruise will play an international spy who keps bumping into Diaz (presumably on his weekends off).

Whether this means we won't be seeing Juliet, The Materese Circle or Mangold's life assurance drama remains to be seen, although it would be shame if all these projects were shelved, or postponed indefinitely.





And really that was all the news I had.

Box Office News

Release Date News

Frozen River - Minor change in the release date for Melissa Leo's oscar nommed role smuggling illegal immigrants into the US. Back a week to 17 July 2009 when it will open opposite

Crossing Over - which is another tale about illegal immigration, although this time it's more in the Crash/Traffic mode of multi storylines which all converge. Ray Liotta and Harrison Ford will be sleazy and stoic respectively on 17 July.

The Soloist - it's had a middling review and box office success Stateside, so they've shifted Joe Wright's true life story of schizophrenic cellist (Jami Foxx). Now out on 25 September 2009.

Where the Wild Things Are - Last month I was really excited because the release date for this children's classic adaptation had moved forward, so naturally it's bounced back to the original date of 11 December 2009.

Dear John - Are you fed up of watching films that might be good? Well worry no more. Lasse Hallstrom directs, from a novel by Nicolas Sparks, and starring Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum. Expect some serious attempts to pull your heartstrings on 5 February 2010.

Alice in Wonderland - Tim Burton's all star retelling of Lewis Carroll's nonsense novel shifts a week, just to confuse us. I'm surprise it won't be opening on a Tuesday and only playing backwards. See it on 12 March 2010.

Finally I won't be reporting a release date for the fascinating typtrich Tokyo!, even though it's done reasonably well in the US ($341k so far) and been massive in France ($513k), as it opened directly to DVD this week. If I get a chance to see it I'll let you all know what I think.

Box Office Report

The UK box office continues to be as predictable as ever (on animation, one Zac Efron, a Rom-Com and 2 big effects/testosterone heavy hits - although no puppies in April were good enough), including the fact that I correctly identified the top film for April, although perhaps even more predicatable I haven't actually seen any of the films in the top 5. By the way, Wolverine is a tough one to put in, as it opened on the Wednesday 29 April or the weekend starting of 1 May. I have included it here as I'd rather it ame second than potentially beating Star Trek during next months face off (sneaky, eh?).

1. Monsters vs. Aliens
2. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
3. Fast & Furious
4. 17 Again
5. The Boat that Rocked

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Michael J Pollard

Happy Birthday to

Michael J. Pollard

70 today

Best known for ratting on Bonnie and Clyde as C.W. Moss in the the 1967 film, the most interesting thing I can find about Pollard is his middle initial was just made up and doesn't stand for anything.

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Lifelong Yearning

We've opened!

The premier performance of Lifelong Yearning was a tremendous success. The audience were rolling in the aisles, and joined in at the appropriate bits (one woman nearly pounced on the stage when I asked her out!). Right now I'm at that half way great high for doing a show(well) vs. incredible tired feeling, so I'll just be doing this post then off to bed.



What made it especially good news was that we very nearly sold out, and with the good word of mouth I'm expecting there should be pretty full houses here in the Midlands part of the run.

All this is a way of saying: get your tickets now. And here's how you can get them:

Tour venues and dates:

Kidderminster Rose
Chester Road North
Kidderminster
DY10 2RX
Friday 29th & Saturday 30th May, 7:30pm
box: 01562 743 745

Highbury Theatre
Sheffield Rd
Sutton Coldfield
B73 5HD
Friday 5th & Saturday 6th June 7:30pm
box: 0121 373 2761

Oldbury Rep Theatre
3 Spring Walk
Oldbury
B69 4SP
Friday 19th & Saturday 20th June, 7:30pm
box: 0121 552 2761

Barons Court Theatre,
Curtain's Up Pub
28a Comeragh Road
London
W14 9HR
Tuesday 23rd - Sunday 28th June 7:45pm, and a Saturday matinee at 2:30pm
Box: 020 8932 4747

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Out this week (29/05/09)

Box Office wise it could be any one of 4 films taking the top spot this week, including the Jonas Brothers tour video (not previewed), and it'ss be interesting to see how Drag me to Hell, Obsessed and 12 Rounds perform. For me though there can only be one winner - Sam Raimi wants my soul in hell and I'm not going to disappoint. (Obviously I'd rather recommend Lifelong Yearning, but I'm not sure that would be in the spirit of this column.)



Drag me to Hell

Sam Raimi returns to his horror comedy roots with this tale of a loan officer cursed to be "dragged to hell". The buzz from Cannes and early reviews suggest it walks the fine line between the genres very well. Expect gags and gag reflexes galore.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○



Fermat's Room

French horror film, about a group of mathematicians invited to solve a difficult mathmatical puzzle. When they arrive, and are put into a small room to solve it, the walls start closing in and they can only be stopped through mathematical calculations. Now, I did a degree in Maths, and most of my lecturers wouldn't have gone to the next floor to solve a problem so I'm not sure about the realism, but kudos for the idea.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Fireflies in the Garden

I'm incredibly curious about this ensemble pic from Sophomore director Dennis Lee, based on Robert Frost's poem. Not least because of the tremendous sounding cast (Julia Roberts, Willem Dafoe, Emily Watson, Ryan Reynolds, Carrie-Anne Moss, Ioan Gruffudd, Hayden Panettiere!), however it looks like distributer The Works UK have really fluffed it.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○


Fugitive Pieces

Greek/Canadian co-production (with sections in Yiddish and German) about a young Jewish boy running from the Nazis and being adopted by a Greek fisherman. Not sure if it brings anything new to our understanding of the period.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Obsessed

Beyonce's Fatal Attraction for the 90's film has done well with her fan base in the US, taking over $66m in receipts, doubt it will repeat that success over here, but it's an odd week for releases so you never know. Personally I'd much rather see it if the former Destiny's Child star was reprising the Glenn Close role and not the Anne Archer one.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○


12 Rounds

WWE star John Cena climbs buildings, jumps from helicopters and generally kicks ass in order to save his wife from a vengence seeking terrorists. There's a market for this sort of thing.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

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Carroll Baker

Happy Birthday to

Carroll Baker

78 today

Carroll was certainly beautiful in her youth, and very talented as she proved in Baby Doll. However looks and talents aren't necessarily enough and after a few good westerns and a few bad marriages her star power waned.

