Busy-ish week with lots of fine looking European movies competing for our collective attentions this weekend. Which, for the uninitiated basically means I will largely ignore the supposed big hitters that will blast their way into the box office charts -even the plasticine based one which looks quite good - and instead focus all my attention on the arthouse circuit this weekend. I suppose one of the real tragedies of our age is that even though there are three very highly praised foreign language pictures this week, any one of which could have made my film of the week, none of them has opened in as few as 5 cinemas let alone the 425 that The Hunger Games is still holding on to. Oh well, eschewing messed up relationships and miniature trees I have chosen Corpo Celeste as the runs like a gay film of the week.
Last week no-one was surprised to see Katniss Everdene smash it on the box office chart both sides of the Atlantic as well as Australia, Brazil, France, Germany, Mexico, New Zealand, Norway, Russia, Singapore, South Korea and Sweden, as well as virtually everywhere else, so I get no kudos for jumping onto that particular bandwagon, even if I haven't personally added to it's gargantuan haul. This week we have dancing teens and wrathful Gods but I suspect Ardman Animation have the necessary edge to be next weeks number one with Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists
Corpo Celeste
Coming of age dramas might seem like a done to death genre but Alice Rohrwacher Cannes hit seems to take a interesting twist focussing on the confirmation classes of our heroine Martha and her readjustment following a recent upheaval.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
The trailer certainly hints at the complex moral and religious layers confronting young Catholic girls.
Babycall
Noomi Rapace gets the opportunity to shine as a character both far removed from her revelatory turn as Lisbeth Salander as well as sharing some common DNA as a young mother escaping an abusive past who accidently overhears a shocking event somewhere in her apartment block. Superior Scandinavian thriller.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Bonsai: A Story of Love Books and Plants
Looking slightly more surreal is this South American picture flicking between two timelines - the present where a writer tries to impress his new found love and the past the story the writer is telling of a previous relationship and how it failed. Looks really intriguing, but also only showing in one cinema.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists
Aardman are back with their first feature length hand crafted animation since The Curse of the Were Rabbit. Hugh Grant plays the less successful than ambitious Pirate Captain intent on winning the Pirate of the year award, with David Tennant as Darwin who gets caught up with his nefarious plans. Imelda Staunton and Selma Hayek are along for the ride.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Tiny Furniture
Five films in before the first US production and even this with it's vague indie stylings feels miles apart from the bombastic blockbusters that usually clog up screens. Flirting dangerously with an overdose of quirk the trailer at least gives us a glimpse of the multi talented (writer/director/actor) Lena Dunham who will be one to watch out for in the future.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Les Lyonnais
Probably forgettable French crime drama, based on a true story, that nonetheless looks epic enough in scope to consider itself as an vague relative of the Godfather trilogy and more recently Mesrine. It'll be interesting if this finds an audience.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Streetdance 2
Back when the first Streetdance came out a couple of years ago I remember being really captivated by the 3D trailer which promised the dancers jumping out of the screen at you, it's interesting the inevitable sequel is underplaying that aspect which perhaps shows the public loss of interest in 3D screenings. Anyhoo this looks like it will still appeal to the same crowd as the rest of the dancing movies with it's mix of beautiful people and displays of rhythm. I think Tom Conti learnt his French accent from watching "Allo Allo".
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Switch
I am assured it has a very limited cinematic release as well as the DVD issue this trailer points to even if I can't find a listing that proves that. Eric Cantona, who has done an awfully good job in changing career from footballer to actor, must run through a lot of streets to prevent bad things happening to fellow runner Karine Vanasse. Or something like that anyway.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
3
Two things struck me whilst watching the trailer for this Tamil language action romance. Primarily I really like the graphic where the heart monitor turns into writing, lovely job, and then I decided I need to go to India to give some lessons in kissing as the leads miss each others mouths twice in quick succession and clearly need help.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Wrath of the Titans
It seems slightly disingenuous to end with this mythology sequel especially as it seems infinitely better than it's 2010 forebear. That said expect it to fail miserably at the box office and for the studios to continue to doubt the leading man credentials of Sam Worthington. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes are on hand to do some thesping as a couple of the Gods in need of Perseus' aid.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Coming of age in Italy (Out this week - 30/03/12)
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Who Watches the Watchman (Out this week - 20/01/12)
Things are hotting up in British cinemas this weekend, as we try to push through all the awards bait pictures before the BAFTA deadline, so this weekend there's FBI agents vs. Roman Generals vs. headline grabbing Royals. In terms of my most anticipated of these I will confess the poor reviews for Clint Eastwood's biopic have not significantly dampened my enthusiasm so film of the week is J. Edgar.
