We're breaking new ground this weekend with unprecedented levels of choice in cinemas - in London at any rate - with 16 new releases vying for audiences. Of course many of them have extremely limited openings and won't be making much impact with audiences regardless of the critical response. Don't be deterred by that as there's lots of goodies around if you're prepared to go the extra mile for them. From intrigues in the Danish court to child protection there's some significant foreign language releases as well as the crowdpleasers which could be worth the ticket price. I'm going somewhere in the middle, avoiding the sure-fire hits and the single venue openings and plumping for the strange looking collaboration between one of cinemas biggest heartthrobs and the king of venereal horror. The Runs like a Gay film of the week is Cosmopolis.
Last weekend I was correct in assuming the top three box office titles would remain the same and, although Snow White slipped behind the Men in Black, Prometheus clung to the top spot like a acid-blooded penis-snake to a lost biologist's arm. I made a fatal flaw in over-estimating Plan B's cross-over appeal and the concept Ill Manors struggled, only just making it into the top ten, instead date friendly horror flick The Pact took an average takings three times higher, although I suspect only one of those films will be remembered in 6 months time. This weekend Ridley Scott will probably be just about hang on to the lead and whilst I'd like to cheer on plucky British sporting heroes in Fast Girls I think the karaoke sounds of 80's that is Rock of Ages will get the lions share of the newbies.
Cosmopolis
It's been barely four months since David Cronenberg last film was released - the staid but solid Dangerous Mind - so it's a little surprising to see his follow-up in cinemas so soon. Until you learn it's filmed almost exclusively in a limo as R. Pattz off Twilight crosses town for a haircut. I'll let you know whether it's as absurd as that synopsis sounds later in the week.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○
Read on for strutting stars, mad kings and blind mediums as well as all of this weeks trailers after the jump.
Or as bonkers as the trailer suggests. Warning - there are flashes in this trailer.
Rock of Ages
I'm a big fan of Adam Shankman's film adaptation of Hairspray so in theory I should be queuing round the block for his second big screen musical, and yet... There's something about the self-referential format that seemed charming in the popping colours of the 60's but appears to be awfully self-important here. The terrific cast which includes Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx is impressive though so maybe I'm missing the point.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Royal Affair
Danish historical romp which surprised everyone at the Berlin festival by winning best screenplay and best actor for Mikkel Boe Folsgaard as the crazy monarch whose wife carries on with progressive Machiavellian - in that isn't a contradiction in terms - Mads Mikkelsen.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Polisse
One of my ex-partner's was a Social worker in a children's team and I'm sure some of things he used to share with me might be reflected in this procedural semi-documentary from France about the Police team sent in to protect children in danger. Both the lows and the highs and the occasional moments of office politics. Should be worth catching.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Red Lights
Rodrigo Cortes came to everyone's attention when he placed Ryan Reynolds in a box for Buried and whilst his parapsychology thriller follow-up might not have as high a concept he's drawn a trio of heavyweight performers (Cillian Murphy, Sigourney Weaver and Robert De Niro as a blind spoon bender) but whilst everyone agrees the low key, fraud debunking first half is great the telekinesis filled final act is splitting audiences.
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Desi Romeos
I apologise for the dreadful sound recording for this Punjab trailer. Honestly, you might think they didn't want an audience. I think it's about a band coming to melt the hearts of female audiences everywhere, but I can't be sure.
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Fast Girls
It's surprising that the only film to capitalise on London's forthcoming turn as the Olympic host comes from multi-hyphenate Noel Clarke, although maybe not given his drive and ambition. The story may be predictable - four girls must overcome their difficulties to win the women's 4x400 relay - but even the trailer has the necessary feelgood, triumph over adversity vibe.
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Ferrari ki Sawaari
Now admit it, there's no way on reading the title of this Bollowood release that you thought it was about a young boy searching for a cricketting hero and finding himself in the batting order at Lords. Don't worry there is a sup-plot about a missing iconic red motor.
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Kosmos
Turkish psychodrama in which a mysterious tramp arrives in a village, immediately saves a boy from drowning and is then treated alternately as a saint and a demon. Then the world starts to go mad. Ambitious, certainly.
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Late September
No trailer for this British curio, unsurprising given the nature of the piece. Using improvisation, natural light and long wide takes Jon Sanders' movies explores the cracks in a 40 year old marriage over one long painful weekend.
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[Rec]3 Genesis
I'm not sure if this Spanish horror threequel counts as a new release as I understand it was only showing in one obscure cinema for two days in the week. Still it'll be out on DVD in September so maybe they'll be some more showings in the meantime. You can tell how little I care about the plot that takes the zombies from the last two out of the block and into a wedding party.
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Requiem for a Killer
It wouldn't be a packed week without a French thriller, and so Melanie Laurent is here to icily dispatch all her opponents in this game of cat, mouse and hired assassin. Not sure where the opera bits come in - are we meant to believe she sings packed out concerts by day and then murders by night?