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There Will Be Blood

2007. Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson. Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano, Ciarán Hinds, Kevin J O'Connor and Dillon Freasier ●●●●●



With no sign of Everlasting Moments at cinemas in Birmingham I randomly chose PT Anderson's There Will Be Blood to review. It seems incredibly now, just 18 months later, that this film and No Country for Old Men became locked in a titanic battle for the 2007 Best Picture Oscar. In the end the Coen film took the prize, but in my opinion, the better film missed out.



The film, very loosely based on Upton Sinclair's Oil, concerns the decay of the soul of Daniel Plainview (Day-Lewis), an oilman whose avarice overtakes all his other thoughts. The story follows him from mining silver alone to ending his life alone and bitter in his mansion via the adoption of a son of a deceased worker and a major struggle with a small church and it's charismatic preacher (Dano).

Of course a film which revolves around a single character requires a solid performance, which Day-Lewis delivers in spades. It's absolutely electrifying, you just can't keep your eyes off him. Every line is said with such vigour and certainty it's as if it's a documentary. Towards the end there is a tendency to waver on the line of cartoonish caricature, but thankfully Day-Lewis never crosses it.

Dano is effective as the young man of God, especially in the two key scenes he shares with Day-Lewis (the baptism and the bowling alley), but in his quieter moments he looks a little lost (the blessing of the new mine). Dillon Freasier and Russell Harvard both do fine work as the yound and adult versions of H.W. Plainview, Daniel's adopted son, I hope to see both of them build on these performances in the future, although there's nothing so far.

The cinematography by Robert Elswitt is excellent, the way natural light plays across the characters in different ways, the sun streaming through the church windows, the framing of the oilmen is beautiful and often moving. I was also struck by the movement of the camera, Anderson and Elswitt almost never let it be still, especially in the mid-shots when it often pans forward and back moving you towards or away from the action. It's a technique that often goes with the multi-character films Anderson made his name with but here it's equally effective.

Finally the score is beautiful, Johnny Greenwood's (adiohead) original pieces are compelling and the use of Brahms is overpowering.

This film is a masterpiece, if you haven't already seen it I urge you to rectify that as soon as possible.

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Louis Gossett Jr.

Happy Birthday to

Louis Gossett Jr.

73 today

Best remembered for his turn as Richard Gere's Gunnery Sergeant in An Officer and a Gentleman, Gossett jr. has been showing his talents on the big and small screens for 50 years. There's a lot of dreck lined up, however I am looking forward to his ensemble part in 4Chosen, the dramatisation of the 1998 shooting of four black basketball players in North Carolina, and the subsequent legal battle for justice. Gossett is also producing.

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Trailers - Transformers

I've been resolutely avoiding puitting up trailers over the last few weeks as there is only one film in June I am looking forward to seeing (Sugar), however I will make the obligatory nod to the box office championship.

There are a cuple of big releases coming out in June; Terminator: Salvation, Year One and My Sister's Keeper should all get different crowds in, but without a doubt leading the pack will be Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. This is why:



Tranformers comes out on 19 June.

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Personal News (24/05/09)

Hi there, welsome to another brief excerpt from my real world where I try to flog you tickets to see a show with me actually in it.



That's right. The rehearsals are nearly over now and the curtain will go up for Lifelong Yearning on Friday, less than a week to go. It's been a fraught week of rehearsals, as the props, set and costumes have all gone through the final checks (my first two shirts have been rejected, why oh why do I like stripes), and we've now run the play in it's entirity without stops. I know that doesn't sound like much but it's hell of a milestone in the rehearsal process.

Excepting some technical issues that still need ironing out, like when to put the kettle on and how much gin is needed, we're pretty much ready to go.

Once again I'd like to invite you all to our opening performance in Kidderminster on Friday night, tickets are selling well but there are still a few left over if you call the box office on 01562 743745.

For those of you unable to make it I will be blogging after the first night with a brief description of how I feel, for those who can come and say hi in the bar. Go on.

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Ian McKellen

Happy Birthday to

Ian McKellen

70 today

Sir Ian reaches an important milestone today, the 70th birthday is usually a clue for slowing down in an actors life, and sure enough there's only stage work and The Hobbit on the horion. Of course the stage is harder than film and the Hobbit will be massive so maybe he's not slowing down at all.

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Jim Broadbent

Happy Birthday to

Jim Broadbent

60 today

The hilarious and versatile thesp Jim Broadbent is hitting a major milestone this year, just in time for him to reach a whole new set of fans with the next Harry Potter film. Personally I'm more stoked about his involvement in Mike Leigh's next project, due out next year.

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Film News (23/05/09)

This week all the movers and shakers are at Cannes, hobnobbing with Brad and Angie on the Croisette, so naturally there has been little news of substance anywhere else. Not that's there's even been much going on over there: Tetro, Bright Star, Taking Woodstock, Inglorious Basterds and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnanssus have all been seen and reviewed and most will now be largely shrugged off and forgotten in the long term. Only von Trier's Antichrist has managed to hold the headlines for more than one day, although seriously is anyone surprised at that. Here are some tiny stories that have come out over the week.

Weekend



This is very much a rumour at this point, but it seems that Sharon Stone fans are hotly anticipating that her next film will be a Quentin Tarantino collaboration. Maybe she's expecting a career revival (although by now you'd think someone would have noticed that he doesn't actually do those, ask Robert Forster if you don't believe me). Also signing on to the plotless project are Dennis Hopper, Jessica Biel and Kill Bill alumni Lucy Liu and Michael Madsen. Of course this might explain why Stone was looking so hot at the Inglorious Basterds premiere.



