Saturday, 25 February 2012

Logical conclusion of Lansley's health reforms (Out this week - 24/02/12)

It's another exceptionally busy week again, with 13 releases competing for our bucks this weekend, although as always it's worth noting most of these films look rubbish or at least completely forgettable. Honestly will anyone be talking up this weeks Denzel vehicle in the year end best of lists. Talking of best ofs it's the Oscars this weekend and many pundits are predicted a near clean sweep for French silent movie The Artist, it's slightly apt that this weekend we have the release of one film that was cruelly ignored by the Academy and another that could well be bothering the voters next year, especially BAFTA with it's high calibre prestige cast list, indeed I can think of no excuse for The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel not to reign forth as the film of the week.

By the way the post title references the current health bill making it's way through Parliament that may open up more competition into the NHS. The conclusion being outsourced off-shore nursing care.

Anyhoo, last week I was right in my box office predictions with Woman in Black holding the top spot and Nic Cage being the highest New Entry, surprisingly though the only new film in the top ten. This weekend we have to assume the double whammy of Dame's Judi and Maggie will charm the older crowd and when combined with a 426 cinema release (58 more than it's biggest rival) that Exotic will be box office champ too.

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

It's a comedy staring some of Britain's best loved movie stars (Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, Dev Patel) set around an old people's home in India. It therefore pulls a huge amount of buttons for the UK's cinema-going public, and should do blockbuster figures on this side of the pond - note it's only getting a limited release in the US in May. I really don't understand the difference between the British and American audiences.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○

Read on for a rundown of the rest of this weeks releases and a plethora of exciting trailers.


Perfect counterprogramming this weekend sees Woody Harrelson falling apart as a violent angry cop seeing his world burst open at the seems following filmed abuse of a suspect. Sigourney Weaver and Ned Beatty are among the classy supporting players in this James Ellroy scripted thriller.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○

Safe House

I hear from American reviewers that this latest Ryan Reynolds vehicle is perfectly OK, does nothing flashy or genre-bending but does pass the time. Of course Ryan's hopelessly outclassed by Denzel Washington as the CIA traitor he needs to keep alive. Brendan Gleeson, Vera Farmiga and Sam Shepard are among his suspicious superiors.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○


Am I surprised that Melanie Laurent, star of Inglorious Basterds and Beginners has turned her skills to directing. Not really. Nor am I surprised at the whimsical quirky tone that some of the romantic elements of the trailer imply. I am surprised there seems to be a coma induced infidelity plot though, you don't see many of those.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Red Dog

As hokey and silly as this true life Aussie shaggy dog tale seems I suspect there's an audience out there for it's homespun mythology and likeable characters. Not sure why Josh Lucas has the main role (excluding the eponymous Koko) but I guess he's a name that garners some recognition. Apparently Keisha Castle-Hughes is in there somewhere too. True fact I was part of the focus group that chose the poster.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Black Gold

Historic part European part Qatari release that may usher in a dawn of Middle Eastern blockbusters, only slightly undermined by the casting of Mark Strong and Antonio Banderas as warring Sheikhs in post World War I America.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Blood Car

Fun little premise from this strange American indie about a car that runs on blood. I expect the comedic team behind it are an acquired taste so it could build a cult following. Or be forgotten in 6 weeks.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Gelecek Uzun Surer

Roughly translated to Future Lasts Forever. Or it at least appears to in this elegant existential Turkish drama about a PHD student who wanders off the beaten track and can't seem to find her way back.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Jodi Breakers

If this romantic comedy about a gigolo who's paid to break up relationships by suspicious relatives then falls for one of his marks seems familiar that's probably because we had a French version of this, Heartbreaker, just two years ago.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

One for the Money

Do you remember when Katherine Heigl was all set to be a huge star? Neither do I, but apparently post Knocked Up everyone thought her career was all set. Unfortunately it's been down hill all the way since then and don't expect this laugh-free trailer to help her stem the tide no matter how much she persuades Debbie Reynolds to ham it up as her Gran.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Tere Naal Love Ho Gaya

Bollywood producers seem able to wring romantic situations from the most unlikely set-up, including, in this case Stockholm syndrome. I expect the girl will turn out much better at being in control than her kidnapper, enough to make the premise more palatable.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


It's been so long since Danny Dyer last had a cinematic release I can't remember what it was. This time he's playing somewhat against type as a violent sociopathic serial killer on the run from Broadmoor. Will be in DVD bargain bins on Monday.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Naachle London

Odd curiosity a completely British film in Hindi, in the style and design of a Bollywood romantic comedy and incredibly proud of it's roots. I'll be very interested to see how this does in the box office statistics.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Readers with a long memory will of course know what's coming, but for those of you who don't I sort of have a thing for Danny Dyer. He's arrogant and in many ways the a prototype of the problems with modern Britain but I'll always be up for a quick BJ behind Lidl. Just feast you're eyes on my traditional picture of Danny in the buff.

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