Saturday, 1 September 2012

You won't believe your ears (Out this week - 31/08/12)

I'm making it official. This is the worst weekend of the year so far, filled with dull unimaginative studio fodder and below average foreign language imports. If it wasn't for British independent cinema I'd probably write a stern letter of complaint. Perhaps even more bizarrely I'm plumping for an inverse horror movie as the top pick, anyone taking up my recommendation will have the opportunity to watch Toby Jones watch a grisly Giallo movie whilst cutting up vegetables, sounds odd but the trailer is deliciously suspenseful. The runs like a gay film of the week is Berberian Sound Studio.

Last week I massively overestimated the popularity of TV celebrity character Keith Lemmon and failed to take into account the largely absent reviews and bus-side advertising. It didn't flop like a fat man on a diving board achieving the highest gross for a newly released movie, but it did struggle to make much of an impact on the top ten, with Pixar's Brave still at the top of the charts. This weekend I suspect Total Recall will just about manage to scrape it's way to the top, but I won't be surprised if The Watch pips it to the post.

Berberian Sound Studio

Toby Jones, whose probably the most underutilised Great British actor working today, gets a moment in the sunshine (or is that moonlight) in this spooky British thriller about a stuffy foley artist creating the sound effects and ADR work on an Italian splatter fest. You don't see the film, but you do see the affect it has on poor Toby's sanity and the odd watermelon.

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Read on for forgotten moments, a classic genre mash-up and two Alien comedies as well as all the trailers for this weeks releases.

It's certainly cut like a horror movie, well worth the journey to see it.

Cockneys vs Zombies

Clearly the most bonkers film of the week is this Brit horror comedy about a group of East End caricatures and the residents of a Nursing home taking on the undead. I laughed at Richard Briers outrunning a zombie on a zimmerframe so there's certainly potential here.

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So if you watch just one inter-galactic comedy this weekend it should probably be this Hindi movie starring superstar Akshay Kumar. Set in the fictional republic of Paglapur, a village on the border of India and Pakistan that no-one wanted during the partition, facing tough economic times they invent the story of a full-scale Alien invasion to boost tourism. Only maybe it's not as fictional as they originally thought.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Myth of the American Sleepover

David Robert Mitchell's slowburn youth picture has a good pedigree from the festival circuit, and indeed the wistful remembrance of the summers of our youth looks interesting and will no doubt stir up all of our repressed or half-imagined tales of our late teens, however will need to be more than that to really find an audience.

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[Rec]3 Genesis

I thought this parallel story to the first 2 Rec movies had already come out, but it turns out it was just previewing back in May. Anyway the zombies (?) have invaded a wedding reception and the found footage meme gets lost halfway through. Probably not as groundbreaking as the first of these Spanish creature features it'll still have a few fans.

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Total Recall

It's interesting how Philip K. Dick's "We can Remember it for your Wholesale" has, on both adapatations, perfectly encapsulated the action cinema world around it, so the 1990 Shwarzenegger version was bright, bloody and subversive, but now with Colin Farell is visually stunning, violent without consequences and scripted by committee. Still it gets a point for not casting Ethan Hawke.

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The Watch

It's earned a reputation as being one of the unluckiest movies of the year, with unfortunate connections to global news events, however that doesn't make the movie good and judging by the trailer and the appalling US take this just isn't good enough. I have a message for Richard Ayolade and Jonah Hill - you're better than this rubbish find a decent project to work with. Thank you.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Polish true life crime thriller where the titular youth rises from a petty criminal, shoplifting trainees, to the most feared and powerful bank robbers in the Eastern bloc. Expect early 90's bling aplenty, and the occasional throwback song choice.

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Few Best Men

If you thought The Hangover was a little too reserved then this UK/Aussie collaboration starring a few British TV stars and Olivia Newton-John, and featuring a plethora of jokes about sex, drugs and stag do shenanigans might be for you. Probably not for the rest of us.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Mr. Marumakan

Two of this weeks releases, both minor output from the subcontinent, are so low key they don't even have IMDb pages. This Malayalam entry is the first, a seriocomic fantasy about business corruption and nepotism. Not playing in many cinemas.

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The Tamil option is surprisingly under-advertised given that it appears to be a straight up superhero movie, with Batman inspired costuming (admittedly I'm talking Schumacher's version). I'll certainly keep an eye out on how this performs over the weekend.

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The Possession

It's the Jewish exorcist! The trailer is surprisingly effective in putting the chills and thrills of this demon (or dibbuk) horror front and centre, but it's still derivative and devoid of depth according to the reviews. Best not bothered with.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Blue Mountain Mystery

It's only out today in a selection of cinemas, and at barely 70 minutes long this Thomas adventure is really just an extended TV show. It might keep the kids entertained, but the sun is out so there's probably better things to do with the last weekend before school's go back.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

And finally last weekend I missed the tiny release of

Tim and Eric Billion Dollar Movie

Well it was only on at the Prince Charles for 2 nights so you can't really blame me. It's clearly aimed at the fans of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim's Awesome show, with it's surreal sketch comedy and celebrity cameos (hello Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly and Zach Gallifiankis) and the plot of a meglamaniac Robert Loggia funding the billion dollar enterprise seems to be just an excuse to let the duo do their shtick.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness for Turner Classic Movies, uncut movies on Boston PBS station, and my La-Z-Boy recliner. OH, and DVDs (which you can borrow from your local public library for free!).

The last movie I saw in the theatre was ... I can't remember; it was that long ago.