After the Wedding

Susanne Bier is clearly happy with the dailies for Jim Sheridan's remake of Brothers as she has now let Hollywood studies get their hands on another film from her back catalogue: After the Wedding. The plot surrouds a charity working coming back from India to obtain extra funding only to find an invite to a Wedding has profound implications to his future. Sounds intriguing (I've not seen the original) and with Tom Wilkinson heading the cast it could be one to watch.

Catalonia

George Orwell has an interesting non-relationship with film. His most commonly known narrative novels (Animal Farm and 1984) are virtually unfilmable, the first concerning animals taking over a farm and rejection of the Stalinist corruption of Communism and the second being a study of what freedom means in a dystopian future. But ignoring that there are moves afoot to make a film from his Spanish Civil war diaries, whether they will stick to the structure of the journalistic essays on life in the seperatist groups, the realities of trench warfare and his changing political views. Colin Firth and Kevin Spacey have signed up.



Thor

I should tell you some people I haven't heard of have joined the Thor cast, but frankly I can't remember their names.

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Barbara Barrie

Happy Birthday to

Barbara Barrie

78 today

Not sure why I'm celebrating for Barbara, can't say I know here work. Although I certainly be seeking out her episode of Pushing Daisies (pictures). Maybe it's just because I haven't done a birthday in nearly a week.

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Out this week (22/05/09)

Lots of films in the mix for this weeks top spot, but the winner is going to be chosen on geographic ease of seeing the film. As you know I've been looking forward to Everlasting moments for some time, but the closest screen this weekend is in Nottingham, 65 miles away. Another films that could have been a top choice, Mark of an Angel is also no closer than 65 miles - if you're in Nottingham go to the Broadway Cinema, it seems to get all the foreign arthouse fare. So with these out I'm going to recommend Brit horror Tormented, if only because it premiered here in Birmingham last night.



Awaydays

Semi autobiographical adaptation about a boy growing up in Liverpool and getting in with a gang of knife-wielding thugs and punk fans. Reviews hint at homoerotic subtext so that might be a reason to see this.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○



Everlasting Moments

The Swedish entry at last years foreign oscar submissions, was highly praised but missed out on a nod. Follows an abused wife as she escapes her life through photography.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

A Girl Cut in Two

Claude Chabrol directs Ludivine Sagnier as she chooses between her two wildly differnet lovers. Ignore the cliches you'd expect from this sort of story, Chabrol has the class to overcome the pedigree.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Mark of an Angel

French drama about a mother who becomes convinced the daughter she lost soon after being born has been brought up by another family. Harrowing and unsettling.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Nandhalala

The sort of plot that would either wins awards or total derision surfaces in this Bollywood drama. A young boy and a man with mild learnign difficulties go on a road trip.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Night at the Museum 2

Ben Stiller is back as the night security guard presiding over exhibits that return to life, supported by Robin Williams and Amy Adams. Ironically for a film about exhibitions springing to life Stillers performance looks the most wooden. Maybe one to take the kids to.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Tormented

British grammar school set horror, where the bullied boy turns on his tormentors from beyond the grave. No doubt the attractive set, led by Stormbreaker's Alex Pettyfer, will be picked off one by one in grusome and interesting ways. I hear it's a cross between Skins, Grange Hill and Final Destination.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

By the way there are also a lot of docs opening this weekend in London, mainly concerning the art world. I'm not a fan of cinema documentaries, prefer to watch them when I don't have to fork out £6, but there may be some good ones to look out for if you like that sort of thing.

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Angels & Demons

2009. Dir: Ron Howard. Starring: Tom Hanks, Ewan MacGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierfrancesco Favino. ●●●○○



Before I write anything else down, I know I will need to justify that score. Even for such a generous reviewer as myself 3 out of 5 seems awfully nice, and to be sure the plot is complete bobbins, the acting variable and the script risible in parts, however if you take it for what it is, a thriller set against the backdrop of a conclave for a new Pope then it does go by at a fairly reasonable pace and we learn a lot about the processes in the Vatican.



So, to recap the plo to those who haven't already read it, there's a macguffin about to explode inside the Holy City. Naturally the Church call in their sworn enemy Robert Langdon (Hanks) who you may remember uncovering the secret lovechild of Christ and sporting a strange mullett in The Da Vinci Code. I suppose that Jesus did teach forgiveness and this is especially important when the 4 leading candidates to be the next Pope has been kidnapped and a threat against the conclave has been issued.

Hanks teams up sexy scientist Zurer, who's responsible for the macguffin, and some doomed Vatican detectives (including Favino who stands out in the cast for me) to find the bomb and save the Preferati by following a treasure trail written by Bernini over 400 years ago. Possibly hampering their investigation for their own ends - it's that sort of film - are Skarsgård as the head of the Swiss Guard, MacGregor as the Camelengo (sort of Pope deputy running the show until a new one's in) and Armin Mueller-Stahl as a faintly ambitious, but definitely traditionalist Cardinal.

None of these three are particulary trying hard, but I could accept the moody Swede and the Middle European gnome, but the Irish-Italian helicopter pilot was one step too far.

The first 3/4s of the film work very well. We're either in the middle of the chase (and seeing old churchmen die in painful ways) or we're geting some insights into the workings of the Vatican (fascinating details). Even the set-up in CERN is pretty tense, except for the pointless CGI. Didn't Ron Howard learn from A Beautiful Mind that exhibiting scientific ideas with pretty lines that aren't there is just patronising?

The last 30 minutes are less successful, as the detective story we've been following falls flat and the heroes have to rely on CCTV footage to solve the crime. In the rush to end we also lose any real understanding of the motivations, so was he just mad?

The design elements are pretty good throughout, and I especially liked the costumes. Although I expect we should be congratulating Catholic tradition rather than Daniel Orlandi.

Finally I'd like to congratulate Nikolaj Lie Kaas on being a kick ass assassin. Although he was still pretty ropey - I wouldn't have used that car - at least he was better than our man in State of Play. Looks like it could be a bad year for hired killers.

