Friday, 16 September 2011

Who's the Ringmaster (Out this week - 16/09/11)

It's crazy busy this week with twelve different releases heading to a screen near you, although to be fair many of those have very limited distribution strategies. Frankly most of them look quite weak too with really only 4-5 that even look vaguely watchable. On the other hand we've suddenly broken free from the grip of disappointing summer blockbusters and entered the first half of the pedigree movie season with the first movie to get 8 on the excitometer since March, film of the week Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

The awards season kicks off smartly with this tense spy-catcher thriller adapted from the classic John Le Carre and directed by Let the Right One In helmer Tomas Alfredson who brings his murky palette and slow-burn tension. With an impeccable cast of Brit thesps including Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, John Hurt and Tom Hardy expect this to be the first big entry into the Oscar fray.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○

30 Minutes or Less

In no way related to the recent case of a law-abiding US citizen having a bomb strapped to them and forced to rob a bank, this is a film about a law-abiding US citizen having a bomb strapped to them and forced to rob a bank. I'm glad we cleared that up. Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari star as the hapless robbers.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

I Don't Know How she Does it

I'm not really looking forward to this Sarah Jessica Parker star-vehicle concerning a modern woman balancing her family and business lives whilst proving she's able to have it all, but I am looking forward to reading the critical reaction to this sex-and-the-city-lite rubbish. Greg Kinnear takes the money and runs as SJP's supportive hubbie.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


Description on the back of a fag packet, French teenage Boy's Don't Cry, although one hopes the finale for this 12 year old loner trying to fit in with a new crowd is far less tragic.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○


More found footage hokum with this Spanish/Mexican co-production reassembling the final days of Cristian Quintanilla and his siblings. Mercifully the film is only 77 minutes long, compared to the 37 hours of recorded footage referred to in the back story.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Body-swap comedy which proves two things. Primarily that the sub-genre should just be abandoned and ignored for all eternity and secondarily that Ryan Reynolds, whilst cute, does not have the fanbase to open a movie. Jason Bateman is the other swapper and Alan Arkin provides a little support.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Hoxton set crime pic with a young, impestuous couple finding themselves in murky water as they try to fund their ambitious holiday plans. Probably will find an audience, if only because it showcases the big screen debut of Ben Drew, aka Plan B.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Vanthaan Vendraan

Tamil action comedy, with a little romance thrown in for good measure. OK, I admit I know nothing about this pic, even having watched the trailer, although it was shot in some lovely locations.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Big Fat Gypsy Gangster

Seemingly titled purely to capture the growing trend to support the UK travelling community (Channel 4 and Big Brother have a lot to answer for) it's another by the books British gangster pic with "the most dangerous man in Britain" regaining his criminal empire after a spell inside.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Episode 50

Making Atrocious (above) look like high-art is this American found footage horror about the final episode of a spook-debunked cable TV programme in which the hosts scepticism is put to the test and all their rationalist assumptions fall apart like badly plotted horror pics.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Thomas and Friends: Day of the Diesels

Very limited release for a pre-DVD showing of the latest variation on a theme by Rev W Awdry. Very little is known about the cast and crew of the project - at least not on IMDb - so I don't know if Ringo Starr is back voicing the titular blue steam engine.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

You Instead

If you wanted to go to V festival but couldn't make it then this may be the picture for you this week with Luke Treadaway and Natalie Tena starring as feuding rock stars accidently handcuffed together at the music/mud event. If you were happy to stay at home then I expect you'll want to give this a miss too.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○


Alex in Movieland said...

i hear only good things on Tinker... I especially like the mood it seems to have, at least in the trailer. Very cool, very high-class smart stuff.

Runs Like A Gay said...

The advance word you're hearing is on the button, an exceptional movie that can be recommended to everyone.