In terms of box office Haywire has the most screens this side of the pond, but I suspect that franchise familiarity may just help Kate Beckinsale and her lycanthropic frenemies will take the top spot.
J. Edgar
A couple of weeks ago the Margaret Thatcher biopic managed to squeak it's way to the top of my highly anticipated pile, even though it appeared to whitewash history, and suddenly here we are again with exactly the same thing only centred around the FBI's most notorious and mendacious head of. Still the performances by Leo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer (as his almost lover Clyde Tolson) sound like they could elevate the movie.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○
Coriolanus
Big screen Shakespeare is often a hit and miss affair, especially when bringing his work into modern dress (in spite of the tremendous success of modern design on stage), so there has been a noticeable trepidation from purists about Ralph Fiennes' update of the lesser known piece. That said the Chechnya like setting appears to work exceptionally well with Vanessa Redgrave and Jessica Chastain both receiving high praise in supporting roles.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Haywire
Steven Soderbergh exercises his action itch allowing MMA fighter Gina Carano her moment in the sun as nearly super-heroic Mallory Kane figuring out who double crossed her whilst fighting Channing Tatum, Michael Fassbender and Michael Douglas.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Nine Muses
I wasn't sure about including this as it's more documentary than narrative, indeed it started as a exhibit at the BFI. John Akomfrah's experimental film juxtaposes a retelling of Homer's Odyssey - using the UK immigrant experience in the 1960's - with images of an Alaskan winter. Beguiling trailer.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Red Light Revolution
Billed as China's first and only sex shop comedy (unsurprising given the limited scope of the sub-genre) the trailer links together the kind of jokes you'd expect from any sexual aid romp regardless of it's national origin, including some stunts I'm sure we'd all do if we were locked into Anne Summers overnight!
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
W.E.
Did you think, whilst watching last years terrific King's Speech that what the world really needed was a sympathetic look at Wallace and Edward in the months leading towards the UK's only abdication. (I actually thought last year's movie was fairly even-handed about Wallace, highlighting the snobbery from certain corners of the Family). Apparently Madonna wanted more so we get more in the shape of this hagiography of the central relationship and endless shots of gaudy jewels.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Sitter
If Jonah Hill picks up and Oscar nod next week for his supporting turn in Moneyball it'll be dreck like this unoriginal comedy from David Gordon Green that prevents him from winning the prize. Certainly avoidable.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Underworld: Awakening
It's not a critically lauded franchise, however the series has always produced decent returns and with Kate Beckinsale returning from her third movie hiatus this should clean up in the multiplexes. Stephen Rea sits on the didelines of the eternal battle between werewolves and vampires.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
X: Night of Vengeance
Oz-sploitation thriller about two hookers caught up in a very unlikely mystery. Just listened to a review online that plainly stated most plot moving conversations co-incidently take place in bra and panties or even less. I'm sure it's fine if you like that sort of thing.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Friday, 15 July 2011
Bring me Harry Potter (Out this week - 15/07/11)
Let's not pretend anything here. There is only one movie that's even vaguely hitting the headlines this week and as much as I'd like to support the Spanish prison dramas or independent grindhouse spin-offs there's no denying the pull of J K Rowling's literary behemoth. So it is with no shock the runs like a gay film of the week is the final battle between good and evil, it's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow Part II.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow Part II
As the British film industry grinds to a halt following the closure of the Potter franchise (although you have to wonder if the Potterverse project will lead to some future spin-offs) lets look forward to seeing the lengthy awards calibre supporting cast list (in this film there are 19 acting nominations, 4 wins, from 7 performers - see the labels below - and how many casts can claim that?) doing more serious work over the next couple of years.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Cell 211
Popular Spanish thriller following a rookie prison screw on his first day who gets caught a riot and becomes chummy with the criminal leading the revolt, and finds his loyalties deeply questioned. The US remake is already being written.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Bal (Honey)
The third in a loose trilogy of films focussing on the lives of working class Turks from Semih Kaplanoglu. Naturalistic and unsentimental the movie reflects a way of life slowly coming to an end.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Hobo with a Shotgun
The second fake trailer from Tarantino and Rodriguez's Grindhouse experiment to be made into a full scale movie looks more promising than Machete in that it keeps it's lo-fi premise and ultra-violent concept and save Rutger Hauer as our shotgun wielding hero doesn't overfill the cast with unnecessary cameos. That said it may not be to everyone's taste.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Treacle Jr.