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Chéri

2009. Dir: Stephen Frears. Starring: Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathy Bates, Rupert Friend, Felicity Jones and Frances Tomelty. ●●●●○



Still naff all coming out in June, and I'm still behind on the reviews, so here's one for the latest collaboration between Michelle Pfeiffer and Stephen Frears.

Plotwise the film covers the relationship between Pfeiffer's ageing courtesan (Lea) and Rupert Friend callow youth (known affectionately as Cheri), the son of Kathy Bates. The film does this in four sections; the courting, the arranged marriage for Cheri, the pretending that's everythings fine and the conclusion. Throughout this it is worth remembering that the trailer highlights the comic elements of the film but it is not a comedy. You will laugh but you will also cry, and at the end stare at the final frames in shocked bewilderment.



Cheri opens with a jolly voiceover by the director giving a potted history of the courtesans and some of the more infamous among them (missing out Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge!) and soon we're zipping through the streets of Paris meeting the characters. These early scenes are played lighly with loose editing and gentle soundtrack. In fact all elements of the film work together all the way through. As the affair ends the pacing slows and the tunes become more ponderous.

Each member of the technical crew is working at the top of their game, but it's Frears incredible touch in the directors chair that must be responsible for the keeping together of the feelings.

Michelle Pfeiffer is perfectly cast, aloof and upright, but clearly melting behind the eyes. If she gets an Oscar nod this year (not as unlikely as I had thought going in) it'll be the moments she doesn't speak that will play in any clips. Bates almost steals the show mind, giggling and gossiping her way through scenes with malevolent intent. Friend comes off as a bit of an enigma, but that's in perfect keeping with the role.

Whilst the acting noms may be in the balance, Consolata Boyle's (The Queen) costumes must be guaranteed to get her second nod. Dresses and hats so exquisite you want to reach out and grab them.

Overall this is a great little gem of a movie, watch it glisten as soon as you get a chance.

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Personal News

Rehearsals continue for Lifelong Yearning, opening in less than 2 weeks.

(No preamble, no apology for the lateness of the post, no explanation at all - I must be at work...)

By the way, took the advice on one commenter on Friday, and had a fabulous night/morning.

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Film News (16/05/09)

It's only a day late. OK, sorry, it's a good job I don't do this for a living... A few interesting stories this week, some of which have been rumoured before but now finally are selling trades, others are completely new. By the way I only report on good news, so Nicole Kidman leaving Woody Allen's next film will not get a mention. Oops.

Valentine's Day



2011's version of He's Just not Into You is picking up an impressive, if female centric cast with Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway and Shirley Maclaine all signing up. I'm on two minds about this film - I know rom com isn't really my thing, however some details of the plot are intriguing Roberts as a Army Sargeant returning home, MacLaine admitting to her husband about a long finished affair, even a gay romance with Bradley Cooper. Plus Garry Marshall can do this sort of thing well - films like Pretty Woman and Beaches litter his resume.



Blink

I still believe that Al Pacino has a good performance in him, if he picks the right project. Will this story of Wall Street traders and Al's philosophy that the best desicions can be made in split seconds (the time it takes to blink) rather than by researching the subject. As an analyst at heart it's my livelihood he's insulting there, but the premise is intriguing and Al as an aging guru might be worth a try.

Inglorious Basterds Prequel

Put this one down as a Tarantino boast - all idea no backbone - but he's told MTV that there's plenty of scope for a Inglorious Basterds prequel involving an Afro-American army battalion that were "left behind". Apparently it's a subplot exorcised from the film and it may just be enough for him to use. I very much doubt this will happen.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

Yes, Terry Gilliam has definitely returned to the script of Don Quixote and is prepping to film once more. Hi first attempt, gloriously recorded in the documentary Lost in La Mancha is legendary. Hopefully he'll have more luck this time round.


Sinatra

Martin Scorcese is set to direct a Frank Sinatra biopic. Nothing else to say about it now, but already on the edge of my seat, and hoping it'll be better than The Aviator.

Woman in Black

Bruce Beresford directs this rom-com based on a novel by Madeline St. John. The featured cast includes Monica Bellucci, Guy Pearce and Miranda Otto. Doesn't that sounds like a fascinating combination?



It's a random Woman in Black - like what I did there?

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Dennis Hopper

Happy Birthday to

Dennis Hopper

73 today

In 1969 Hopper made afilm that no-one thought would suceed with a few mates and loads of drugs in Middle America. Not only was Easy Rider a massive success but it also created American Independent Cinema. Shame he's coasted for most of the next 40 years.

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Debra Winger

Happy Birthday to

Debra Winger

54 today

Remember when everyone was Searching for Debra Winger? Well, that time has passed because Debra's making a mini-comeback at the moment, with her fine turn in Rachel Getting Married and another film next year (even if it does look rubbish)!

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Out This Week (15/05/09)

Most of the time there are 8 or so releases every week, but this week there are only 6 films. I would say that makes choosing one to recommend easier. This week though it's an easy challenge and way out ahead is Synecdoche, New York. I'm ashamed to say though I wont be going to that this weekend, but to much more low-brow fare.



Angels & Demons

Tom Hanks and Ron Howard team up again to bring us a second installment of Dan Brown's Catholic pot-boilers. Early indications are it's better than The Da Vinci Code, but not much. I have already paid for tickets.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○



Fighting

Channing Tatum, a rough tough farm boy comes to New York and gets involved with an underground illegal figting racket. I have watched the trailer several times in order to decide whether I want to see this, often in slow mo, sometimes freeze framing on Channing's body. I don't need to see anymore.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

French Film

It's not what you're thinking. Comedy about the differing attitudes of the English and the French to love, played over an interview with Eric Cantona. He's having a good week in Cannes right now promoting his new Ken Loach film, so I don't suppose he needs people to see this.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Sarvam

This was due to come out a few weeks ago, but got pulled at the last minutes. I mentioned at the time something about not understandign the costumes on the offical site. I still don't.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Synecdoche, New York

Written and directed by Charlie Kaufman, Synecdoche's plot revolves around a theatre direct(Philip Seymour Hoffman) creating a huge experimental project. It's also about the nature of art, obsession, identity and fear. A must see.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○

Viva

Part spoof, part homage to the Russ Meyer titillation films of the 1960's, Viva centres on a bored housewife who searches for sexual liberation with gaudy sets and deliberatly clunky performances.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

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Cate Blanchett

Happy Birthday to

Cate Blanchett

40 today

Perhaps a moot point celebrating the birthday of a woman who doesn't appear to age but congratulations anyway. Cate's had a bit of a rough time over the last month, having heard her voice cut from Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox. Luckily she still has Robin Hood coming up, so I'll still be seeing her in a cinema soon.

