Saturday 17 October 2009

Out this Week (25/09/09 - 16/10/09)

I am so horribly out of dates - it's almost unreal. I love touring, don't get me wrong, going into schools is great fun, but not getting close to a computer for 4 weeks is definitely frustrating. It means I have 20 days of news to catch up on and nearly 40 cinema releases to preview in the next 3 hours (the time it takes to cross the Irish sea). I have been making it to the mutiplex, mind, seeing 3 films since I last showed up here, which has made the non-computer time a little easier. Starting with the releases read on to see all the films that appeared in the UK in the last 4 weeks. I've ordered them by date with this week the most recent going right back to 25 September. The films of the week have been: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus



Zombieland



Ip Man



and The Soloist



16 October 2009

Aadhavan

Perhaps unsurprisingly the first film on the list is from Bollywood, and I know nothing about it whatsoever. It appears on the surface to be an upstairs downstairs family drama led by a powerful matriach. Probably has some singing in it.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○



All the Best

Or All the Best: Fun Begins, which suggests it's part of a franchise of all the best films. Is that really a good thing? Should I really be writing about Bollywood anyway.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Blue

I've just remembered it's Divali this weekend, hence the proliferation of Hindi releases. Blue concerns deep sea diving and has a cameo from Kylie Minogue so it's getting an extra blob for that.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Couples Retreat

The concept of a comedy set at a tropical island for couples experiencing marital difficulties feels like it's been on every relationship based sitcom I've ever seen. Why is that?

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

The last half a performance Heath Ledger gave before his untimely death is fantastically rescued by Terry Gilliam in his latest film. See Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell all try to be better than each other but not as good as Ledger as versions of the character. I actually really want to see this.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○

Main Aur Mrs Khanna

Bollywood Release number 4 is a comedy about a marriage breakdown. The guy playing the third wheel in the relationship is very hot, so this may be worth seeing.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Ong-Bak: The Beginning

Tony Jaa returns to direct and star in the prequel to his masively popular chops-socky comedy adventure Ong-Bak. Expect more superb choreography and darkly comic fight sequences.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Pontypool

No, it's not a documentary about life in a small Welsh town, but a Canadian zombie movie. The interesting conceit being that the first half is set completely within a radio station as the DJ's pick up news of the Zombie attack via 'phone ins.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Thirst

Chan Wook-Park (Sympathy for Mrs. Vengence, Oldboy) may appear to be the least likely director of a vampire movie, especially in the post Twilight age of hormonal blood urges, but this won the Grand Jury Prize at Cannes as well as many devoted fans.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Triangle

If it's not Bollywood this week, then it's a horror movie. And so it is with Triangle where Melissa George meets multiple versions of herself getting chopped into little pieces in the Bermuda Triangle.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

WMD.

Bland looking thriller about the lead up to the invasion of Iraq, and a lone MI6 agent who discovers "proof" there were no weapons of mass destruction. Seems a touch far-fetched to me.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

09 October 2009

Goodbye Solo

Much praised indie about the friedship between a suicidal old man and a Sengalese immigrant taxi driver. When people like Sasha Stone are raving then you know it's worth a look.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Hallowe'en II

I don't suppose anyone actually believed that this would be even close to watchable, nevertheless the reviews have been incredibly venomous for Rob Zombie's return to the Michael Myers story. By the way, does Malcolm McDowel even read scripts any more?

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Katalin Varga

Revenge drama from Romania about a wife finding redemption for her wronged husband. Hilda Peter in the lead role carries the film on her shoulders with an extraordinary performance.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee

When I first heard about this film I thought it was a joke, even now it's getting a release I'm not convinced. Shot in 3 weeks, with Paddy Considine as a roadie who's seen it all and get through to the other side. With Shane Meadows at the helm I'm sure it'll be steered well, even if it is ultimately slight.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Love Happens

With each successive film I get more convinced that Jennifer Aniston should stick to TV and stop trying to build a cinema career for which she is clearly unsuited. This rom-com about grief seems to fail on so many levels.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Up

Little needs to be said to introduce Pixar's latest offering, their tenth massive hit. Everyone's expecting this to be the first animation to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar since Beaty and the Beast, and having seen it last week it's easy to see why.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Zombieland

Zombie's never cease to be cinematically interesting, and in Ruben Fleicher's American answer to Shaun of the Dead we see one's of 2009's funnest creation's in Woody Harrelson's undead killer.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○


02 October 2009


Army of Crime

If you're not suffering from Nazi resistance fatigue then this French film about the Paris immigrant population who fought the invaders may make for an interesting addition to the genre.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