Independent British movie starring the ubiquitous Aiden Gillen (honestly he seems to be everywhere over here at the moment) and Tom Fisher as two middle aged men unable to conform within modern society, it might be an interesting dissection of modern attitudes to mental health but the trailer isn't making that too clear.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Zindagi Na Milenge Dobara
Possible the only Bollywood release this week - I say possible as the twice delayed Deiva Thirumagal is also supposedly hitting cinemas this weekend - is a drama about three friends turning their fantasy vacation into reality following one of them getting engaged. No, I don't understand how that serves as a plot synopsis either.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
Ralph Fiennes
Happy Birthday to
Ralph Fiennes
48 today
It's been a wizard year for Ralph, he's not quite top of the UK cinema with 5 starring roles but his Voldemort is far more memorable than any other villian in 2010. Coming next year is his directorial debut, an adaptation of minor Shakespearean tragedy Coriolanus.
Saturday, 20 November 2010
He who must not be named gets the upper hand (Out this week - 19/11/10)
I'm writing this in advance, so some of the excitometer scores are yet to be confirmed, but saying that I'm still taking a punt on the film of the week. I would love to pick out the Cuban romantic animation Chico and Rita, but frankly unless the reviews are dreadful the box office champ and my own personal film of the week is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.
Adrift
No, it's not the Open Water sequel, but instead a Brazilian drama about a 14 year girl old on holiday discoveries her fathers (Vincent Cassel) infidelities and developing a burgeoning romance of her own.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Broken Sun
Australian drama set during the second World War charting the shifting relationship between a suicidal veteran and an escaped Japanese POW as the former returns him to the camp across the outback as each discover how war impacts the soul of a soldier.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Chico and Rita
Adult animation, partly hand drawn, partly CGI, about a Cuban couple (a singer and a pianist) who love each other too much for the relationship to last longer than thier international tour.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Dream Home
Satire on the housing crisis and the desire for a better home with Josie Ho running amock on her would be neighbours after a housepurchase falls through. Some inventive deaths look inevitable.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Guzaarish
I'm curious to see what the tone of this Bollywood drama starring Aishwarya Rai will be. The plot concerns a magician fighting for euthanasia following a major accident.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
And so it begins, the (first half of the) final chapter of J K Rowling's wizard franchise. I expect Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) will appear to gain the upper hand at the end of this installment with Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and chums looking like their beaten. The massive Brit cast includes (deep breath) Helena Bonham Carter, John Hurt, Miranda Richardson, Imelda Staunton, Julie Walters and Alan Rickman.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Life Goes On
British drama, set among the Indian community, about a husband and father, leaning to cope following the sudden passing of the wife he idolised.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Silent Army
Drama about child soldiers in South Africa, as told through the eyes of a white reastauranteur who searching for his neighbours kidnapped son. Surprisingly this was the Dutch submission for last years Foreign Language Oscars.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Uncle Boonmee who Can Recall his past Lives
The least likely Palm D'Or winner in years directed by Thai auteur Apichatpong Weerasethakul looks at the final hours of the titular character as he remembers his life. Lyrical, spirtiual and in some places quite surreal. A beautiful but enigmatic experience.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Saturday, 25 September 2010
Cops and Robbers (Out this week - 24/09/10)
I don't think this weeks top film will surprise anyone, it comes with a high degree of pedigree, a top notch cast and a solidly entertaining trailer. That said there are plenty of other films out there this week that might be worth a look, from the return of Dante to black comedy from Bobcat Goldthwaite so feel free to investigate. Film of the week is Ben Affleck's The Town.