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Little Big Man

1970. Dir: Arthur Penn. Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Faye Dunaway, Chief Dan George, Martin Balsam and Jeff Corey. ●●○○○



In the 60's and 70's the Western was breathing it's final laboured gasps, and so in a desperate attempt to turn the tide the comedy western was born. Sometimes it worked (Blazing Saddles, True Grit) but often it did not. Little Big Man is a noble failure in the history of cinema.

Ostensibly it's the life story of 120 year old Jack Crabb (Dustin Hoffman) who was raised by Native Americans and fought with General Custer, add to this brushes with the church, 2 marriages, selling snake oil and a brief career as a gunslinger. Naturally all this is allegorical, the central conflict being not only an indictment of the US policy towards Native Americans but also a thinnly veiled attack on the Vietnam conflict.



Every character and chapter of the story is hiding some deeper truth about the state of Modern America, from faux mysticism to the failure of big business and the emptiness of the hawkish right wing rhetoric from the White House.

There is nothing wrong with allegorical movie making, however the broad nature of the satire (no element of society is left out) and the feeble comedy work against the motice of the film. And believe me the comedy really is dire. Hoffman's whiney, in-on-the-joke narration is off-putting enough but Faye Dunaway's lavicious ministers wife pantomiming her way through bathing Hoffman wouldn't be funny enough to go in a Carry-On movie.

There are elements to enjoy. Chief Dan George is suitably stoic as Hoffman's adoptive grandfather and the make up effects in the bookending segments are very impressive.

Overall though it's a mess, with the message being unforgiveable lost.

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Samantha Morton

Happy Birthday to

Samantha Morton

32 today

Not the best dress you've ever worn, Sam. Have a great day, looking forward to seeing your next film on Friday. It's a shame that you don't have anything else coming up that looks worth a look.

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State of Play

2009. Dir: Kavin MacDonald. Starring: Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren, Rachel McAdams and Robin Wright Penn. ●●●●○



I've been running late on reviews over the last couple of weeks, so I'll be publishing ont today, tomorrow and Thursday in order to catch up. This means there won't be a trailer today, but there's naff all out in June so I really don't care.

Coincidently I was also running a tiny bit late when I went to see State of Play and therefore missed some of the early plot. But it's OK, as I missed the plot bits about a druggy and pizza-delivery guy getting shot randomly and this was subsequently referred to a lot over the rest of the film so I don't think I actually missed anything of substance. The other story, the film starts with, is the death of a Congressional aide under mysterious circumstances. The aide works for Ben Afflecks left leaning politico who's chairing an investigation into Military subcontracts. By coincidence his high school roomie, Russell Crowe, is a top reporter for the Washington Globe and before you can say "conflict of interest" or "journalistic integrity" Russell is investigating the link between the deaths.



The film follows Crowe and Globe Blogger Rachel McAdams as they follow each twist and turn of the murder(s?) discovering a massive conspiracy which includes the ambitious and murky subcontractors, party power brokers (Jeff Daniels) and low-life PR men (Jason Bateman).

I won't give away the ending, suffice to say the screenplay leads you and Crowe in a number of false leads and suppositions until he - completely out of nowhere - remembers a small detail and solves everything. If you've seen the BBC miniseries of the same name you will know which of the supporting characters is hiding the truth, but if you haven't, like me, then the twists will be sufficiently hidden to be able to enjoy the journey.

Part of the fun in this film is comparing it to it's predecessors, the political thrillers and journalism heroics of the 70's. See All the President's Men or The Candidate. Especially in the way it treats the Newspaper setting. Foul mouthed Jason Robards may have been replaced by foul mouther Helen Mirren but the look and feel of the editors office hasn't changed at all. Although there are many hints as to the way print journalism is going - increased focus on the web side, focusing on the shareholders - it's a clear indictment of the current trends.

All of the supporting cast do a fine job, but the film squarely rests on the shoulders of Russell Crowe. He seems to be aware of this and gives his most lived in performance in 5 years, thoroughly believeable as a shlubby journo and as a man torn between the loyalty to his friends and to his job.

The techinical elements are all good, with special kudos to Cheryl Carasik's set decoration.

I do have some minor quibbles; the whole conspiracy seems a little forced, it's almost as if the plot needs a little more time to breathe. The affair between Crowe and Robin Wright Penn as Affleck's wife is retained from the original series but used as background to the relationship, I think it would have benefitted from being excised completely. Finally Michael Barresse's turn as the hitman is too bland, and perhaps the way his character operates is too opaque - almost to the point that you have no idea why he isn't caught sooner.

Overall though this is an excellent piece, proving MacDonald as a director and reaffirming Crowe's reputation as an excellent character actor.

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Lindsay Crouse

Happy Birthday to

Lindsay Crouse

61 today

I'll be honest I know nothing of lindsay's work, except that she was oscar nominated for Places in the Heart back in 1984 and has had steady, if not stella, roles since then. Anyonw remember her in The Insider or Mr. Brooks? I thought not.

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Personal News (10/05/09)

I know what you're all thinking - the idiot has missed his own deadline for the personal news again. Well, smarty pants, this week I have delayed it for a reason.

I have put it back a day because it is now 2 calendar months until I leave my current home. It is time for me to move on from the West Midlands and move to places where there is more work - at the moment I'm thinking Manchester - although I will be going back to the parents until the end of the year.

