Saturday, 16 June 2012

All that way for a Haircut (Out this week - 15/06/12)

We're breaking new ground this weekend with unprecedented levels of choice in cinemas - in London at any rate - with 16 new releases vying for audiences. Of course many of them have extremely limited openings and won't be making much impact with audiences regardless of the critical response. Don't be deterred by that as there's lots of goodies around if you're prepared to go the extra mile for them. From intrigues in the Danish court to child protection there's some significant foreign language releases as well as the crowdpleasers which could be worth the ticket price. I'm going somewhere in the middle, avoiding the sure-fire hits and the single venue openings and plumping for the strange looking collaboration between one of cinemas biggest heartthrobs and the king of venereal horror. The Runs like a Gay film of the week is Cosmopolis.

Last weekend I was correct in assuming the top three box office titles would remain the same and, although Snow White slipped behind the Men in Black, Prometheus clung to the top spot like a acid-blooded penis-snake to a lost biologist's arm. I made a fatal flaw in over-estimating Plan B's cross-over appeal and the concept Ill Manors struggled, only just making it into the top ten, instead date friendly horror flick The Pact took an average takings three times higher, although I suspect only one of those films will be remembered in 6 months time. This weekend Ridley Scott will probably be just about hang on to the lead and whilst I'd like to cheer on plucky British sporting heroes in Fast Girls I think the karaoke sounds of 80's that is Rock of Ages will get the lions share of the newbies.


It's been barely four months since David Cronenberg last film was released - the staid but solid Dangerous Mind - so it's a little surprising to see his follow-up in cinemas so soon. Until you learn it's filmed almost exclusively in a limo as R. Pattz off Twilight crosses town for a haircut. I'll let you know whether it's as absurd as that synopsis sounds later in the week.

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Read on for strutting stars, mad kings and blind mediums as well as all of this weeks trailers after the jump.

Or as bonkers as the trailer suggests. Warning - there are flashes in this trailer.

Rock of Ages

I'm a big fan of Adam Shankman's film adaptation of Hairspray so in theory I should be queuing round the block for his second big screen musical, and yet... There's something about the self-referential format that seemed charming in the popping colours of the 60's but appears to be awfully self-important here. The terrific cast which includes Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx is impressive though so maybe I'm missing the point.

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Royal Affair

Danish historical romp which surprised everyone at the Berlin festival by winning best screenplay and best actor for Mikkel Boe Folsgaard as the crazy monarch whose wife carries on with progressive Machiavellian - in that isn't a contradiction in terms - Mads Mikkelsen.

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One of my ex-partner's was a Social worker in a children's team and I'm sure some of things he used to share with me might be reflected in this procedural semi-documentary from France about the Police team sent in to protect children in danger. Both the lows and the highs and the occasional moments of office politics. Should be worth catching.

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Red Lights

Rodrigo Cortes came to everyone's attention when he placed Ryan Reynolds in a box for Buried and whilst his parapsychology thriller follow-up might not have as high a concept he's drawn a trio of heavyweight performers (Cillian Murphy, Sigourney Weaver and Robert De Niro as a blind spoon bender) but whilst everyone agrees the low key, fraud debunking first half is great the telekinesis filled final act is splitting audiences.

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Desi Romeos

I apologise for the dreadful sound recording for this Punjab trailer. Honestly, you might think they didn't want an audience. I think it's about a band coming to melt the hearts of female audiences everywhere, but I can't be sure.

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Fast Girls

It's surprising that the only film to capitalise on London's forthcoming turn as the Olympic host comes from multi-hyphenate Noel Clarke, although maybe not given his drive and ambition. The story may be predictable - four girls must overcome their difficulties to win the women's 4x400 relay - but even the trailer has the necessary feelgood, triumph over adversity vibe.

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Ferrari ki Sawaari

Now admit it, there's no way on reading the title of this Bollowood release that you thought it was about a young boy searching for a cricketting hero and finding himself in the batting order at Lords. Don't worry there is a sup-plot about a missing iconic red motor.

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Turkish psychodrama in which a mysterious tramp arrives in a village, immediately saves a boy from drowning and is then treated alternately as a saint and a demon. Then the world starts to go mad. Ambitious, certainly.

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Late September

No trailer for this British curio, unsurprising given the nature of the piece. Using improvisation, natural light and long wide takes Jon Sanders' movies explores the cracks in a 40 year old marriage over one long painful weekend.

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[Rec]3 Genesis

I'm not sure if this Spanish horror threequel counts as a new release as I understand it was only showing in one obscure cinema for two days in the week. Still it'll be out on DVD in September so maybe they'll be some more showings in the meantime. You can tell how little I care about the plot that takes the zombies from the last two out of the block and into a wedding party.

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Requiem for a Killer

It wouldn't be a packed week without a French thriller, and so Melanie Laurent is here to icily dispatch all her opponents in this game of cat, mouse and hired assassin. Not sure where the opera bits come in - are we meant to believe she sings packed out concerts by day and then murders by night?

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The Squad

Nine Columbian soldiers head up a mountain to fight guerillas. Only nothing could prepare them for what they's find up there. I'm guessing it's devil worshipping ghouls and most of them won't get out alive - but then I have just watched the trailer.

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Please make it stop! Cheap digimation and Barry Manilow soundtrack aside there's a reason why this extended commercial break with Charlie Sheen and Hilary Duff hasn't been released in the States. Because it's rubbish. Miss it the UK on one day only. Vue cinema chain - I am ashamed of you.

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Murattu Kalai

It's saying something about a kollywood release when not only is there no imdb page but the closest I can find to a trailer is five minutes of two camera monologues. Please don't feel you have to watch it - I didn't. I hope something actually happens in the 2 hour long full version.

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Thousand Kisses Deep

Ham fisted looking thriller that seems to have an exciting cast (it's good to see Emilia Fox stretching anyway) but once you watch the trailer the whole plot seems to fall into place and it's tough to keep an interest.

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