Now the more observant among you will have noticed that I haven't posted a review this week. Worse than that I didn't even make it to my local multiplex. This is almost exclusively because I am completely and utterly broke, currently being between projects which is no laughing matter I can tell you. So whilst I would love to regale you with my thoughts on Viggo and Michael tussling with psychological concepts in A Dangerous Mind that will have to wait - I will try and catch it this week, somehow, and give you my thoughts over the coming days. Of course I'm now at least one week behind, luckily the top film this week is such a complex case I'm happy to give it a bit of time before I see it - in fact waiting until it's DVD release later in the year might give me the opportunity to see it outside of the conflicting poor reviews/oscar nod pressures facing me - but let's not shy away from the fact that whilst there are 14 releases competing for our attention the RLAG film of the week goes to Extremely Loud and Incredible Close.
Last week, much to my surprise, Daniel Radcliffe proved he can open a film (on this side of the pond at least) and Woman in Black cruised to the top of the box office chart, significantly ahead of my puppet based prediction. This week I do expect he'll stay there but sniffing at his heels will be Nicolas Cage in leather vehicle Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.
Extremely Loud and Incredible Close
It's bathos a-plenty in this second trailer for Stephen Daldry's adaptation of the acclaimed Jonathan Safran Foer novel about a boy with borderline Asperger's coping with his fathers death in the September 11 terrorist attack. It doesn't look subtle, but two Academy Award nominations (Best picture and Max von Sydow) convince me there must be something worth seeing here.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Woman in the Fifth
That's the fifth Arrondissement of Paris, in case you wondered, and the woman in question is Kristin Scott Thomas, always ready to help a struggling writer like Ethan Hawke to breakthrough the writer's block with lashings of sex and maybe a mystery plot or two.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Hadewijch
Interestingly this low-key French picture from Bruno Dumont turned up in quite a few top ten lists last year, including John Waters! Essentially a parable about the dangers of blind faith and religious fervour Hadewijch is a novice Nun, who after getting kicked out of the order for over expressing her love for Jesus finds herself drawn to a group of Muslim extremists. Might make a strange and rewarding double bill with Extremely Loud.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Ekk Dewana Tha
Fluffy looking Hindi romance that looks bland enough but apparently has a Romeo and Juliet like twist as she is from a strict orthodox Christian family. It'll work out alright in the end I expect.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Fetih 1453
Turkish film about the fall of Constantinople in 1453 and the collapse of the Byzantine civilization. Whilst some of the special effects look ropey this is the sort of historic epic they make very well in Turkey, could be worth a look for the costumes alone.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
The sequel nobody wanted for the superhero nobody cares about. Hey ho. At least the combination of Crank directors Neveldine and Taylor with an out of control Nicolas Cage performance seems like a match made in heaven.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
ID: A
Danish thriller in part influenced by TV's "The Killing" - or at least it's cinematic release is - wherein an amnesiac wakes up in a river with only a shoe and a satchel containing loads of cash and a gun as clues to her identity. Is she connected to the assassination of a prominent politician? What do you think...
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Mothers
Obscure elliptic Macedonia art-house release that mixes narrative and documentary styles over three storylines including a fake report of a flasher and a film-making crew in a deserted village.
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Simple Life
No it's not the big screen version of that Ritchie/Hilton reality TV programme instead it's a meditative Hong Kong feature about the shifting relationship between a 40 something year-old and his elderly amah following her debilitating stroke.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2
Just for half term, this kiddywink aimed movie opened during the weekdays in order to make a few bucks before it's majority income from DVD sales. It's bright, I'll give it that.
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Kadhalil Sodhappuvathu Eppadi
There are three Bollywood releases sneaking out this week with very limited releases and not much background information on the web. First up is this Tamil picture, as you can see there's an IMDB page but no content. From the trailer I can only imagine it's a high school set romance.