Those of you who read my sidebar will be aware that when I started the blog I was in a loving relationship. It seems that I was loving, but my ex was loving someone else. Heigh ho. Being a poor actor I stayed in his house since the split (unbelieveable awkward living with your ex and his new man) but once Lifelong Yearning is done I will have no excuse to stay.

You heard that right, the point of this entry is to say that Lifelong Yearning is such a good play I have potentially damaged my sanity by staying here in Birmingham to be able to do it. You must come and see it.

Kidderminster Rose 29-30 May
Highbury Theatre 5-6 June
Oldbury Rep 19-20 June
London Baron's Court - 23-28 June

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Running

It's Sunday, so I put in a bit more effort (length wise) than the last couple of runs, but there's been no significant chage in the speed.

Overall 7 km in 39 minutes or 10.8 kmph.

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Film News (09/05/09)

Interesting week without much in the way of news, unless you happen to be Ben Stiller's agent - but more on that later.

Used Guys

Or Ben Stiller news part 1. The Used Guys concept has been around for a while with Jim Carrey attached with Ben as two pleasure clones at the end of their career. Imagine Jude Law in AI just less sexy. Reese Witherspoon has already been added to the cast, although questions remain over Carrey's availability. Little Miss Sunshine directors Jonathan Drayton and Valerie Faris are in talks to take the helm.



Disconnect

Slight story details released for Disconnect. It's a sci-fi about how the technology that is designed to bring people together forces them apart. This could be fascinating, or could be utterly dull. Could be about man over dependence on technology, or it could be about catching the wrong bus.

Help me Spread Goodness

The second piece of Ben Stiller news is the Nigerian e-mail scam movie he's signedon to direct for Participant Media. Apparently as well as being potential comic gold (Chicago banker falls for scam) will also bring into focus the plight of the people who are working these scams.

Inception

More cast for Nolan's Inception. Joining DiCaprio, Page, Gordon-Levitt, Caine, Murphy and Cottilard are Batman alumni Ken Watanabe and Tom Hardy (Bronson). This has now got to be the most interesting and exciting cast for 2010.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2

Call me sceptical as not only do I not think this story will run, but I also think it wouldn't be any good, however Robert Zemeckis has blabbed to MTV how he's interested in revisiting the 1988 comedy, using his motion capture technology.

Oh, and to remind you how great the original is here's Jessica Rabbit:

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Albert Finney

Happy Birthday to

Albert Finney

73 today

I couldn't let the birthday of this larger than life British actor past without celebration. Albert is superb in just about everything he does, even if in the ral world he's a little crotchety.

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Out this week (08/05/09)

After last weeks dreadful showing there's a little more quality circulating this weeks releases. With probably the best looking blockbuster for 2009 in Star Trek. Of course I'm a sucker for costume pictures so my recommendation is for Michelle Pfeiffer in Cheri.



Blue Eyelids

Mexican film about a girl who wins a dream holiday and then picks a stranger off the street to go with her. Won the Special Jury Prize for World Cinema - Dramatic at last years Sundance festival.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Chéri

Michelle Pfeiffer, Stephen Frears and writer Christopher Hampton reunite 21 years after their successful collaboration on Dangerous Liaisons. Reviews are mixed, saying this productions fails to hit those dizzy heights, but the look of the trailer is terrific and Michelle is still absolutely stunning in period garb.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○


Coraline

Coraline resents her "eat your greens" surburban parents, so when she finds a secret door to an alternative universe with loving and less strict other parents she is overjoyed. The glee turns to chills in this otherworldly stop-motion adaptation for less excitable children.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○


Delta

Incest and murder rub shoulders in this Hungarian artfilm, inspired by and mixing the elements of Hamlet and Electra.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


Little Ashes

Can Robert (Twilight, famous hair) Pattinson deliver in a real film? See this recreation of the love affair between surrealist Salvadore Dali and famed Spanish writer Lorca to find out.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


Momma's Man

Exploring the need to escape from lifes responsibilities this New York set drama concerns a young man who goes for an extended stay at his parents Manhattan loft whilst avoiding his wife and child.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Munde uk De

Colourful but informationless poster, no real plot description, a cast that seemed to appear from nowhere. Bollywood once again makes no effort to engage my interest.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○


O'Horten

A rare film aimed at the older crowd. Odd Horten (Baard Owe) finds that life only really starts when he retires from the railways. A meditative and insightful look at a man discovering himself for the first time

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


Star Trek

J.J. Abrams reinvents the 60's sci-fi for the 21st century by focusing on the early life and first mission of the original crew. It's funky, funny and winning over the critics. Will this be the best blockbuster of 2009? (By all means say whatn you think in the comments)

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

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Janet McTeer

Happy Birthday to

Janet McTeer

48 today

As well as wishing Newcastle born Janet a very happy birthday I would like to heartily congratulate her for her Tony nomination for Mary Stuart. Another fine British export.

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Running

Another little jaunt this morning, just a bit longer than Wednesday's effort.

Today it was 4.4 km in 24 minutes or 10.7 kmph, so a bit slower than Wednesday and nowhere near my better runs.

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Running

I have actually been for a run this morning. It's been a wile so I just wet for a short one but I'm OK with the time so that's something at least.

4 km in 22 minutes or 10.8 kmph.

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Personal News (03/05/09)

I really must get into the habit of writing this when I'm meant to, and not a couple of days later when I've nothing else to do.



So anyway. Rehearsals for Lifelong Yearning are now fully underway, I've even met the entire cast. You can get details of the dates and venues on RemoteGoat and from there book tickets. Look forward to seeing you all there.

I've also signed up for another season of Of Mice and Men. I'm slightly worried about being stale, but half the cast are changing so that should help. More details (with a schedule) when I have it.

As promised, at some time I'm sure, here is the trailer/promo for Fleeced the gangster comedy I've been involved with (filmed middle of last year). Obviously this is just a very rough cut in order to be able to secure funding to actually make the film rather than just the promo. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comments.

Fleeced from i-catching movies on Vimeo.

