There's a grim inevitability to this week, we've been leading up to it since the start of 2012, although you could in fact look back further, since September last year. We have now run out of films worth seeing. Oscar season is well and truly behind us, and the big summer tentpoles are a few months ahead so we're stuck in the doldrums of early spring. Over the past three years release schedules have proved remarkably stable with an average of 3 releases I've wanted to see in March and just 2 in April and this year looks even worse. At the moment there only one scheduled release in the next 6 weeks looks likely to excite me enough to visit the cinema. In the meantime there may be some unusual releases heading for the coveted film of the week accolade, movies that wouldn't stand a chance against the middle of the road dramas I tend to favour, and so it is with this week's top choice. Cold-hearted European art-house cinema rarely appeals to me, so this low-key Austrian effort following the day to day life of a loner insurance salesman/dangerous paedophile and the pre-pubescent boy he has locked in the cellar has chosen as extraordinary week for it's release date. Be prepared to be shocked by the theme (if not the content which is resolutely non exploitative) of the RLAG film of the week Michael.
Last week I predicted box office domination by The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and whilst it did extraordinarily well, taking £2.2m, it wasn't quite enough to topple Daniel Radcliffe and The Woman in Black off the top of the charts even in his third week. This week I'm torn, clearly the spy vs. spy high concept of This Means War, combined with solid marketing and a high screencount will ensure it's beats all rivals to become the biggest grossing new release, however the poor performance Stateside and general crappiness of the content seen so far suggests they won't be queuing round the block. With that in mind either WiB, or the oldie centric Exotic Marigold with it's traditionally low first weekend turnout could wind up in the lead, I'm going to predict a fourth week for the highest grossing British horror since reliable records began.
Michael
The biggest question about Marcus Schleinzer's dark look at the domestic arrangements of a child abuser is not what has influenced his deliberate, focussed style - an acolyte and collaborator with Michael Haneke the German master's style is clearly evoked in the trailer - but why choose to observe a banal demonstration of evil practice without painting him as a monster or even trying to condemn and explain his actions. No doubt viewers will be divided on how to punish or cure the perpetrator, but I suspect the mere passing of time, the inevitable aging of his victim is seen as the most significant pat of his downfall.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Read on after the jump for the full round up of this week's releases, complete with every trailer that matters. Look out for Bowie inspired schoolteachers, super-chilled hippies and misuse of Government funds.
The trailer for Michael manages to be capture the spirit of the film whilst delivering a strange chill even without knowing the content of the film.
This Means War
It's hard to imagine what persuaded rising stars Chris Pine and Tom Hardy to sign up to this clichéd action comedy, surely both of them have the career momentum and cinematic nous to successfully avoid the clutches of Charlie's Angels director McG. Yet here they are diverting CIA agents and equipment from real work by directing their considerable resources in winning the hand of serial dater Reese Witherspoon. Personally I'd have realised that any girl willing to double date behind your back isn't worth it, but that would have made for a very short film. Rosemary Harris and Angela Bassett are among the supporting cast.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Carancho
I will have to check this but I'm sure there was talk back in 2010 that Pablo Trapero's Argentinian drama would get the remake treatment. He runs off and checks. Yes, Scott Cooper was set to direct with the translated title Vultures. We haven't heard anything about that in over a year so I guess this may be the only chance to see this highly recommended investigation into the seedy world of ambulance chasing litigators and doctors patching up the countless road traffic victims. Please note Argentina you may be threatening a boycott of UK imports over the Falklands but we're still going to let your critically acclaimed movies show here.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
If Not Us, Who
The 1960's as witnessed by a couple of rebellious left-wing West German students. Covering the post-war period of denial and conformity segueing into the rise of psychedelica and pro-violence activism there must be a whole load of ground covered to make sense of the shifting European mindsets. Hopefully the central passionate, tumultuous love affair is enough to keep the audience grounded.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Wanderlust
I really don't like Jennifer Aniston. It's not her screen persona which always seems to be a variation on a theme of Rachel; I really do understand the pressure and career necessity of typecasting. Nor is it the choices of films she makes, the back catalogue of largely inoffensive (rom)-coms generally passes me by - I've only seen Marley & Me, Rumor Has it, Rock Star and the Object of My Affection in cinemas, all of which I regretted. Mostly I am irritated by her contrived ditziness and faux intellectualism. I don't know if she can act well, but I do know she can't hold her own in a chat with Front Row's Mark Lawson. In this Jennifer and recently unemployed hubby Paul Rudd find themselves not fitting in at the hippy commune led by coasting Alan Alda.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Hunky Dory
Do you remember when Minnie Driver was about to be the next big thing? I honestly don't know where it went wrong for her as she's both stunning and a talented actress. I suppose a couple of cinematic missteps are all it takes far a star to wane. In this anti-"Glee" she plays a Welsh drama teacher coercing her students into a production of Shakespeare's The Tempest with 70's musical interludes. The talented younger cast all perform live but I can't help thinking it seems all a bit too nostalgic.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
London Paris New York
Bollywood romantic comedy that does exactly what it says on the tin - a globetrotting adventure with two obviously mismatched twenty somethings finding common ground and a mutual desire over three nights in different cities.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Paan Singh Tomar
Our second Indian release is a biopic of Paan Singh Tomar, a record breaking steeplechase runner who dominated the sport in the 1950's before he was forced to abandon athletics in order to avenge the murder of his mother by a criminal gang. Star Irfan Khan has called it "the most physically and mentally demanding film of my career".