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Muppozhudhum Un Karpanaigal
Next up is another Tamil movie, which doesn't even have anything on IMDb. Frankly I was amazed to find a trailer. This too looks like a romance, only the chap in questions turns out to be an assassin. Great falling into bed shot in the trailer, mind.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Older than America
Proving not all the bad films are coming from India this week is this dreadful looking horror junk about the interface between the Catholic church and Native Americans. I expect the bad guys are really neither side but an unseen extra cult of nuts.
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Pata nahi rabb kehdeyan rangan ch raazi
Finally there's this Punjabi release, with one of the longest titles I can remember, with a globe trotting romantic theme culminating in a Valentine's day proposal. (Sorry, spoilers.)
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Saturday, 18 February 2012
Trying to make sense of it all (Out this week - 17/02/12)
Friday, 18 November 2011
Always the quiet ones (Out this week - 18/11/11)
It's all about Vampires vs. Werewolves this weekend. Actually that might be more interesting than the first half of the final chapter in the Twiglet franchise, you know the one where they get married, get preggers and mope around before the final battles commence. Not that the combined efforts of Bella, Edward and Jacob can manage to win my favour, instead film of the week goes to Aussie serial killer pic Snowtown.
Snowtown
Based on Australia's most famous serial killer case, the bodies in the barrels guy John Bunting, the film investigates the case through the eyes of his prospective step-son. This marks the second film in a growing crime renaissance in Australian cinema following Animal Kingdom earlier this year.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Special Forces
French movie tackling the Afghani conflict and a journo (Diane Kruger) who gets herself kidnapped, and the elite military squad led by Djimon Houson snatching her back from the Taliban. Holding up quite well on IMDb.
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Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1
I don't need to explain the latest instalment of the teenage franchise, frankly it's advertising is everywhere and it's likely to take the box office crown globally this weekend. It's one of those cultural shifts that's so impossible to ignore that I may even be persuaded to see it myself.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Hero Hitler in Love
It sounds like the most distasteful Bollywood movie of all time, however I understand that's just controversy designed to build up some headlines. Oddly it's actually a love story across the Indian-Pakistani border, which may prove even more controversial in some quarters.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Justice
Nicolas Cage again, proving he's never says no to these half-arsed thrillers, getting into some double dealings with shady Guy Pearce, allowing them to bump off his wife's attacker only for his debt to be called in. Makes last weeks Trespass look like cinematic gold.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Welcome to the Rileys
Cashing in on the Twilight love out there, this American indie might actually be the more interesting of the two with James Gandolfini and Melissa Leo dealing with the death of their child in vastly different ways, the former hanging out with hooker Kristen Stewart and the latter hiding away.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
How to Stop Being a Loser
Minor British comedy with a cast full of TV personalities and semi-famous faces, with our hero making a Faustian pact in order to woo the ladies. I think it's a comedy.
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Saturday, 26 February 2011
Are you a strong creature? (Out this week - 25/02/11)
We're back to the normal pace this week with seven hig profile releaes, and a couple of Bollywood entries. Although the box office lead could easily go to any one of the options available the film of the week remains Oscar-nominated Aussie entry Animal Kingdom.
Animal Kingdom
Family crime drama from Oz, with newcomer James Frecheville getting overwhelmed by the criminal fraternity he finds himself drawn into led by his violent, unpredictable uncle Ben Mendelsohn and his Oscar-nominated grandmother Jacki Weaver.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●●○
Howl
James Franco proves he's no one trick pony with his extraordinary performance as beat poet Allen Ginsberg, however movies are really the best way to present poetry and despite the best efforts of a supporting cast including Jeff Daniels and David Strathairn and animated sequences to illustrate the literary illusions it may be best to just go to the page.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
The Rite
It's had dreadful write-ups and has taken a paltry $30m in the US in spite of hitting the top of the box office on it's opening weekend, that said there must be mileage in watching Anthony Hopkins hamming it up as a priest in constant battle with the Devil.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Drive Angry
Nicolas Cage, and his latest crime against hair styling, escapes from hell (wtf???!!!) to rescue babies being sacrificed to Satan - nice tie up to The Rite, do I hear a double bill planned - in this pleasantly barmy sounding 3D high octane adventure
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
I am Number Four
It's a film that will probably be remembered more for it's genesis that the half-baked alen invasion meets teen romance plot. Its the first movie from James Fry's publishing house whoich sounds a little like the Mills and Boon writing model for stories designed for film adaptations. There needs to be better quality control though.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
No Strings Attached
Oh, Natalie Portman, what have you done. Released in mid Oscar voting season this turkey about a fuck buddy relationship developed with Ashton Kutcher may just cost her the golden statue. Kevin Kline also stars.