Anjanna Anjaani
The usual plotless Bollywood movie that self describes as a comedy musical romance. Appears to involves a lot of bars from reading the cast list - including a gay bar and a stripper club.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Confucius
The life story of the world's most famous philosopher lumbers into theatres having cleared up in it's native China. As much as I admire the great man himself, as well as leading actor Yun-Fat Chow, I can't see this filling up the local mulitplex.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Eat Pray Love
I think I'm overscoring Julia Robert's latest vehicle, the big screen adapatation of Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir/self-help guide but let's be honest however simperingly naff this looks there is an inbuilt audience and the travelogue aspect looks pretty. Look out for Viola Davis, Richard Jenkins and Javier Bardem in supporting roles.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Enter the Void
I want to be more interested in Gaspar Noe's latest avant garde release, following the soul of a murdered teen as he watches over his sister, but I think the artiness of the concept might make it a marmite movie.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Frozen
High-concept thriller (I know, the jokes keep coming don't they) with three faceless twenty somethings marooned on a ski-lift for no real reason other than it makes a nice set up. Watch as they slowly succumb to frostbite and insanity.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
The Hole
Joe Dante, the viosionary director behind Gremlins, has returned with this family horror about a bottomless pit (filmed in 3D so it might feel bottomless) underneath the basement of a couple of teenagers. Weird and PG rated scary stuff comes out. Bruce Dern hams it up in the supporting cast.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Peepli Live
It's that vry rare thing - a Bollywood movie that's been screened to the critics. It's story of poor farmers who threaten to commit suicide in defiance of court orders to give up their land and then become the centre of a media storm seems fascinating too. Probably worth seeing.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
The Town
It might be pure genre, but Ben Affleck's bank robber follow up to the assured and measured Gone Baby Gone is impressing critics and audiences alike with it's grounded characterisations and edge of the seat action.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○
True Legend
If you fancy some more action to go with your Chinese history lesson than Confucius is providing than this Qing dynasty revenge drama may just be for you. Man Cheuk Chiu and Michelle Yeoh are among the high kicking cast.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest
Delayed part documentary, part reenactment of George Mallory's illfated expedition up the worlds most famous mountain. Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson are among the voices.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
World's Greatest Dad
Robin Williams is the failed writer - who fakes a suicidal journal for his son after he's killed in a autoasphyixiation erotic act that goes wrong - and then finds himslef in the centre of an outpouring of unwarranted grief. Possibly the dictionary definition of black comedy.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Given that I've hardly been around the last couple of weeks it's unsurprising that I've missed the odd release but before I go into those I will just point out that last weeks Devil managed a final score of 3 on the excitometer, none of the other provisional scores have changed and there was no effect of Winter's Bone as the top film.
From 17 September 2010
I'm Still Here
I think I can be forgiven for missing this infamous faux-documentary which was only outed as a performance piece in the last couple of weeks. Joaquin Pheonix has spent the last 18 month pretending to go off the rails and trying it out as a rapper. We'll see what this actually does to his career, though, before judging it's success.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
10 September 2010
Dabangg
Corruption in the Utter Pradesh police forces is the focus for this Bollywood thriller.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Swansong
Subtitled the Story of Occi Byrne I haven't been able to find much out about this Irish drama, other than it's Irish, it had a limited release in Ireland where there were enough fans to give it an average rating of 8 on imdb. Go Occi Byrne, I say.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Saturday, 7 August 2010
A public display of grief (Out this week 06/08/10)
Tricky week to assess (and not just because I've been away from the computer for five days). I would imagine that Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz will be able to score the box office lead, but both the dance obsessed teenagers and the talking animal loving tweenies have their own counter-programming. It doesn't matter because film of the week is the limited release of Undertow.