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The Squad
Nine Columbian soldiers head up a mountain to fight guerillas. Only nothing could prepare them for what they's find up there. I'm guessing it's devil worshipping ghouls and most of them won't get out alive - but then I have just watched the trailer.
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Foodfight
Please make it stop! Cheap digimation and Barry Manilow soundtrack aside there's a reason why this extended commercial break with Charlie Sheen and Hilary Duff hasn't been released in the States. Because it's rubbish. Miss it the UK on one day only. Vue cinema chain - I am ashamed of you.
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Murattu Kalai
It's saying something about a kollywood release when not only is there no imdb page but the closest I can find to a trailer is five minutes of two camera monologues. Please don't feel you have to watch it - I didn't. I hope something actually happens in the 2 hour long full version.
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Thousand Kisses Deep
Ham fisted looking thriller that seems to have an exciting cast (it's good to see Emilia Fox stretching anyway) but once you watch the trailer the whole plot seems to fall into place and it's tough to keep an interest.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Saturday, 16 June 2012
All that way for a Haircut (Out this week - 15/06/12)
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Tom Cruise
Happy Birthday to
Tom Cruise
49 today
As Cruise edges closer to his half century it seems the career is moving into another phase, over the last ten years he appeared to be trying to do less action flicks and more character work (even if some of these were more successful than others), but over the next couple of years the career seems to be splitting between ever more preposterous thrillers and even a comedy-musical. I hope that it's just a temporary thing, like most actors with a quality CV I hope Cruise will get his mojo back.
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
Knight and Day
2010. Dir: James Mangold. Starring: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Jordi Mollà and Viola Davis. ●●○○○
Oh, Tom. I wanted this to be good - I really wanted to enjoy this throwback to cheesy thrillers of the 60s. I as hoping to be able to jump on the couch with unbridled joy at your fun loving performance. Instead I can't help thinking what a wasted opportunity it was and how Knight and Day tried far too hard and ended up being loved by no-one.
The plot, such as it is, involves hapless classic car restorer Cameron Diaz (I know) getting caught up in rogue CIA operative Tom Cruise's plan to evade the spook community and transplant a convenient MacGuffin to nerdy scientist Paul Dano. (On a side issue does anyone remember when scientists stopped being older guys that are easily distracted and became younger guys who are perpetually nervy?) We then follow our mismatched duo from plane set piece to train set piece from New York to the Azores to the Alps. As I sit and type this I can't even remember all the locations or why...
Therein lies the problem. Hitchcock used to be able to take a flimsy excuse to set an Cary Grant sized everyman on a trip across the globe and it would all be so much fun that the reasons didn't matter. Did anyone really care why Cary was heading North by Northwest? Of course not, we just fell in love with the character and wanted to follow him all the way.
Neither of our leads here can even come close to matching Cary Grant (a tall order, I admit). Cameron comes off better, her natural comic timing aiding vastly with the continuous barrage of silly action scenes. Indeed her expressions when leaning over the back set and trying to drive a car or facing off against a hit man are the only moments of the film that made me stifle a giggle. Cruise comes off a lot worse, the fact that the character always appears to be in control is not endearing at all (and don't get me started on his habit of drugging Diaz) and whilst his overplaying of the off-the-wall elements come close to banishing the sofa-leaping Cruise from our sub-conscious the tongue in cheek feel of the part seems too calculated for that to really work.
If the leads are underwritten then the supporting characters really have problems with the two main baddies being particularly nonthreatening - at no point do you imagine anything other than a happy ending for out lead pair. Not that either of them really try. Spoiler alert Peter Sarsgaard barely can be bothered to phone his performance in - it's closer to having been e-mailed.
Apart from the initial battle on the plane none of the action sequences are even remotely heavy enough to work and it marks a major step back from James Mangold's last picture 3.10 to Yuma. The final five minutes of the film, set in Poploma during the bull run, are preposterous in terms of the carnage shown and offensively illogical when it comes to dispatching of Sarsgaard. All this without any ironic quips which would at least confirm the whole things meant to be a comedy.
It's not the worst film of the year, nor is it the most irritating, but it is a major mistake in just about everyone's CVs and will deservedly be found in supermarket bargain bins before long.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Tom Cruise
Happy Birthday to
Tom Cruise
48 today
Born of the third of July doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Is Cruise bashing still in vogue, I thought his self-mocking performances in Knight and Day (which I am looking forward to) and as Les Grossman would've begun to dilute that although looking at the posts on various websites you'd think he regularly ate babies. I suppose you have the same arguement with Cruise as we had with Sean Hayes a few weeks, ago when the performance is good enough you can forget Hayes is gay and that Cruise is a bit weird, and with Cruise the vast majority of his performances make me forget so I guess I'm a fan.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
20 for 2010 - Knight and Day
It's true, I've been holding back on writing up number 9 on the countdown all evening, but here is it Knight & Day.