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Satrangee Parachute
Bollywood kids comic-drama with five friends lost in Mumbai searching for a parachute - no, really - whilst their family freak out in their small village. Looks like it may appeal to younger children.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Seedan
Sentimental love story between an orphaned servant girl who is taken care of like her daughter by the owner of the house and the owner’s son who comes in to stay for a few days before leaving for USA. Remake of another Bollywood movie.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
West is West
Completely unnecessary and curiously delayed sequel to hit British/Pakistani comedy East is East whish this time sees our wife-beating bigamist father return to Pakistan to show his youngest son about his heritage.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
And here are some minor releases I missed out from last week:
7 Khoon Maaf
Dark comedy about a serial killing/serial marrying woman, a Bollywood anser to Bluebeard perhaps. Irfan Khan has a starring role.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Nadunissi Naaygal
Ugly sounding Tamil/Teluga movie based around the psychotic behaviour of a woman who was sexually abused as a child.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Shine of Rainbows
From the sacharine and gag-reflex inducing title onwards this Irish-Candadian co-productions looks very missable, especially when the imdb plot synopsis goes: A lonely orphan's life is transformed by an extraordinary woman who teaches him to conquer grief and discover the magic in nature and himself. Shudder.
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Saturday, 8 January 2011
The Voice of the Nation (Out this week - 07/01/11)
Suddenly we've stumbled into 2011, into the thick of the prestige awards season and naturally the quality of the films has increased. Whilst there is no doubt which of this weeks movies seems to be the most interesting you could easily see 5 of them and not be really disappointed. You may notice as the weeks go on that I have slightly changed my scoring mechanism - this should aid films that previous would have got between 1 and 5 blobs, although this week you can't tell because the overall quality is excellent and we also have a one blob that couldn't get anything more! I went to the cinema last night and the biggest queues and consequently the box office champ (I just love anecdotal evidence) is set to be Danny Boyle's latest but my top pick would be 
The King's Speech
It's been winning audience awards at festival after festival and is hotly tipped to be among the top performing films at this years Academy Awards. It's also a fascinating look at the relationship between George VI (Colin Firth) and his speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). Helena Bonham Carter completes the acting trio headlining the movie.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●●○
The Next Three Days
Russel Crowe can't cope with his wife behind bars so decides to break her out in this English language remake of the French thriller Pour Elle. Almost certainly hokum but will it be enjoyable hokum?
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
127 Hours
Danny Boyle dares to bring the true story of Aron Ralston to the big screen complete with (spoiler alert) graphic scenes of bone sawing. James Franco spends almost the entire film alone as the clock ticks for our trapped hero.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Abel
Diego Luna's directorial debut broke Mexican opening weekend records back in 2010 when it opened to universal praise. With it's tale of shifting family dynamics in modern Mexico and it's focus on the young boy in the family this could be one to watch.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
It's a Kind of Funny Story
Keir Gilchrist is the teenager who checks himself into a mental institution following a bout of suicidal thoughts. With Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck directing and Zach Galifrankias and Viola Davis offering support it's difficult to know where this teen One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest is heading.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Amer
Not to be confused with Abel above this is a French movie about three key sensual moments in our heroine's life, it almost looks like arthouse porn as "her carnal search sways between reality and fantasies becoming more oppressive".
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No One Killed Jessica
In our first Bollywood release of 2011 I'm guessing that Jessica is already dead but the provenance of her departure is in question. It's a thriller not an inquest by the way.