Aisha
Quite nice looking bollywood adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma, with the social structures of medern Delhi backing the matchmaking antics of the titular heroine. As ever the lack of mainstream press support hinders my anticipation for the Bollywood product.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Cats and Dogs; The revenge of Kitty Galore
Sequel to the 2002 kids film where cats and dogs talk and are at continuous war. Why has it taken so long for the sequel to be made? Because it looks dreadful and no-one should go near it. Nick Nolte, Bette Midler and Michael Clarke Duncan are amongst those who should be ashamed.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky
I doubt you need me to tell you this but it's a biopic about the relationship between the classic fashion designer and the avant garde composer. Less starry than last years straightfoward Coco Chanel picture but should make a nice counterpoint
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Eccentrities of a Blonde Haired girl
101 year old Portuguese director shows no sign of stopping with his latst highly regarded parable based on the 19th century short story by Eca de Queiros about a love story recounted to a fellow train passenger.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Knight and Day
Tom Cruise's latest bid to resurrect his action credentials has only managed middling reviews and looks eminently missable. That said I'm probably going to watch it tonight.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Step Up 3D
There's dancing. There's an unlikely relationship between a boy and girl from opposite sides of the tracks/different dance crews. It's in 3D. Is there anything else to say other than "Ugh" (see comments).
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Undertow
A bisexual love triangle drives the plot forward in this latest magical-realist movie from Latin America. Moving look at the nature of love and the idea of letting go as Christian Mercado must come out to his homophobic fishing community in order to allow his deceased lover to rest in peace.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Wildest Dream: The Conquest of Everest
Part documentary on Conrad Anker and Leo Houlding's attempt to solve the riddle of Mallory's disappearance and part biopic on the extraordinary attempt by George Mallory to reach the summit of Everest. Totally stunning cinematography with Lima Neeson and Ralph Fiennes among the voice cast.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Friday, 16 April 2010
Out this week (16/04/2010)
It's not a classic week of releases, but it's safe to say that a number of the films coming out are generally looking good. There's also a "twin" theme which I'm very pleased to see. I'm personally going to be checking out the thinly veiled Blair film (only 3 weeks until the election) and Channing Tatum's abs, but I think the top film of the week, and this is based purely on the very high standard of reviews, will be Cemetery Junction.
Beeswax
Our first twin film, from the mumblecore movement, has identical sisters Jeannie and Lauren face major decisions in the way they go forward in their lives. It's low-key approach and lack of plot direction may turn off some viewers.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Boogie Woogie
A satire of the London Art circle, that neither appears to be funny nor terribly satirical. Probably best to go back to the Banksy doc from a few weeks ago.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Cemetery Junction
Slice of life comedrama from Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, follows three friends in Reading as they face the transition into the patterns that may will set the rest of their life. Christian Cooke is the lead character (getting a job selling insurance) but it's Ralph Fiennes as his boss and Emily Watson that are the draws for me.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
City of Life and Death
The siege of Nanjing is in vogue these days, with John Rabe coming out a couple of weeks ago. This Chinese film is certainly getting the better notices and would certainly be a great choice for anyone interested in that period of the 20th century.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Crying with Laughter
It's the dark side of Facebook as stand-up Stephen McCole falls in with a sinister ex-classmate in Edinburgh. This is a drama, not a comedy mind, as the plot revolves heavily around sexual abuse.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Dear John
Amanda Seyfried falls in love with Channing Tatum's abs in this weepie from Nicolas Sparks (The Notebook). Did well in the States, should do well here, but won't be box office champ.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
The Ghost
Pierce Brosnan plays ex-Prime Minister Adam Lang (not Tony Blair) and Ewan MacGregor his unnamed ghost writer in this thriller adapted from the Richard Harris novel and directed by Roman Polanski. Should be right up his street.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Give me your Hand
Our second film about twins, this time boys, has a very different tone as the 18 year olds hitchhike to their mothers funeral and have romantic and sexual encounters on the way (note gay interest here...)
