I don't give out many really high scores on the Runs Like a Gay Excitometer, I generally like to keep it quite low, after all there have been over 300 releases so far this year and choices have to be make, so the median average score for this year is currently 3, with only one in nine releases getting over 5, and so far only four getting a coveted 9 blobs. They were Oscar candidates The Descendants and Carnage and comic book behemoth The Dark Knight Rises all arriving with plenty of fanfare and international expectation. This week sees a very different film hitting that similar highpoint, indeed it's rather snuck up on me too. With a bevvy of high quality reviews and a strong cast breaking from their comfort zone it hard to not get excited and Canadian actress cum director Sarah Polley second feature, following the devastating Away from Her, simply has to be seen, gaining the runs like a gay film of the week approval it's Take this Waltz.
I think Seth MacFarlane probably really dislikes me, for two weeks in a row I have highly underestimated the box office potential of Ted and it second week drop was indeed less steep than The Dark Knight Rises leaving Mark Wahlberg and his belching toy still on the top of the charts. Sorry Seth, won't happen again. Meanwhile dance movie Step Up: Miami Heat was the highest new entry at 3, but it's performance was spectacularly bad, 60% less tickets than the previous entry in the body popping franchise, stand by for straight of DVD follow-ups. This week sees 2, potentially 3, US chart toppers battling it out in UK cinemas. I imagine Expendables 2 will end in clear third, mainly because of the certificate and the cheating previews of Brave and Bourne Legacy both of whom opened Monday. I suspect Pixar, will ultimately take the crown with it's savvy holiday opening strategy, but this could be an exciting weekend to follow.
Take this Waltz
Michelle Williams stars in this low-key modern tale of temptation and fidelity, whether she leaves her loving but staid husband (Seth Rogen in a piece of genius casting) for hunky rickshaw driver Luke Kirby is the central plot but if Polley brings half of the resonance of her last film then it will be about so much more. Unmissable indie drama.
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Admittedly it has indie written all over it, but I do wonder how it all ends which is a great start for this type of movie.
Brave
As ever with Pixar the animation looks sumptious and genre changing, with Merida's hair in particular bouncing out of the screen in the feminist fairy tale. Although the first tendrils of Disney involvement, there's more than a touch of Mulan in the plot and Pixar first female protagonist could definitely sit in the feminist end of Disney Princesses. The fine Brit cast includes Kelly MacDonald in the lead, Billy Connelly, Emma Thompson and Julie Walters.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
The Bourne Legacy
I've already caught up with the latest Bourne movie, hopefully I'll get the review out in the next few days, and you pretty much get what everyone was expecting. An average action adventure with Jeremy Renner and Tony Gilroy merely keeping the seats warm for Damon and Greengrass. The trailers seem to have worked though, it shot straight to the top last weekend in the US.
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The Bird
It's time for a bit of French existentialism in Yves Caumon's Venice hit. A secretive kitchen worker learns to open up her life to the possibility of romance and friendship after finding a pigeon trapped in her apartment.
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Expendables 2
Sylvester Stallone assembles an even batshit crazier band of 80's rejects for the follow-up to his 2010 hit. Jean Claude Van Damme shows up as villain Vilain and chuck Norris is on fine form to save a few asses. That said it still looks utterly forgettable pulp and the jokes drop like lead balloons over the trailer.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
The Wedding Video
Pretty much relying on the Peep Show audience to turn up in droves this nice looking Brit comedy will probably fall between the cracks before a decent run on DVD sales. Robert Webb is the groom, Lucy Punch the Bride and Rufus Hound the best man employing a professional film crew to follow the wedding preparations.
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The Devil's Business
Reviews of Sean Hogan's low budget horror have rated it reasonably highly, even if it owes a massive debt to last years Kill List. Two hitmen are despatched to dispose a particular thorn in a local crime bosses plan, only when they find a Satanist alter in his garage the job turns out to be more complex than was originally conceived.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Ek The Tiger
Globe-trotting Bollywood espionage actioner with significant funding from the US, should do well across the international markets thanks to it cross-appeal trailer and stars Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif. Tiger is Khan's undercover codename.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Dancing to it's own tune (Out this week - 18/08/12)
Friday, 29 July 2011
It's a Big World out There (Out this week - 29/07/11)
I won't be going to the cinema this weekend, frankly I'm exhausted it's been a heck of a week what with rehearsing, classes and the 24/7 fringe festival. Not to mention having to do "real work" during the day. However if I were to go the decision might be a tough one, there's a couple of interesting looking foreign language releases and a new Superhero is coming to town, but in the end I'd have to choose, as the RLAG film of the week, Arrietty.
