Who is Salt, What? Is she? (Out this week - 20/08/10)

It's an action packed week of high octane entertainment whichever way you look. In fact there's little chance of making it to a cinema without geting involved in a gun fight or a massive chase sequence whether you're running from big muscles, big fish or big lips. I'm torn beween Jolie and Stallone for the box office campionship but I imagine the former has more cross appeal and will therefore get more couples could be a close one. In terms of my choice for film of the week be aware that I'm writing this one week in advance so the score for a certain fish film is yet to be finalised and I've heard rumours that the latest Danny Dyer pic (Basement) is to be rushed into screens but I've yet to get any official confirmation. That said it's highly unlikely that any of the films will look better than Salt.



The Expendables

Sylvester Stallone has assembled "the most awesome action cast ever" for this predicatable CIA backed drug lord revenge action flick and much has been made of the Planet Hollywood reunion - personally I'd be more interested in seeing Greenwich Village alumni Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke as snarling villian and wisecraking mechanic respectively.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○



The Illusionist

Based on an unfilmed script by genius French comedian Jacques Tati, Sylvain Chomet follow-up to the madcap Triplets of Belleville uses the same animation style and is bound to pick upsome serious fans worldwide for it's sly visual humour.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Marmaduke

The kind of talking animal pictue that makes Kitty Galorelook like a masterpiece in cinematic art. Run away and pray Owen Wilson can't sniff you out. Also starring William H. Macy.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Mother

Joon-ho Bong's latest movie takes a long hard look at the relationship between Mother and Son following accusations of murder. Hye-ja Kim's performance as the titular matriach is rumoured to be excellent.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Piranha 3D

It promises much in the way of bitey fish and many semi-naked women. I doubt there's much space for a coherent plot or "fleshed out" characters, but then why would any of the intended audience be looking for that. Richard Dreyfuss and Elisabeth Shue prove they can't get any other work.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Salt

Anjelina Jolie is accused of being Russian agent and then goes on the run - now that just looks horribly guilty. I don't believe any amount of disguise would hide Jolie's beauty but I think I'll be going to the nearest multiplex to see.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○

I know it's not confirmed - but I wouldn't want to miss the chance of taking a good look at Danny Dyer.