I'm making it official. This is the worst weekend of the year so far, filled with dull unimaginative studio fodder and below average foreign language imports. If it wasn't for British independent cinema I'd probably write a stern letter of complaint. Perhaps even more bizarrely I'm plumping for an inverse horror movie as the top pick, anyone taking up my recommendation will have the opportunity to watch Toby Jones watch a grisly Giallo movie whilst cutting up vegetables, sounds odd but the trailer is deliciously suspenseful. The runs like a gay film of the week is Berberian Sound Studio.
Last week I massively overestimated the popularity of TV celebrity character Keith Lemmon and failed to take into account the largely absent reviews and bus-side advertising. It didn't flop like a fat man on a diving board achieving the highest gross for a newly released movie, but it did struggle to make much of an impact on the top ten, with Pixar's Brave still at the top of the charts. This weekend I suspect Total Recall will just about manage to scrape it's way to the top, but I won't be surprised if The Watch pips it to the post.
Berberian Sound Studio
Toby Jones, whose probably the most underutilised Great British actor working today, gets a moment in the sunshine (or is that moonlight) in this spooky British thriller about a stuffy foley artist creating the sound effects and ADR work on an Italian splatter fest. You don't see the film, but you do see the affect it has on poor Toby's sanity and the odd watermelon.
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Read on for forgotten moments, a classic genre mash-up and two Alien comedies as well as all the trailers for this weeks releases.
It's certainly cut like a horror movie, well worth the journey to see it.
Cockneys vs Zombies
Clearly the most bonkers film of the week is this Brit horror comedy about a group of East End caricatures and the residents of a Nursing home taking on the undead. I laughed at Richard Briers outrunning a zombie on a zimmerframe so there's certainly potential here.
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Joker
So if you watch just one inter-galactic comedy this weekend it should probably be this Hindi movie starring superstar Akshay Kumar. Set in the fictional republic of Paglapur, a village on the border of India and Pakistan that no-one wanted during the partition, facing tough economic times they invent the story of a full-scale Alien invasion to boost tourism. Only maybe it's not as fictional as they originally thought.
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Myth of the American Sleepover
David Robert Mitchell's slowburn youth picture has a good pedigree from the festival circuit, and indeed the wistful remembrance of the summers of our youth looks interesting and will no doubt stir up all of our repressed or half-imagined tales of our late teens, however will need to be more than that to really find an audience.
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[Rec]3 Genesis
I thought this parallel story to the first 2 Rec movies had already come out, but it turns out it was just previewing back in May. Anyway the zombies (?) have invaded a wedding reception and the found footage meme gets lost halfway through. Probably not as groundbreaking as the first of these Spanish creature features it'll still have a few fans.
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Total Recall
It's interesting how Philip K. Dick's "We can Remember it for your Wholesale" has, on both adapatations, perfectly encapsulated the action cinema world around it, so the 1990 Shwarzenegger version was bright, bloody and subversive, but now with Colin Farell is visually stunning, violent without consequences and scripted by committee. Still it gets a point for not casting Ethan Hawke.
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The Watch
It's earned a reputation as being one of the unluckiest movies of the year, with unfortunate connections to global news events, however that doesn't make the movie good and judging by the trailer and the appalling US take this just isn't good enough. I have a message for Richard Ayolade and Jonah Hill - you're better than this rubbish find a decent project to work with. Thank you.
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Yuma
Polish true life crime thriller where the titular youth rises from a petty criminal, shoplifting trainees, to the most feared and powerful bank robbers in the Eastern bloc. Expect early 90's bling aplenty, and the occasional throwback song choice.
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Few Best Men
If you thought The Hangover was a little too reserved then this UK/Aussie collaboration starring a few British TV stars and Olivia Newton-John, and featuring a plethora of jokes about sex, drugs and stag do shenanigans might be for you. Probably not for the rest of us.
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Mr. Marumakan
Two of this weeks releases, both minor output from the subcontinent, are so low key they don't even have IMDb pages. This Malayalam entry is the first, a seriocomic fantasy about business corruption and nepotism. Not playing in many cinemas.
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Mugamoodi
The Tamil option is surprisingly under-advertised given that it appears to be a straight up superhero movie, with Batman inspired costuming (admittedly I'm talking Schumacher's version). I'll certainly keep an eye out on how this performs over the weekend.
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The Possession
It's the Jewish exorcist! The trailer is surprisingly effective in putting the chills and thrills of this demon (or dibbuk) horror front and centre, but it's still derivative and devoid of depth according to the reviews. Best not bothered with.