Arrietty
Studio Ghibli take the unusual step of adapting an existing, European story (Mary Norton's "The Borrowers") then still imbue the film with a unique Japanese feel and the traditional acceptance of the absurd. Saoirse Ronan and Mark Strong lead the voice cast as daughter and father in a family of miniature people living behind the skirting board.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Captain America: The First Avenger
I have heard some great things about Joe Johnston's contribution to the pre-Avengers story, with many US critics calling it the best superhero movie of the summer. Chris Evans certainly looks hot in the trailers, and backed with a serious and exciting cast that includes Tommy Lee Jones, Stanley Tucci and Samuel L. Jackson what's not to like.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Light Thief
A rare example of Krggyzstani cinema that examines the stature of ordinary technicians who restore electricity in the turmoil since the break-up of the Soviet Union. It helps that the main character seems a bit of a happy go lucky type.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Poetry
Low-key existential Japanese movie about an old woman contemplating the meaning of life as she comes wearily to the end of hers. Heartbreaking and ultra-real this may still test the patience of most casual cinema-goers.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Better Life
Slightly buzzed about immigration drama following an illegal gardener, Damien Bichir, in East L.A. trying to do right by his son whilst avoiding the criminal gangs and the authorities. Looks promising, but not exceptional.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Zookeeper
Given it's poor pedigree and mediocre box office performance in the US it's hard to see why this Kevin James vehicle deserves 4 blobs. To be frank it probably doesn't however it does boast Nick Nolte as a gorilla as well as Sylvester Stallone and Cher as a pair of Lions. Sounds like prime crap at least.
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Horrid Henry: The Movie
There's clearly a market for this big screen translation of the very British kids stories, and no doubt it will clear up during the school holidays, but I don't think it's for me. What persuaded Anjelica Huston to play the stern headmistress I'll never know.
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Our Day will Come
Bonkers looking French pic starring Vincent Cassell as a ginger therapist who runs away with one of his patients (mmm ethical issues there) to find freedom in Ireland - the land of the red heads.
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Jihne Mera Dil Luteya
Bollywood love triangle with two best friends falling for the same girl at Patiala University. Cue comedy hijinks and much singing and dancing.
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Friday, 20 August 2010
Who is Salt, What? Is she? (Out this week - 20/08/10)
It's an action packed week of high octane entertainment whichever way you look. In fact there's little chance of making it to a cinema without geting involved in a gun fight or a massive chase sequence whether you're running from big muscles, big fish or big lips. I'm torn beween Jolie and Stallone for the box office campionship but I imagine the former has more cross appeal and will therefore get more couples could be a close one. In terms of my choice for film of the week be aware that I'm writing this one week in advance so the score for a certain fish film is yet to be finalised and I've heard rumours that the latest Danny Dyer pic (Basement) is to be rushed into screens but I've yet to get any official confirmation. That said it's highly unlikely that any of the films will look better than Salt.
The Expendables
Sylvester Stallone has assembled "the most awesome action cast ever" for this predicatable CIA backed drug lord revenge action flick and much has been made of the Planet Hollywood reunion - personally I'd be more interested in seeing Greenwich Village alumni Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke as snarling villian and wisecraking mechanic respectively.
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The Illusionist
Based on an unfilmed script by genius French comedian Jacques Tati, Sylvain Chomet follow-up to the madcap Triplets of Belleville uses the same animation style and is bound to pick upsome serious fans worldwide for it's sly visual humour.
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Marmaduke
The kind of talking animal pictue that makes Kitty Galorelook like a masterpiece in cinematic art. Run away and pray Owen Wilson can't sniff you out. Also starring William H. Macy.
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Mother
Joon-ho Bong's latest movie takes a long hard look at the relationship between Mother and Son following accusations of murder. Hye-ja Kim's performance as the titular matriach is rumoured to be excellent.
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Piranha 3D
It promises much in the way of bitey fish and many semi-naked women. I doubt there's much space for a coherent plot or "fleshed out" characters, but then why would any of the intended audience be looking for that. Richard Dreyfuss and Elisabeth Shue prove they can't get any other work.
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Salt
Anjelina Jolie is accused of being Russian agent and then goes on the run - now that just looks horribly guilty. I don't believe any amount of disguise would hide Jolie's beauty but I think I'll be going to the nearest multiplex to see.
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I know it's not confirmed - but I wouldn't want to miss the chance of taking a good look at Danny Dyer.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Sylvester Stallone

Happy Birthday to
Sylvester Stallone
64 today
Let's be honest, if you were looking for a bunch of badass mercenaries to keep you safe this summer it wouldn't be the smug A-Team, the weird Predators or the highly prophetic Losers. Hands down it would be The Expendables with Stallone directing, writing and starring you know any loose drug cartels are going to toast by the end.