Finally I also have to tell you that Bahrain was absolutely beautiful. The race was superb, really exciting. And I've decided, being the cheap tart that I am, to support the driver I thought was the most attractive. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Heikki Kovaleinen:



mmm Heikki. I'm off to bed now.

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Sugar

I'm looking at June's scheduling right now and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed with what's on offer. The only one I'm currently planning on seeing is Sugar, the baseball biopic currently doing well on the indie circuit in the US. I will be fair though and say I am looking forward to this quite a lot.

So here's the trailer:



Sugar comes on on 5 June 2009.

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Richard Jenkins

Happy Birthday to

Richard Jenkins

62 today

After yeasrs of strong character actor semi-obscurity Richard finally got a chance to shine with The Visitor in 2008 which earned him his first Oscar nomination. Coming up next, that I want to see, is Dear John an adaptation of a novel by Nicolas Sparks (The Notebook, Walk to Remember) which looks like it could be low-key and do reasonable box office.

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Film News (02/05/09 - and previous week)

Bumper news report this week, as I wasn't able to catch up last week. There's also box office news and the Cannes line-up. So lets not mess around any more and just dive straight in:

Wall Street 2



The most shocking story of the last couple of weeks must be the resurrection of long-mooted sequel to Wall Street, Oliver Stone's film about the brutal power players of the eponymous financial district. Back in the Reagan Boom years Michael Douglas's Gordon Gekko was cock-of-the-wall, tossing aside the rule books and the needs of the common workers in order to make money. Of course in the end protege Charlie Sheen squeals on his nefarious activities and we can only assume Gekko gets his just deserts. Nearly 25 years later, with the money markets in freefall it will be interesting to see how Gekko moved on. Of course the issue with the original is even though Gekko is clearly a villian he was such a strongly written character the public, especially the traders and wheeler dealers he was parodying, felt inspired by his example.

Just read through the Greed is good speech, and tell me you don't want to clap at the sheer balls of it:

"The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."



The End of Eternity

Kevin MacDonald is obviously an ambitious man. State of Play is just out, Eagle of the Ninth is in development and he's also signed on to direct an adaptation of Isaac Asimov's sci-fi classic. The plot concerns a race of beings (Eternity) who exist outside normal rules of time and space. Only one of them falls in love with a human causing their destruction. Sounds cheery, or like an extended episode of Star Trek. We'll see.

Inception

Unsurprisingly Michael Caine has joined Nolan's sci-fi for next year. This marks the 4th film in a row they've worked on together. Also joining the cast is Joseph Gordon-Levitt who continues to build an impressive CV.


The Lone Ranger

More details of the Lone Ranger movie are coming out, based on the wildly popular TV series from the 40s, which was in turn based on the pre-war radio serial. The film, will be an origins story, of sorts. As our hero (rumoured to be George Clooney) is ambushed with his troop of Texas Rangers, rescued and nursed by Native American Tonto (Johnny Depp) they then seek vengence. I'm either way of this adaptation - I'm not sure we need an origin story and whilst I love Depp as much as the next man I'd like to think there are some actors with Native American roots who could do the part just as well. I'll be keeping a close eye on details though.

Passing Strange

PBS have picked up Spike Lee's filmed version of the hit stage musical "Passing Strange". Early indications are that they'll aim to release it in cinemas. Filming stage productions is always a risky business, you act in a different way and static cameras can feel awfully dull. Nevertheless the story of a middle class blak man from the US who goes all "street" when he goes to Europe may be enough to keep the interest.



Red/Scarpa

Bruce Willis is having a hard time selecting his next project. Among the options are the biopic of Mafia mole Gregory Scarpa Sr. (left, looking much like Bruce...) and Red, a graphic novel adapatation about a former black ops (what is that?) soldier who is targetted by an assassin. We all know that in either film Bruce will play Bruce Willis the action star, but that's always good fun.

Straw Dogs

For years it was just a rumour, and then it was a release date, but now it seems the Straw Dogs remake is picking up steam with James Marsden picked up for the lead and a relocation of the action back to the US. This is a good move; over reverentially sticking to the original will have caused unnecessary comparisons, and no-one could honestly compare Marsden to Dustin Hoffman.

Untitled Mike Leigh Film

Focus features have signed a deal funding Mike Leigh's next project with Film4 and the UK Film Council. No plot or title yet, although I very much doubt it has a plot at this early stage knowing how Leigh works. We do know that Jim Broadbent and Imelda Staunton are filling up the cast list.



Jack Cardiff

Our thoughts are with the family of Jack Cardiff, the incredibly talented cinematographer who passed away on 22 April aged 94. His greatest work was with Powell and Pressburger so please spend some time this month to reaquaint yourself with one of his highlights. I'm off to see Black Narcissus right now.

Cannes Film Festival

The main lineup for Cannes has been annouced and includes such films as Antichrist, Bright Star, Broken Embraces, Inglorious Basterds and Taking Woodstock in competition. That's 5 established arthouse favourites (von Trier, Campion, Almodovar, Tarantino and Lee). Now I want to see all these films too, but surely a film festival with as much influence as Cannes should be mixing it up a little. The vast majority of the films in competition are from recognisable auteurs, often with previous invitations to the Croisette. I'll do a more thorough Cannes preview just before it opens on 13 May.

Box Office News

Release Date News

Everlasting Moments - I've already let this particular cat out of the bag with the trailers but Jan Troell's film about a photographer atthe turn of the 20th century has a new release date of 22 May 2009.

Where the Wild Things Are - Over the last month or so the Where the Wild Things are trailer and posters have been whetting my appetite for the film, and now they've moved the release date forward a month, so we only have to wait until 23 October 2009.

Salt - Also moving the release date, this time by only a week, is Anjelina Jolie's spy thriller Salt. I say spy thirller, the set pictures released so far sem mor like a wig catalogue. See it on 20 August 2010.

Morning Glory - Now the cast for Roger Michell's anchors at war comedy is completed it's been given a release of 10 September 2010. (It's OK the US release is in July so it's not looking like their throwing it in the September graveyard already.)