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Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Blue Mountain Mystery
It's only out today in a selection of cinemas, and at barely 70 minutes long this Thomas adventure is really just an extended TV show. It might keep the kids entertained, but the sun is out so there's probably better things to do with the last weekend before school's go back.
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And finally last weekend I missed the tiny release of
Tim and Eric Billion Dollar Movie
Well it was only on at the Prince Charles for 2 nights so you can't really blame me. It's clearly aimed at the fans of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim's Awesome show, with it's surreal sketch comedy and celebrity cameos (hello Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly and Zach Gallifiankis) and the plot of a meglamaniac Robert Loggia funding the billion dollar enterprise seems to be just an excuse to let the duo do their shtick.
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Saturday, 1 September 2012
You won't believe your ears (Out this week - 31/08/12)
Saturday, 17 March 2012
My family and Other Animals (Out this week - 16/03/12)
Here in the UK there are sometimes some really odd release clashes which come as a huge shock to those of us who pay attention to global box office strategies. This week there’s a real conundrum for the multiplex crowd with three US chart toppers set to battle for the top spot (admittedly one of them hasn’t opened yet, but it seems like a no brainer this weekend), and bizarrely none of them will have the screen count of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel or John Carter. Of course I won’t be recommending any of those films as my top choice, lets face it the general public have proven time and time again that they’ll watch any old dross. I won’t be going with the two very highly praised foreign language offerings either. Instead I’m nailing my middle of the road colours to the mast and choosing a family drama about Matt Damon reconnecting to his kids with the help of a tiger and Scarlett Johansson. RLAG Film of the week: We Bought a Zoo.
Unsurprisingly John Carter of Barsoom just about took the top spot in last weeks charts, but be not fooled the £2m gross was pathetic by blockbuster standards and given the critical drubbing and poor word of mouth I can’t see it maintaining any defence against this weeks new releases. Tellingly the number of showings for Andrew Stanton’s overpriced misfire has – in my local cinema at least – reduced to less that the aforementioned Judi Dench does Jaipur dramedy. But what’s going to take the top slot? It’ll certainly be close but I reckon 21 Jump Street with it’s promise of big action, big laughs and big Channing Tatum will sneak ahead of the rest of the pack, sure there’s no awareness of the antecedents this side of the pond, but the reviews are very positive and it will probably appeal across the spectrum.
We Bought a Zoo
Based on the memoir of Benjamin Mee, the British journalist who lost his wife to cancer and set about reinvigorating Dartmoor Zoo (although it could have been the other way round in real like) Cameron Crowe’s first film since 2006 looks like a sweet option. Matt Damon is the everyman father figure helping his kids through the grief whilst impulsively buying a Southern Californian animal sanctuary. Aided by Scarlett Johannson (Oh you know where that storyline is going) and Thomas Haden Church he must find a way to open the zoo and save the animals. Yeh!
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You'll find the trailer for WBAZ, as well as the trailers and synopsis from all of this weeks releases after the jump, including undercover cops, counterfeit cash and an apple caught in a stream.
Luckily this is not the type of film that has much to spoil so it doesn't matter the entire plot is in the trailer.
In Darkness
Based on the true story of Leopold Soha this Oscar nominated Polish movie exposes an untold story of survival during the Nazi occupation. Soha, initially motivated purely by profit, gave a disparate group of Jewish refugees a chance of survival by housing them in the sewers and delivering their supplies. Reviews indicate this is not an easy film to sit through, and perhaps the situation (excluding the locataion) feels a bit overdone but the characterisations of Soha and the refugees are excellent.
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Once upon a Time in Anatolia
If you see just one Turkish film this year then make it Anatolia, on one level it’s a simple police procedural, following an uninspiring collection of coppers investigate the dumping of a body over one very long night, but on the other it’s a philosophical discussion of the nature of criminality, of the place of Turkey in 21st century politics and the repetitiveness of life. It ain’t a Cannes Grand Prix winner for nothing.
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21 Jump Street
Since last years atrocious Dilemma I’ve been looking forward to seeing Channing Tatum’s next foray into comedy, he seems to be a uniquely safe aware Hollywood hunk and is prepared to work his genetic advantages in ways that undercut the machismo of other chisel-jawed beauties. Here he stars with Jonah Hill, straight off his Oscar nod, as a pair of mismatched cops (is there any other kind) returning to high school to bring down a drug ring. Only to find it’s very different from when they left. I don’t know the original TV series affectionately parodied however it’s most recognisable alumni, Johnny Depp – don’t know if you’ve heard of him, gets a career boosting cameo.