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
The Heavy
Good timing for this British thriller about a Prime Ministerial candidate whose brother has shady links with the underworld. Oddball cast include Vinnie Jones, Stephen Rea and Christopher Lee.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Paathshala
This weeks obiligatory Bollywood entry. The not-so-promising tagline: "Teaching is a noble profession".
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Repo Men
Forest Whitaker and Jude Law play repossion men in the future, only they're not here to take your TV, they're here to take your kidney. I don't like the future.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Veda AtatUrk Farewell
Turkish biopic of the soldier and master politician who unified the Ottoman Empire. Probably no a hatchet job.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Out These Weeks (19/03/10 - 02/04/10)
Yes, I have been away, which means I have missed out on previewing a good three weeks of films (whther that's three weeks of good films is perhaps more relevant). To tell you the truth I have been deliberately lazy with this. I could have popped into an internet cafe during both of the last couple of weekends, but I just couldn't face it. The overall quality of releases has been so poor I haven't wanted to make the effort to make it to a cinema. Nevertheless I feel I must catch up and tell you my picks for the film of the week, so in reverse order:
Released on 02 April 2010:
Kick-Ass
Released on 26 March 2010:
The Blind Side
Released on 19 March 2010:
I Love You, Philip Morris
Read on for the film synopsis' which I will try to kep within one sentence - now there's a challenge.
02 April 2010
Arjunan Kadhali
Hindi love film.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
City of War
Or the story of John Rabe who ensured the survival of 250,000 Chinese peasants during the Japanese attack on Nanking in 1937-8.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Clash of the Titans
On of Antiquities more exciting tales adapted again for the big screen with Perseus slaying Medusa and the Kraken. Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Pete Postlethwaite turn up as Shiny Gods playing with us mortals.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Double Take
Rare documentary making it onto my list, as Alfred Hitchcock's obsession with doubles is deconstructions through clips and some fake reconstructions.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
How to train your Dragon
Laugh out loud cartoon from Dreamworks with a nerdy viking making friends with an injured dragon which leads to a massive culture clash.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Kakera: A Piece of our Life
Lesbian dabblings at university in this Japanese drama.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Kick-Ass
The superhero genre gets deconstructed in this tale of a adolescent who puts on a cape to fight some bad guys, the 12 year old fould mouthed violent Hit Girl is bringing the publicity, Nicolas Cage has actually picked a decent project this time.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Paiyaa
The usual mix of action and love story in this import. I'm sorry I can't be bothered with anything I'm not already interested in.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Remember Me
For the Twilight fans R Pattz tries something different. I expect someone major in the plot dies horrifically hence the title. Chris Cooper and Lena Olin have supporting roles.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Sadiyaan
Based on actual events during the partition of India and Pakistan. Still involves singing and dancing.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Samson and Delilah
Lyrical account of a developing romance between two aboriginal teenagers. Critically lauded.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
26 March 2010
Angardi Theru
Moved back again, look through previous posts to see if I had anything interesting to say last time...
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
The Blind Side
Sandra Bullock's Oscar winning performance as a uptight stinking rich white woman who adopts a homeless black teen - based on a true story. Kathy Bates co-stars.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Cok Filim Hereketler Bunlar
Turkish version of Valentine's Day - I think it's a big screen spin-off of a popular TV series in Turkey (not completely sure).
