Do you want the good news or the bad news? Well, the good news is that's it's Christmas weekend. We all have the opportunity to spend time in the loving arms of our families, feasting on festive treats and spreading the joy of the season. The bad news: cinemas are virtually no go areas. This is officially the worst week I can remember, certainly the worst since I've been writing up the releases. The even more horrifying news is that I have to choose a film of the week - I can't just advise to stay at home or go sledging - so under duress I have to pick the plain awful looking Little Fockers. I'm so very sorry.
I also missed a few films over the past few weeks so there is a mini catch-up as well.
Arthur and the Great Adventure
Belated sequel of the French produced digi-animation. Now with more R'n'B stars in the cast, including Will-I-Am and Snoop Dogg - you have to wonder what their agents were thinking - and the revenge of the villainous Maltazard.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Chatroom
I'm not sure why but Hideo Nakata, director of Ringu, has filmed his latest horror flick in London and has almost certainly lost all of his faculties. A Breakfast Club like selection of teens join an online social network site only to find it's run by a homicidal maniac.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Little Fockers
I feel so very bad having this as number one, although I suspect it will top the box office charts so at least I won't be actually paying for it. The uncomedy Father/son-in-law duo Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller reunite for another "wacky" set of adventures probably involving child excrement's. Amazingly the supporting cast includes Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand (both returning) as well as newbies Harvey Keitel and Laura Dern.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Tees Mar Khan
The first of Two Bollywood entries for this week (and I honestly think if these films were shown to critics there would have been an even chance of one of them being film of the week) is a Akshay Kumar starring action comedy. They were playing the songs on a loop at the Spice of India last week and I was getting into it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Toonpur Ka Superhero
This one truly does look dreadful. A family find themselves into a subterranean world entirely populated by badly drawn cartoons in this family adventure. Looks like a less interesting and less funny Roger Rabbit.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
And on to the missing films (please note I have been checking back to the beginning of the year in order to ensure my records are correct).
From 17 December 2010
Manmadhan Ambu
Very little information around about this Tamil film, comments on the youtube trailer page oddly concentrate on the atheistic sentiments expressed by one of it's stars, Kamal Hassan, during a recent interview.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
From 10 December 2010
A Serbian Film
Repulsive looking gorno masquerading as allegory about the history of Serbia. A retired porn star gets tricked into working for a sadistic director hellbent on making a snuff film to end all snuff films. Extreme sequences of sexual violence, and not for the faint-hearted.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
From 03 December 2010
Chikku Bikku
I had the strangest feeling that I'd seen the trailer for this part UK set Bollywood movie before. I still didn't like it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Mar Jawan Gur Khake
I think it's a romantic comedy - seriously if anyone reads this blog and has any sway with Boolywood films tell them to - at the very least - submit a synopsis to Pearl and Dean. Thank you.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Simran
Not even a trailer this time. but I don know that ones of the songs is Ve Kude Patole Bargi, that it's filmed in Punjabi and that Gunghu Gill, Simran Randhawa and Sheetal Bedi star.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
From 03 December 2010
Leap Year
Not to be confused with the dreadful Amy Adams comedy earlier in the year this is a meditative study of a Mexican woman longing for connection to a man and her masochistic carnal desires that result.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Sleeping Princess
It's a Turkish film, so don't expect subtlety but there is some interesting looking stuff in the trailer for this modern day fairy tale based around an eternal optimist looking for a better life.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
From 18 June 2010
Journey to Mecca
Really no excuses for missing this, to be honest I thought it was a documentary (and there are some filmed passages during the Hajj, the fifth pillar of Islam) but for the most part this is a biopic of the student and explorer Ibn Battuta who travelled, in 1325, from Morocco to the Arabian peninsula to carry out this sacred act.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Friday, 24 December 2010
Booking my ticket to my own circle of hell (Out this week - 24/12/10)
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4 comments:
this is sad.
I went to see TRON: Legacy last Saturday and they played the trailer for Little Fockers and it seemed just awful. awful. too bad for the cast, really. they had like 6 years to work on the screenplay, seriously...
when are you getting to Black Swan? I've had mixed feelings about it, though not about Natalie.
Rabbit Hole, on the other hand, was veeeeery zzzzzzzlow. :P I wouldn't be surprised in Nicole suddenly gets replaced in the Best Actress race. even moreso than 127 Hours, I don't see much of a crowd for Rabbit Hole.
Terrible terrible week.
Black Swan opens on 21 January, Rabbit Hole doesn't open until Feb here. Am definitely keen to see the former, not yet sold on the later so won't be surprised if it misses out.
As holiday screenings go, it has been a little thin this year... A few great titles, and then a sea of dreck. No accounting for taste, though..."Fockers" drifted to No. 1 at the Box Office last week....
As it did here. What is wrong with these people?
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