At first it seems like a quiet week with only 7 new features released into cinemas. But of course my methodology is deliberately focussed so I miss the 3D re-release of George Lucas's return to the Star Wars universe and the non 3D release of Casablanca. I suppose I should consider the later for film of the week, and it would certainly give the ultimate winner a run for it's money but I don't want to go breaking the rules as it might reveal areas of my subconscious I'd rather keep hidden. Of course film of the week is David Cronenberg's Freud-Jung-Spielrein intellectual triangle A Dangerous Method.
Of course The Phantom Menace is also tickling the top of the box office charts and with an extra day of release it might be foolish to bet against it, however I'm a fool who remembers it's half term and The Muppets has an awful lot of retro value - I would even go as far as saying more so on this side of the Atlantic than in the States - and I wouldn't be at all surprised if it takes the crown.
Oh, and I was dead right about Chronicle being last weeks biggest seller, amazingly making 26 year-old director Josh Trank the youngest director to have a box office leader in both the US and UK. 
A Dangerous Method
Second week in a row we have a stage play making the transition to film, and like Carnage the plot may in part revolve around the difference between morality and desire. Michael Fassbender continues his extraordinary run of performances as Carl Jung with Keira Knightley, Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassell surrounding him.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
The Muppets
The gang's all back. I imagine most 30 somethings or older have a huge place in their heart for the madcap antics, big-time show tunes and silly jokes of the not-quite puppets and will go out in droves with their small kids to try and revive those memories. Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Animal are all on board, as are Jason Segal, Amy Adams and Chris Cooper to drive the plot but an extra pleasure of the muppets is their fantastic cameos which include Alan Arkin, Whoopi Goldberg, Judd Hirsch and Mickey Rooney.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Woman in Black
Daniel Radcliffe, him off Harry Potter with the glasses and the scar, you'd probably recognise the guy, has to sell off an abandoned house in deepest Devon. Only it's not completed abandoned as there's a sinister spirit at work trying to rip Radcliffe's mind apart in this Hammer gothic horror. Janet McTeer and Ciaran Hinds co-star.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
The Vow
If you in the mood for a non-challenging romantic drama about a couple falling in love for the second time following a car crash and bout of amnesia then this could be exactly the movie for you. Rachel McAdams is the girl forgetting her hubby with Channing Tatum either shirtless or wearing chunky knitwear to bring back those hidden memories and Jessica Lange returns in a key supporting role.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Casanovva
Not necessarily what you would expect from the title of this Mayalaman entry. The synopsis states it's about an international businessman and playboy getting revenge on his girlfriends murderers through a reality TV show. WTF?
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu
Bollywood comedy set in Vegas (I know) slightly influenced by What Happens in Vegas as mismatched couple Imran Khan and Kareena Kapoor wake up hungover and married and must learn to love each other. Sweet.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Big Miracle
Finally we have the boring looking family friendly based on a true story tosh about whales trapped under the ice and the massive rescue effort involved fishermen, the army and large groups of volunteers. I expect it's not as bad as I think, but I can't pretend it's the sort of film I want to see.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Saturday, 11 February 2012
Tell me about your Mother (Out this week - 10/02/12)
Friday, 16 September 2011
Who's the Ringmaster (Out this week - 16/09/11)
It's crazy busy this week with twelve different releases heading to a screen near you, although to be fair many of those have very limited distribution strategies. Frankly most of them look quite weak too with really only 4-5 that even look vaguely watchable. On the other hand we've suddenly broken free from the grip of disappointing summer blockbusters and entered the first half of the pedigree movie season with the first movie to get 8 on the excitometer since March, film of the week Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
The awards season kicks off smartly with this tense spy-catcher thriller adapted from the classic John Le Carre and directed by Let the Right One In helmer Tomas Alfredson who brings his murky palette and slow-burn tension. With an impeccable cast of Brit thesps including Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, John Hurt and Tom Hardy expect this to be the first big entry into the Oscar fray.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○
30 Minutes or Less
In no way related to the recent case of a law-abiding US citizen having a bomb strapped to them and forced to rob a bank, this is a film about a law-abiding US citizen having a bomb strapped to them and forced to rob a bank. I'm glad we cleared that up. Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari star as the hapless robbers.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
I Don't Know How she Does it
I'm not really looking forward to this Sarah Jessica Parker star-vehicle concerning a modern woman balancing her family and business lives whilst proving she's able to have it all, but I am looking forward to reading the critical reaction to this sex-and-the-city-lite rubbish. Greg Kinnear takes the money and runs as SJP's supportive hubbie.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Tomboy
Description on the back of a fag packet, French teenage Boy's Don't Cry, although one hopes the finale for this 12 year old loner trying to fit in with a new crowd is far less tragic.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Atrocious
More found footage hokum with this Spanish/Mexican co-production reassembling the final days of Cristian Quintanilla and his siblings. Mercifully the film is only 77 minutes long, compared to the 37 hours of recorded footage referred to in the back story.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Change-up
Body-swap comedy which proves two things. Primarily that the sub-genre should just be abandoned and ignored for all eternity and secondarily that Ryan Reynolds, whilst cute, does not have the fanbase to open a movie. Jason Bateman is the other swapper and Alan Arkin provides a little support.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Turnout
Hoxton set crime pic with a young, impestuous couple finding themselves in murky water as they try to fund their ambitious holiday plans. Probably will find an audience, if only because it showcases the big screen debut of Ben Drew, aka Plan B.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Vanthaan Vendraan
Tamil action comedy, with a little romance thrown in for good measure. OK, I admit I know nothing about this pic, even having watched the trailer, although it was shot in some lovely locations.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Big Fat Gypsy Gangster
Seemingly titled purely to capture the growing trend to support the UK travelling community (Channel 4 and Big Brother have a lot to answer for) it's another by the books British gangster pic with "the most dangerous man in Britain" regaining his criminal empire after a spell inside.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Episode 50
Making Atrocious (above) look like high-art is this American found footage horror about the final episode of a spook-debunked cable TV programme in which the hosts scepticism is put to the test and all their rationalist assumptions fall apart like badly plotted horror pics.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Thomas and Friends: Day of the Diesels
Very limited release for a pre-DVD showing of the latest variation on a theme by Rev W Awdry. Very little is known about the cast and crew of the project - at least not on IMDb - so I don't know if Ringo Starr is back voicing the titular blue steam engine.
