Out this Week (01/05/09)

And out other weeks - but I'll come to that later, after I've a thorough moan about the films in cinemas this week. Today marks the beginning of the blockbuster season as Hugh Jackman's Wolverine will slice and dice his way to the top of the charts, and for the next 4 months there will be at least one big budget action spectacle a week, maybe with some nifty counter programming. This week the counter programming has, with the exception of one hidden gem, spectacularly failed. In fact I've compared my excitometer scores (based on a highly complex formula that mixes the reviews, advertising, talent, buzz and plot) and found that this week has the lowest average this year, slipping to less than 2.75. So I can say with all my heart if you're not going to see Is Anybody There? you're better off kicking a ball aroung a park for 3 hours instead.



Funuke - Show some love, you losers!

It gets kudos for that title certainly. Japanese film about a family getting together for the funeral of their parents, leading to traumatic and bloody fights.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○



Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I actually quite like the idea of this - serial womaniser is visited by girlfriends past, present and future in order to show him the error of his ways in the spirit of A Christmas Carol. Only the fun seems to has drifted away in the execution, and the posters make Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner look like waxworks.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Miley Cyrus brings her treasured TV alterego to the big screen in order to learn valuable lessons about life on the farm and away from the limelight. Embarassing confession - I actually quite like Miley's "See you Again".

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Helen

The eponymous heroine, on leaving a care home, is invited to assist with a reconstruction as part of an investigation into a missing girl. Much introverted sould searching follows.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○


Is Anybody There?

Surprisingly this film about a boy growing up in an nursing home with Michael Caine's charismatic retired magician and a host of semi recognisable british veterans is the most relevant and alive picture openign this week.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○


Kal Kissne Dekha

Two lovers from wildly divergent backgrounds? Check. Mysterious strangers conspiring to keep them apart? Check. Silly plot about seeing the future merely a smokescreen for a standard romcom? Check. Bollywood at it's most transparent.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Kandasamy

Have absolutely no idea about this other Bollywood release. Probably as daft as the above, mind.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I'm shallow but even the thought of Hugh Jackman's bum will not be enough for me to make the trip to see this dreadful Wolverine prequel. With awkwardly inserted fanboy favourites and the cynical rough leak, in order to have something to blame when it fails to perform to expectations.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○