I am, after all, expecting some stick for this one. The title is awful, the trailer looks confused and neither Tom nor Cameron are the draws they used to be... But dammit this could be so much fun. The sort of fun we've forgotten about when we go to the movies.
Over the last few years fun has disappeared from the action movie template. We have darker than black Batman films, depressed teen vampires, moody Bonds and parables about the decline of our natural world. Even the last Die Hard movie was po-faced.
The trailer for this does show that Cruise is having a good time, being a bit bonkers, almost playing to the character type we've defined him in his personal life. I think this will be utterly barmy, leave your brain at the door action.
Director James Mangold has shown us he can manage effective action scenes in the past (Cop Land, 3:10 to Yuma) so we know that that side will be competent. Lets just relax about the way this film is being marketed and get ready for 2 hours of rollercoaster fun.
Friday, 3 July 2009
Tom Cruise
Happy Birthday to
Tom Cruise
47 today
Congratulations to Tom, not just for the birthday but for being the first actor to get written up with a birthday for the second time on this blog. I expect he's feeling truly honoured right now. Since last year he's had a scene stealing cameo in Tropic Thunder and tried to off Hitler in Valkyrie, both of which have gone a long way to restore his reputation. Supposedly Wichita (romantic comedy with Cameron Diaz) is his next project, but I think I'd rather see him working with Cronenburg on The Matarese Circle.
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Valkyrie
2008. Dir: Bryan Singer. Starring: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson and Carice van Houten. ●●●●○
If you are going to watch Valkyrie I implore you to leave all your baggage at the door. Whatever preconceived notions you may have about the film they will not help your enjoyment in any way. Whatever your thoughts about Mr. Cruise or Mr. Singer or any other people involved in the making of this film they are irrelevant.
Instead you should go into the cinema with a clear mind and a fair capacity to enjoy this "b"-movie thriller and you will enjoy yourselves.
That is is a "b"-movie is perhaps open to interpretation. It's cast list may include the most famous man on the planet and a classy set of british vets but ultimately the film is about the most famous failed assassination attempt in history.
We begin by meeting Colonel Claus von Stauffenburg (Cruise) in North Africa, his battalion being slowly beaten back by the advancing brits. Von Stauffenburg writes in his diary - a fascinating segue from written and spoken German to english - of his lack of faith in the Nazi party and his attempts to recruit other senior officers to help him let high command know the party must be stopped. It's a ridiculous scene, because only a fool would write what he was saying, but it helps to introduce his high moral standards before he's shot to pieces (losing an eye, a hand and 2 other fingers).
We then move to Germany where Major-General Henning von Tresckow (Branagh) is stowing a bomb on the Fuhrer's plane. This fails to go off and some of the conspirators, though not the ones whose faces we know, are summarily rounded up.
Amazingly Satuffenburg is recruited to the staff of General Friedrich Olbricht (Nighy) a key member of the plot, and a new plan is put together.
The rest of the film follows the design, preparation and implementation of the assassination attempt. It's a utterly simple plan - blow up Hitler and use the reserve army to take Berlin and thus control the Reich. Then use the momentum to put a moderate in power and ultimately end the war. The fact that we know the plot failed does little to reduce the tension built up during the film.
That tension is mainly created by the sparse and pointed script from Christopher MacQuarrie and Nathan Alexander, and also aided by an energetic score from John Ottman. Although there is a downside to this; the mood was built up and up throughout the film with never any sense of levity. I know it's a serious topic but every line seemed to be written, or at least performed, as if it were life or death. Thus making it impossible to really get to grips with these brave men.
Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise - but at least he's not doing a bad Tom Cruise impression (see Mission Impossible III). Perhaps he might have appeared to be a better actor if he didn't surround himself by masters. Bill Nighy as his cowardly co-conspirator and Tom Wilkinson as the oily Fromm, waiting to see how the coin will land before calling it, both turn in superb performances which if the film had had an effective campaign may have got some award traction going.
Stylistically the film was nothing special, other than a nice shot of a record, and perhaps this represent a bit of a step back for Singer. That's a shame as I like his sensibilities. His next film on imdb looks to be You want me to Kill him about 2 boys who strike up a friendship on the internet that leads to murderous results. This may be an interesting mix between Heavenly Creatures and Elephant, and it's certainly the sort of film I'd like to See Singer concentrate on.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Tom Cruise
Happy Birthday to
Tom Cruise
46 today
Tom is often unfairly maligned (although he does ask for it), but here at Runs Like a Gay we're still massive fans. He's had a run of hits like no other actor, and occasionally acts well in them. I'm looking forward to his cameo in Tropic Thunder and in spite of the delays I'm still thinking Valkyrie will be an excellent film.
And for those of you who, like me, found your whole life made more sense after wacthing this, here is the volleyball scene from Top Gun (hopefully...).