District 13: Ultimatum

Our second production from France this week is the follow up to the Luc Besson produced guilty pleasure. Leave your brain at the door and marvel at the parkour action and the dodgy acting.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Do Knot Disturb

I think the hilarious pun in the title may just be the comic highlight for this little film about a businessman who just want's to keep his affair a secret.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Driving Aphrodite

Nia Vardalos desperately wants to resurrect her career back to it's Big Fat Greek Wedding peak, unfortunatly this middling comedy about a tour guide falling in love in Greece won't be the way to go about it.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Ghost in the Shell 2.0

Re-edited version of the classic 1995 anime, with addition CGI produced scenes. If you were a fan of the original then this update will be unmissable. For the rest of us it seems like a White Elephant of a project.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Invention of Lying

I freely put my hand up to say I am not a fan of Ricky Gervais. I find most of his work coarse and off putting. It would have taken incredible reviews for me to want to see his latest foray into Hollywood. That hasn't happened.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Ip Man

A semi-biographical account of Yip Man, the first martial arts master to teach the Chinese martial art of Wing Chun, who included the legendary Bruce Lee among his pupils.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Pandorum

Every now and then a sci-fi horror comes along which redefines the genre. Alien and Event Horizon being prime examples of this. This Dennis Quaid/Ben Foster starrer doesn't redefine anything.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

The Spell

British film about a girl coming to terms with her parents separation, and who finds that she's unwanted by either of her parents so leaves home at her earliest opportunity. (Unfotunately it then spins off into an occult thriller).

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Surviving Evil

Billy Zane is back in cinemas in this TV documentary crew who are chased by remote Philippine monsters. Make it stop, dear God, make it stop.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●○○○○○○○○○

Vinyan

The theme of the week appears to be films that start with a good concept, Emmanuelle Beart and Rufus Sewell lose their child following the Tsunami, but then drift into mindless horror rubbish. Best left alone, I think.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Wake up Sid

Sid just wants to grow up, leave the family home and marry the girl of his dreams. His dreams aren't the same as his families though in this Bollywood rom-com.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

25 September 2009

Born in 68

This French soap seamlessly integrates the political and social upeavals between 1968 and 2007 to the changing lifestyle choices of it's central family unit.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Creation

Charles Darwin is one of the few men who can truly lay a claim to changing society forever, his theory of evolution has changed the way mankind views itself. The film is getting decent enough reviews, but has suffered from the Cannes opening night curse and has failed to pick up US distribution.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Fame

The original is not as good as you remember, so if you are concerned about the studios pissing on the memory of a clasic then please don't. That, by the way, is not a recommendation. Although the camp as Christmas supporting cast (Megan Mullally, Bebe Neuwirth, Kelsey Grammar) may be.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○

Heart of Fire

This heart wrencing true story about a girl growing up during Eritrea's struggle for independence from Ethiopia deserves a much bigger audience than it will get.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Jack Said

More from Danny Dyer. And as much as I like to get to know him up close and personal, I'm not sure he would know a good script it it smacked him in the face.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Management

Jennifer Aniston and Steve Zahn meet up in this romantic comedy. They're an attractive couple so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Morris: A life with Bells on

In order to drum up a distribution deal the production company (Twist Films) toured round village halls and even got BBC Radio 4 on side. Shame the morris dancing expose seems duller than that story, even with Dominique Pinon among the cast.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

The Soloist

Joe Wringt comes off the back of consecuetive period hits Atonement and Pride and Prejudice with this adaptation of a LA Times article. It's a brave move, but with Jamie playing a mentally ill cellist and Robert Downey Jnr. as columnist Steve Lopez it should just about work.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○

Surrogates

Jonathon Mostow (Terminator 3) and Bruce Willis (of the vest and bald patch) team up for this high concept thriller about a world where we all stay in and have our surrogate robots do the heavy work for us. Great idea, execution looks iffy.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Thomas and Friends Hero of the Rails

It's a Thomas the Tank Engine movie. I'm guessing if you're reading this it's not the sort of film for you, and you can guess the plot.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

What's your Raashee

Bollywood like's to try interesting and new concepts with it's output, so this one looks at a guy trying to find love within a ten day deadline in order to ensure he inherits a fortune. I'm not sure I totally agree, as surely finding love is it's own reward, but c'est la vie.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

White Lightnin'

This has been categorised by Pearl and Dean as a pseudo biopic, I'm not even sure what that means, although it appears to follow the life story of a slightly unhinged dancer from the Appalacian Mountains. He probably is a real person, but this may not be his real story...

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

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