Horror of the trenches (Out this week - 13/01/12)

Last week the Cruisemeister held on to the number one spot and Meryl Thatcher was the highest new entry at number 3 on the box office chart, so I'm feeling a little smug - what with my first box office predictions from last weekend being right. This weekend I'm seeing the film that I've chosen as top film and I suspect Steven Spielberg's World War One epic will deservedly take it's place at the top of the charts. If you're looking for something less mainstream there's Michael Fassbender shagging everything in sight and the collapse of the financial services system, both of which look excellent. Please note that we are also starting the year with our first complete dud, earning just one blob, but you'll have to find out what it is. First though, the film of the week is War Horse.



War Horse



Steven Spielberg proves he's a master tear jerker once again, and I mean that as a good thing, with his deliberately Fordian adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's classic children's story. I cry watching the trailer (thanks to John Williams and Benedict Cumberbatch) so goodness knows if I'll make it through the screening later today. Emily Watson also stars.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○





Margin Call



Writer-director J. C. Chandor has won plenty of plaudits for his cinematic debut, with the first significant narrative based on the economic collapse in 2008. Kevin Spacey, Zachary Quinto, Stanley Tucci, Jeremy Irons, Mary McDonnell and a dozen other recognisable stars form part of the chain of command trying to identify and ultimately offload toxic debt in this David Mamet like view of investment banking.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○

Shame



The final of the three big hitters from this week. Turner prize-winner Steve McQueen's long hard look at sex addiction with Michael Fassbender as a seemingly high-flying executive who's life unravels as his addiction slips completely out of control. Carey Mulligan is his needy sister.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○

Tatsumi



Animated biopic, which seems unlikely, until you discovers it's about Manga pioneer Yoshihiro Tatsumi, whose short stories, also included in the narrative in part created the medium of Japanese graphic artistry.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Useful Life



Interesting addition to the current theme of movies about/informed by movies (The Artist, Drive etc.) this Uruguayan picture follows a recently unemployed art-house projectionist filling his days unable to go to the cinema. I expect it's a narrative we could all relate to.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Kartalus Son Darak



Turkish comedy, with a sextet of women trying to cheer up the psychologist who's just moved into their apartment block. It's a limited audience, but should do well in it's small market.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Nanban



Tamil comedy of which, as is traditional in these things, I know nothing about the plot or characters, other than the poster's very bright and the trailer's quite fast. Nanban is literally translated as friend.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Vettai



Police soap opera from India with two brothers, one of whom is a detective the other fighting crime outside of the establishment. Could be an interesting look at vigilantilism, but probably just descends into familial homilies.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Darkest Hour



Yes, it's Chris Gorak's Moscow set alien invasion movie which garners the first all-important one blob excitometer rating. Saving the budget by having invisible aliens isn't so much the issue as saving the budget by having a weak script and uninvolving characters. Almost so bad it's unmissable.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●○○○○○○○○○