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You Instead
If you wanted to go to V festival but couldn't make it then this may be the picture for you this week with Luke Treadaway and Natalie Tena starring as feuding rock stars accidently handcuffed together at the music/mud event. If you were happy to stay at home then I expect you'll want to give this a miss too.
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Friday, 23 July 2010
You're - still - a toy! (Out this week - 23/07/2010)
Pixar do it again, the annual tradition of opening a movie to critical acclaim and box-office domination continues for another year. You have to wonder what they put on their cornflakes. It's quite a good week for counter-programming too with three other films that could have sneaked a film of the week mention if it wasn't so competitive. Nevertheless the crown inevitably goes to Toy Story 3.
Baaria
Golden Globe nominated Italian film following generations of a Sicilian family through births, marriages and deaths, through the rise and fall of Fascism the mob and the communist party, and all via the eyes of a Shepherd's Son.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
City Island
Andy Garcia wants to be an actor - it's a little late for that I hear you say - but no jokes his character wants to leave the nine to five and tread the boards in this New York serio-comedy. Also starring Julianna Margulies as his suspicious wife and Alan Arkin as his acting coach.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Ivul
Bizarre looking French fable about a boy who exiles himself following a brush with incest. Avant-garde touches make this inaccessible to most of the cinema-going crowd.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Jaspar, Penguin Explorer
Pleasant untesting animation aimed at the very young. Originally in German the trailer makes Pingu look like Bertrand Russell. See it if you dare.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Khatta Meetha
Bollywood expose uncovering the corruption and brutality in the road building industry (no, really). The ubiquitous Akshay Kumar stars.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Rebound
Catherine Zeta-Jones happily pigeonholes herself as a cougar (no doubt proving her acting worth) by going for a much younger man in Nanny Justin Bartha. They make a cute couple in the trailer.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Splice
Vincenzo Natali latest sci-fi offering melds creature feature prosphetics with modern ethical dilemmas as married biologists Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley make a 'baby'.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Thillalangadi
The trailer has it all, comic sidekicks, easy to copy dance routines and kick-ass car chases. Nothing that could pass for a plot though.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Toy Story 3
The Toy Story movies are now receiving accolades as the best film trilogy of all time now that the third feature has kept the ball in the air. Expect Tom Hanks and Tim Allen as Woody and Buzz to remain centre stage but with hilarious new characters voiced by Michael Keaton, Ned Beatty and Timothy Dalton to stealing some scenes. Female toys include Joan Cusack and Whoopi Goldberg.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Alan Arkin
Happy Birthday to
Alan Arkin
75 today
Alan's been a key supporting player for most of his illustious acting career, but it took a herion junkie granpa in Little Miss Sunshine for him to return to the spotlight. Another decent film would be something though...
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Marley & Me
2008. Dir: David Frankel. Starring: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Eric Dane, Alan Arkin and Kathleen Turner. ●●○○○
I will admit I had high levels of anticipation for this scruffy dog tale adapted from the scribblings of Journo John Grogan and pieced together by David Frankel. I was looking forward to it because a) I go all gooey when I see Labradors and b) Frankel has coped well with this sort of background before and whilst The Devil Wears Prada is set against the backdrop of high fashion it is still adapted from real experiences.
However I sat there watching the film and thinking “Why have they made this? Who is it for? What is the film trying to say?” I only ask these because it simply does not appear to be about a Labrador.
Instead it’s a life affirming piece about the Grogan (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) family as they learn to appreciate each other, have children and move from Miami to a massive house in Philadelphia. Its main concept seems to be the promotion of the family unit, that the family requires sacrifice and deep understanding of each other, that love is hard work but it’s worth it.
That’s all very noble, and I’ve seen some very good films that focus on that but this isn’t one of them. For instance the screenplay forces in comparisons between Grogan’s life and that of his high school friend Sebastian (Eric Dane) who has greater journalistic ambition, but seems to lose out on family. I say the screenplay forces this is because we are never given the chance to appreciate Sebastian’s life except through the eyes of Grogan, and therefore we don’t know if there is any satisfaction in his alternative lifestyle.
In short the film doesn’t do enough to make us like the human characters; the miscarriage scene is glib, we never get an idea of what Aniston has given up to be a stay at home Mum, or what Wilson leaves behind to focus on being a columnist. In the midst of all this is Marley, who is not so much a catalyst for the changes but a holy fool, pulling over tables in one scene then protectively watching over the family in the next.
The biggest crime of all is that I left the film, with reddened eyes from the last scenes (but no spoilers here), but with no real appreciation of what life is like when you have a dog. I have two beautiful mongrels, but if I did not then this film would not have let me know how loving and generous a dog is, or how much impact they have on your life.
No member of the cast or crew stands out to me as having been bad, although likewise few are good. Alan Arkin makes an impression in the underwritten part of Grogan Miami editor, and Kathleen Turner is virtually unrecognisable as a dog trainer.
In the final analysis I can only advise, ignore this doggie doo, and go take a real puppy for a walk in the park – you’ll learn so much more and have a greater emotional connection.