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Hum, Tum Aur Ghost
Love story played between two people with opposing views on nearly every subject. Ho hum.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
I think they call this a comedy, about a best man whose antics at the stag do are so notorious he's disinvited to the wedding.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Lad Gaya Pecha
Man falls in love wit a ghost - not your typical love story from the sub-continent.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Lion's Den
Brizilian Women's prison drama with no cliche left unturned as we are invited to watch children taken from their mother, guard brutality and incidental lesbianism.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Lourdes
Medidation on the ideas of faith and miracles that follows when a paralysed atheist is cured on a pilgrimage.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
All star sequel (Emma Thompson, Ralph Fiennes, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Maggie Smith) to the hit anti-Mary Poppins children's film. The whole cast are clearly having a ball whilst keeping a stiff upper lip in the war years.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Nightwatching
Peter Greenaway direct Martin Freeman's cock in this dramatisation of Rembrandt's life around the time he was painting The Night Watch.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
No One Knows about Persian Cats
The Persian Cats are an Iranian pop group trying to maintain their identity and the band where the idea of Western inspired music is considered sacriligious.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Not the Messiah (He's a very Naughty Boy)
Concert film of the oratoria based on Monty Python's Life of Brian as performed in the Royal Albert Hall in 2009. Probably not as good as the orginal film.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Perrier's Bounty
Cillian Murphy is on the run from loan shark gangster Brendan Gleason, accompanied by his coffee guzzling father Jim Broadbent and romantic interest Jodie Whittaker - better than your average gangster pic.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Romantik Komedi
If you couldn't guess from the title it's Turkish, and if I hadn't already described another film above as the Turkish Valentine's Day I'd be using that line here - so now I'm stumped.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Shank
No, not the gay happy slappers film which came out last year, but a completely unrelated movie about teenage gangs in a apocalptic vision of a future Britain.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Storm
An attempt to dramatise the legalistic procedures and diplomatic pressures when trying a mass murderer through the European Courts.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
19 March 2010
Bounty Hunter
Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston both demonstrate how unfair the Hollywood system is that let's talentless shmucks like them headline. And they drag Cathy Moriaty down with them.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Ditching
More post-apocalyptic angst, this time set in Northern Ireland.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Dorothy
Irish suspense movie involving psychiatrists and ghosts and false allegations of child abuse.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Happy Ever Afters
Delayed comedy about mix-ups at two weddings taking place in the same venue.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
House of the Devil
Now that irony is dead teenagers can once again babysit in scary houses and get picked on by malevolent spirits.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
I Love You, Philip Morris
Jim Carrey goes gay and falls in love with his cell mate Ewan MacGregor in this ribald comedy from the writing team behind Bad Santa.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
My Last Five Girlfriends
We are treated to a parade of the last five girlfriends of our protagonist as he tries to figure what he's doing wrong. The clue's in the title.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Old Dogs
John Travolta and Robin Williams together at last. Naturally the film is a pile of rotting flesh which no amount of cameos with Ann-Margret and Matt Dillon can save.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Salvage
British suspense actioner as a contained is washed up in a sleepy cul-de-sac making the hitherto quiet neighbours a violent and distustful mob.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Scouting Book for Boys
Thomas Turgoose continues to shine in this film about a teenager falling in love with his best friend as he hides her from here distructive family.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
The Spy Next Door
Or Jackie Chan babysitting in this kids comedy. Given the righ audience I expect this will do well.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Staten Island
Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio and Seymour Cassell play a septic tank cleaner, a deaf mute and a mob boss in the titular New York suburb. I don't know which is which.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Zonad
A rehab escapee manages to persuade a naive Irish Community that he's a visitor from outer space.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
And two films missed from 12 March 2010
The Ape
Norwegian film about a man waking up to find his entire life has been erased.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Ay Lav Yu
Amazingly this is a Turkish film that manages to cast Steve Guttenburg and Mariel Hemingway as a visiting US coupl. I didn't even know Steve was still alive.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Ralph Fiennes
Happy Birthday to
Ralph Fiennes
47 today
Ralph (or Rafe to you and me) likes to keep himself busy. In between being him who mustn't be named he's managed to sneak off for showy cameos in classy independent fare like The Hurt Locker and In Bruges. Mind you he's been lining up big pay packets for the next couple of years - Nanny McPhee, Clash of the Titans shudder.
