Foot fetishists heaven (Out this week - 11/05/12)

It's another close week with two movies vying for my attention for the top choice at British cinemas this weekend. In the blue corner is Tim Burton's sixth collaboration with Johnny Depp, the big screen tongue in cheek adaptation of a TV (not-quite-so) classic versus a European musical starring a bona fide legend. Not to mention the exploitation, mumblecore and arthouse fare snapping at the heels of my two top choices. In fact I'd go as far to say whilst this isn't a classic week of releases by any standard it's probably the most interesting and consistent line-up in over a month so definitely worth exploring the options available. For myself I am once again going to champion the film I won't see, showing in just 4 cinemas nationwide - the closest of which is 40 miles away - it's the Runs like a Gay film of the Week: The Beloved.



Last week Avengers Assemble held onto the top spot, slipping an impressive 49%, but surprisingly American Pie: Reunion took only 20% less which seems to indicate the superhero collective is eminently beatable this weekend, and Burton and Depp are in prime position to do this, given the general love out there for their work on both sides of the Atlantic. I expect Dark Shadows to be the number 1 film this weekend - should go and see it to help it on it's way.

The Beloved

Set partly in the late 60's and partly in the modern day - a curious trend for todays releases - this French musical stars Ludivine Sagnier and Catherine Deneuve as a shoe seller who dapples with prostitution and the romantic entanglements she gets into throughout her life.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○

Read on for vampires, modern families and boobs as well as all of this weeks trailers. Go on - you know you want to take a peek.





These boots were made for walking, indeed.

Dark Shadows



Depp and Burton are clearly having a ball in part homage part fish out of water comedy that appears to revel in the poor production values of the original TV series, whilst somehow proving Burton is the most style concious director working today. Unsure of tone in the trailer I don't know how many will flock out but I do foresee a cult following of it's own in the future.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○

Cafe de Flore



Jean-Marc Vallee's follow-up to the forgettable Young Victoria dissects the romantic construct of soul-mates around a modern day couple struggling in their marriage and a kids with Down's Syndrome in the 60's. Expect the two stories to intersect by the end.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Jeff, Who lives at Home



The Duplass brothers are almost certainly the most well known graduates from the Mumblecore movement and with Jeff their virtually hitting the mainstream. Jason Segal is the titular Jeff, still living in his Mum (Susan Sarandon)'s basement and waiting for fate to lead him where to go with his life.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Piranha 3DD



What 4 blobs for this piece of exploitation rubbish that I personally wouldn't go within 100 m of seeing? Well, yes, I realise I'm not the target audience but there are plenty of 15 year old boys who will love it, Kim Newman says it ain't bad, and the cameos include David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd and Gary Busey!

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

All in good Time



British comedy (based on Bill Naughton's The Family Way but with a change in the ethnicities) that exploits the obvious comedy of a pair of newlyweds living with the in-laws and how that affects the consummation (or lack thereof) of their marriage. Should please all audiences.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Faust



Supposedly the fourth of Aleksandr Sukurov's films about powerful men turned to evil - although following Hitler, Stalin and HIrohito it's a departure because of both the fictional character and the setting of Geothe's classic. Bound to get the art-house crowd in a frenzy.


Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

How I Spent my Summer Vacation



Quick recap on Mel Gibson: still persona non-grata across most of the Western world, so much so that his latest has gone straight to video in the States under the title Get the Gringo. He can still open a film over here and this will probably crack the top ten thanks to a wisecracking trailer showing Gibbo still has the action chops in this film set almost exclusively in a massive Mexican prison.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Mitsuko Delivers



Japanese movie about the power of positivity and how generally people are too nice, all seem through the prism of a eight and a half month pregnant girl. Which sounds sweet but hardly compelling.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Charlie Casanova



Long-time Hollyoaks actor Emmett Scanlan finally sees the release of the film he made just before signing with the early evening soap. From the Irish upper classes his character starts to lie his life purely through chance (by picking cards) after the accidental death of girl in a hit and run accident.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Kalakalappu @ Masala Cafe



Indeterminably long and uninvolving trailer for this latest Tamil language release of which I know nothing about except the trailer music sounds like it's been ripped from a mid 90's Nintendo game.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Taur Mittran Di



Bollywood thriller about two friends who fall out, presumably over a girl, and then seem to want to kill each other. Seems quite dramatic but I don't know why this fairly high profile option doesn't have an IMDb page yet?

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○