Box Office Report

The top five from March really has no surprises at all. Of course we should never underestimate the British public's love for dogs, hence Marley & Me annihilating the competition at the top. It's followed by two action hits (snark snark) a breakout comedy and a period drama. Perhaps the Young Victoria may appear to be the odd one out, but period always has a following over here and the advertising we pretty thorough. Once again I have only seen one of these, although embarassingly it's the one at the top.

1. Marley & Me
2. Watchmen
3. Knowing
4. Paul Blart: Mall Cop
5. The Young Victoria



A puppy - could be Marley, but honestly who care's it's so cute...

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Theodore Bikel

Happy Birthday to

Theodore Bikel

85 today

Solid character actor on the screen, broadway legend and expert on european folk music Theodore Bikel is one of entertainment's renaissaince men. It's his stage work that defines him though, with over 2000 performances of Fiddler on the Roof under his belt. The picture is taken from his 2008 show (that's right still working the stage) "Sholom Aleichem: Laughter Through Tears".

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Out at other times (so far this year)

In my last post I alluded to other releases, but I think it needs a post all to itself. As you all know I was in Bahrain last weekend - more on that on Sunday. Anyway I prepared last weeks out this week the week before and therefore promised to check what I thought would be released was actually released. Almost, but not quite. Out was the confusing Tamil films with ice skating costomes (Sarvam) and in was City Rats. This made me curious as to whether there were any other schedule changes I'd missed so I checked every release year to date, and it seems I've missed the following. So here goes with deep deep apologies to the producers of these lost masterpieces. (By the way, the best of these films is pictured but I won't tell you which one it is, as it isn't really a recommendation per se.)




City Rats

Released 24 April.

Danny Dyer is as rough as a special brew but surely everyone wants him to bugger them senseless in a back alley in Canning? I would, however it seems no-one wants to see his latest film; a multi-character interconnected drama with suicidal lovers, deaf gay teens, performance poets persuing paralysed prostitutes and Danny typecast as an alcoholic ex-ganster. Less than 75 people went to see it, even though he plugged it on Britains most popular light entertainment show the day before.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Gunesi Gordum

Released 17 April.

Turkish movie about the forced migration of the Altrun family and the subsequent changes in lifestyle and dynamics over 25 years. Very highly praised.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Kadri'nin götürdügü yere git

Released 06 March.

And here is the other end of the Turkish movie spectrum. Wedding set farce, with appalling score on imdb, and very little ticket sales (although it has made 10 times as much as City Rats). I'm guessing that speaks for itself.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●○○○○○○○○○

Five Minutes of Heaven

Released 27 February.

Oliver Hirshbiegel's (Downfall, The Invasion) study of two men on opposite sides in Northern Ireland coming to terms with the peace process starred Liam Neeson and James Nesbitt. Oddly it received a tiny tiny cinematic release the same weekend it aired for free on BBC2. I'm not sure why.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


Zill-e-shah

Released 27 February.

Bollywood movie about young lovers seperated by society. Although somewhat bleakly when they find they cannot be together the hero kills his lovers fiance, then the girl kills herself when she's told the only way he'll be released (for murder!) is if she marries the son of her intended. I'm assuming he stays in jail after that.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○


Timecrimes

Released 06 February.

OK, this is the film with a picture, although I stress this is not the top film for the week, as it came out against 9 blob Benjamin Button, still it's an interesting looking thinky sci-fi about a man who time travels one hour but then causes shifts in reality from his actions. Hollywood remake is in development.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


Padikkathaan

Released 23 January.

Tamil Action Comedy about an illiterate boy who bets his father that he can get a degree. Soemhow this leads to a romance with a highly educated girl. I'm not sure, from the plot descriptions, that that indicates that by marrying the girl our hero will have himself "own" the degree. Urgh.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○




Oh, and here's a pic of Danny shirtless and all cockteasy for you...

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Out this Week (01/05/09)

And out other weeks - but I'll come to that later, after I've a thorough moan about the films in cinemas this week. Today marks the beginning of the blockbuster season as Hugh Jackman's Wolverine will slice and dice his way to the top of the charts, and for the next 4 months there will be at least one big budget action spectacle a week, maybe with some nifty counter programming. This week the counter programming has, with the exception of one hidden gem, spectacularly failed. In fact I've compared my excitometer scores (based on a highly complex formula that mixes the reviews, advertising, talent, buzz and plot) and found that this week has the lowest average this year, slipping to less than 2.75. So I can say with all my heart if you're not going to see Is Anybody There? you're better off kicking a ball aroung a park for 3 hours instead.



Funuke - Show some love, you losers!

It gets kudos for that title certainly. Japanese film about a family getting together for the funeral of their parents, leading to traumatic and bloody fights.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○



Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I actually quite like the idea of this - serial womaniser is visited by girlfriends past, present and future in order to show him the error of his ways in the spirit of A Christmas Carol. Only the fun seems to has drifted away in the execution, and the posters make Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner look like waxworks.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Miley Cyrus brings her treasured TV alterego to the big screen in order to learn valuable lessons about life on the farm and away from the limelight. Embarassing confession - I actually quite like Miley's "See you Again".

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Helen

The eponymous heroine, on leaving a care home, is invited to assist with a reconstruction as part of an investigation into a missing girl. Much introverted sould searching follows.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○


Is Anybody There?

Surprisingly this film about a boy growing up in an nursing home with Michael Caine's charismatic retired magician and a host of semi recognisable british veterans is the most relevant and alive picture openign this week.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○


Kal Kissne Dekha

Two lovers from wildly divergent backgrounds? Check. Mysterious strangers conspiring to keep them apart? Check. Silly plot about seeing the future merely a smokescreen for a standard romcom? Check. Bollywood at it's most transparent.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Kandasamy

Have absolutely no idea about this other Bollywood release. Probably as daft as the above, mind.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I'm shallow but even the thought of Hugh Jackman's bum will not be enough for me to make the trip to see this dreadful Wolverine prequel. With awkwardly inserted fanboy favourites and the cynical rough leak, in order to have something to blame when it fails to perform to expectations.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

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