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Project X
I think I'm getting old. Obviously in a strict literal sense we all are, but I think my age is beginning to affect my opinions about upcoming movies. After all there was a time when I would have flocked to see a film about a massive party going out of control, in fact I distinctly remember loving the third act of Weird Science in all it's anarchic glory. But since then I have been to parties, I have done the cleaning massively hungover, I have fixed furniture and discovered the best parties are rarely the biggest. That said there's only one found footage movie about wild excess this weekend so I suspect there'll be an audience.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●○○○○○○○○○
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Not your average Monster (Out this week - 02/03/12)
Friday, 4 November 2011
A Date for your Diary (Out this week - 04/11/11)
You know it's not a classic week when I go with a foreign language movie as the top choice. Please don't take that the wrong way, obviously I understand that cinema was mostly born in France and that high quality pictures are produced around the world every year, however because I'm mainly in thrall of tinseltown my excitement levels for American product is usually higher (I know more about it for a start) so it's unusual if a little delightful to see a Norwegian drama taking the top spot, film of the week is Oslo, 31 August.
Oslo, 31 August
Almost documentary style in it's realism and hand-held closeness, this Scandivian pic, which comes with very complimentary reviews, follows a thirty something former drug addict on the day in question as he struggles with choosing a future that can provide the comfort he craves.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Jack Goes Boating
Philip Seymour Hoffman directs and stars in the big screen adaptation of an off-Broadway hit by Robert Glaudini, essentially a romance between lonely people in New York counterbalanced by the disintegration of another couples relationship, it's the kind of plot you imagine PSH would be drawn to. Also starring Amy Ryan.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Machine Gun Preacher
Sam Childer's biopic (hell's angel turned heaven's warrior) that I've followed since it's initial planning stages, also marks the first step of Gerard Butler's new career, although probably won't be his entry into the Oscar race.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Tower Heist
Shock horror, it's a Ben Stiller/Eddie Murphy comedy that actually looks quite good, possibly because of it's on the nose plot about disgruntled workers sticking one to the capitalist system, but also because of the fantastic supporting cast (Gabourey Sidibe, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda and Judd Hirsch).
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
The Future
Miranda July's indier than thou style may put off viewers with low levels of quirk tolerance (especially if the thought of her voicing monologues from a soon to be adopted cat makes you wince) but the trailer hints at exploring the staleness of relationships and the importance of finding the real you.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Straw Dogs
Updated and relocated to the deep south it's highly unlikely that Rod Lurie's movie will have half the impact or cultural resonance of Sam Peckinpah's gory 1971 thriller. Appalling box office, less than $11m, in the US indicates there isn't even a market for this uncalled for remake.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Anatolian Eagles
The Turkish Top Gun....Sort of... Five diverse candidates line up for the opportunity to fly fast jets in the Turkish Air Force. Is the jet squadron so small they only take 5 pilots a year?
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Human Centipede Part 2
Now the stink over it's initial "banning" from the BBFC has cleared the cut (about 8 seconds) version is still aiming for the gorno crowd, it's a shame as Tom Six's follow-up with it's avant garde black and white cinematography and it's meta plot about an obsessive film fan re-enacting the original human centipede could've been an involving character study.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
In Time
Is Justin Timberlake a bona fide filmstar? Probably not but at least he gets to run around a lot in Sndrew (Gattaca) Nichol's latest sci-fi thriller set in an alternative future where time is the only currency. Interesting concept at least.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Weekend
Much buzzed about gay romance with Tom Cullen and Chris New's one-night stand in Nottingham getting perilously close to something more over the course of one weekend of drugs, sex and intimate chats. I've heard relentless raves from the LGBT community and the festival circuit so maybe I can be persuaded to catch it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Will
A treat for Liverpool football club fans here with Stephen Gerrard getting more screentime than pitch time in recent months. It's a heart warming story about an orphan travelling across Europe to see the Champions League final with the tickets his Dad bought. Trivia fans note Bob Hoskins plays a kindly publican and the film is only showing in the North West.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Gunfighter's Pledge
Luke Perry and C. Thomas Howell reappear from under the rock they've been hiding under since the mid 90's to star in a revenge Western with a central gunfight that's completely spoiled in the trailer. It's been in limited release since Monday but no-one seems to have heard about it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Junkhearts
Brit indie about a haunted soldier, a determined rough sleeper and a hedonistic prostitute and the deeply depressing relations between them. Guardian film critic Jason Solomons cameos as a barman, that makes me so mad as any jobbing actor (including myself) would have killed for that role and they give it to a critic. Shame.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
If laotung, the concept of childhood friend being bound together for eternity, in any way appeals then you can probably add a blob or two to the rating here. Two narratives, one in modern Shanghai the other in 19th century feudal China, explore the meanings of sisterly love.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Friday, 28 January 2011
Alan Alda
Happy Birthday to
Alan Alda
75 today
Born Alphonso D'Abruzzo in New York three quarters of a century ago, Alda has been constantly in demand as an actor and director since his TV debut in The Phil Silvers Show, but of curse he's best remembered for his role as Captain Pierce in TV's M*A*S*H. He's got a couple of big films coming this year, Tower Heist and Wanderlust, but I can't say I'm relishing the thought of them.
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Alan Alda
Happy Birthday to
Alan Alda
73 today
It's hard to believe, but everyone's favourite M*A*S*H doctor is 73 today. Alan's next film is Nothing but the Truth about journalistic integrity and source anonymity. It was released in that States late last year, but failed to garner any Oscar traction. Let's hope we do get to see it here as Alan is always worths spending some time with.