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Contraband
“Marky Mark” Wahlberg wears two hats in Hollywood, as an actor witness his searing performances in The Fighter and The Departed or as a Producer he created the fantastic and virtually cult making series Entourage. Unfortunately when he does both he chooses a derivative remake of Euro thrillers like this smugger with family movie, directed by the star of the Icelandic original. Did get to number 1 in the States. Surprised everyone at the time.
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Kac Wara
Do you remember when Sex and Zen in 3D opened last year we thought we’d seen the lowest point where producers would go to try and burst titties out of the screen? We were wrong. This Polish film looks like the smuttier, less plot driven, comedy version of that. Amazingly it has a IMDb average vote score of 1 so clearly it’s not a film that needs to be seen on the big screen.
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Devil Inside
If you’d asked me three weeks ago which film was likely to capture the public imagination this weekend I’d have plumped for this dreadful looking exorcism, found footage dreck. Obviously it’s not for the quality – I’ve seen one Guardian blogger call it the worst film ever made – but for the early publicity campaign which took the watch audience members scream route to selling the movie which worked so well on Woman in Black and added a twist by showing it IN A CHURCH. However the ads have virtually disappear now and 21 Jump Street looks really funny.
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Saturday, 21 January 2012
Who Watches the Watchman (Out this week - 20/01/12)
Things are hotting up in British cinemas this weekend, as we try to push through all the awards bait pictures before the BAFTA deadline, so this weekend there's FBI agents vs. Roman Generals vs. headline grabbing Royals. In terms of my most anticipated of these I will confess the poor reviews for Clint Eastwood's biopic have not significantly dampened my enthusiasm so film of the week is J. Edgar.
In terms of box office Haywire has the most screens this side of the pond, but I suspect that franchise familiarity may just help Kate Beckinsale and her lycanthropic frenemies will take the top spot.
J. Edgar
A couple of weeks ago the Margaret Thatcher biopic managed to squeak it's way to the top of my highly anticipated pile, even though it appeared to whitewash history, and suddenly here we are again with exactly the same thing only centred around the FBI's most notorious and mendacious head of. Still the performances by Leo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer (as his almost lover Clyde Tolson) sound like they could elevate the movie.
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Coriolanus
Big screen Shakespeare is often a hit and miss affair, especially when bringing his work into modern dress (in spite of the tremendous success of modern design on stage), so there has been a noticeable trepidation from purists about Ralph Fiennes' update of the lesser known piece. That said the Chechnya like setting appears to work exceptionally well with Vanessa Redgrave and Jessica Chastain both receiving high praise in supporting roles.
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Haywire
Steven Soderbergh exercises his action itch allowing MMA fighter Gina Carano her moment in the sun as nearly super-heroic Mallory Kane figuring out who double crossed her whilst fighting Channing Tatum, Michael Fassbender and Michael Douglas.
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Nine Muses
I wasn't sure about including this as it's more documentary than narrative, indeed it started as a exhibit at the BFI. John Akomfrah's experimental film juxtaposes a retelling of Homer's Odyssey - using the UK immigrant experience in the 1960's - with images of an Alaskan winter. Beguiling trailer.
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Red Light Revolution
Billed as China's first and only sex shop comedy (unsurprising given the limited scope of the sub-genre) the trailer links together the kind of jokes you'd expect from any sexual aid romp regardless of it's national origin, including some stunts I'm sure we'd all do if we were locked into Anne Summers overnight!
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W.E.
Did you think, whilst watching last years terrific King's Speech that what the world really needed was a sympathetic look at Wallace and Edward in the months leading towards the UK's only abdication. (I actually thought last year's movie was fairly even-handed about Wallace, highlighting the snobbery from certain corners of the Family). Apparently Madonna wanted more so we get more in the shape of this hagiography of the central relationship and endless shots of gaudy jewels.
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Sitter
If Jonah Hill picks up and Oscar nod next week for his supporting turn in Moneyball it'll be dreck like this unoriginal comedy from David Gordon Green that prevents him from winning the prize. Certainly avoidable.
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Underworld: Awakening
It's not a critically lauded franchise, however the series has always produced decent returns and with Kate Beckinsale returning from her third movie hiatus this should clean up in the multiplexes. Stephen Rea sits on the didelines of the eternal battle between werewolves and vampires.
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X: Night of Vengeance
Oz-sploitation thriller about two hookers caught up in a very unlikely mystery. Just listened to a review online that plainly stated most plot moving conversations co-incidently take place in bra and panties or even less. I'm sure it's fine if you like that sort of thing.
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