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Season of the Witch
On the flipside to January seeing the release of award fodder we also get some prime turkeys that the studios struggle to find the best time to release them. Nicolas Cage is outacted by his wig in this 14th Century action horror.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Midgets vs. Mascots
Dire looking sub-Jackass mockumentary about two teams (Midgets and Mascots, natch) competing for a place in the will of a millionaire porn star dwarf. Probably not how Gary Coleman would like to be remembered.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●○○○○○○○○○
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Remembering our past (Out the week - 13/08/10)
It's a strange week where the two big releases both look like dreadful prospects for a night at the cinema, needless to say it will either be cage or M. Night at number one and they'll claim a massive victory even if receipts of both end up bing disappointing. The film of the week on the other hand has be Oscar winner The Secret in their Eyes>.
Black Dynamite
It might not be timely - spoofing the blaxploitation subgenre which peaked over 30 years ago - but this all action comedy from Michale Jai White looks great in the trailers and hits all the right moves.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
The Final
Five kids getting bullied in small town America high school decide to deal with it through ultra violence and torture. This seems disproportionate to me, what do you think?
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Kalavaadiya Pozhuthugal
It's impossible to find many details about this Tamil film starring the irrepressible Prakash Raj. The ramantic comedy follows the fortunes of 2 couples. IF anyone can post a link to a trailer then I will be eternally grateful - this is the only film that's foxed me so far this year.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Last Airbender
The US critics went to town tearing down M. Night Shyalaman's latest cinmatic venture partly due to it's own incompetence and partly due to the drop in quality between the original cartoon series and this big screen remake. Reviews from this side of the pond have been kinder, but still generally negative.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Le Refuge
Francois Ozon's (Time to Leave, 8 Women) latest about a pregnant woman coming to terms with the death of her lover and making an unlikely replacement family with his gay brother seems perfect for his sensitive filming style, that said the trailer and reviews make it seem like naval gazing is the order of the day.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Secret in their Eyes
Very highly praised and oscar winning Argentinean movie that plays with time jumping back and forth between a an unsolved murder in the 1970's and the prosecuter writing his memoirs about the events surrounding it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Socerer's Apprentice
OK so I've rated this higher than the Last Airbender because the reviews have generally been kinder, but frankly this looks like the worse of the two and no amount of Nicolas Cage doing Nicolas Cage can prevent that.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue
Utterly pointless spin-off gets utterly pointless limited cinematic release. I can't imagine why anyone would want to go to see this, even the animation looks uninteresting.
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Friday, 21 May 2010
Out this week (21/05/2010)
Summer defiantly continues (actually it's been pretty hot here in the real world as well as in the multiplexes) with one of those tentpoles that's had a shift forward of it's UK release in order to avoid clashing with the World Cup. Aptly, given the seasonal weather it also involves Jake Gyllenhaal bearing a lot of flesh for the Arabian suns. Not that it's the top film... Oh no, for a real quality night my pick of the week is Warner Herzog's massively gonzo Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
If you could imagine the most eccentric pairing of director and star working today you probably wouldn't be far off Herzog and Nicolas Cage. It's fair to say this corrupt cop drama is delightfully bizarre as a result, with copious drug taking and iguanas throughout. The excellent supporting cast includes Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer, Irma P. Hall, Brad Dourif, Michael Shannon, Fairuza Balk, Xzibit....
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
Cop Out
If I say anything too pro of anti Kevin Smith I am absolutely suire he'll tarack me down and take offence, as he did on his twitter account following the US release of his latest big budget comedy. But I won't go and see it either.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Heartless
Jim Sturgess wears a heart-shaped birthmark over his face in this latest British horror. Essentially a adult version of TV's recent Demon's about devilish minions in London.
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Kites
It's a Bollywood movie, yet on the poster it says "Brett Ratner presents Kites". That's right the B-movie director with A-movie budgets is in someway involved with this Mexican set Hindi movie. Interesting, yes, but not really exciting.
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Pimp
Since the last Danny Dyer picture he's been sacked from his "Nuts" agony column for appearing to condone spousal abuse, so I might not be posting the obligatory semi-naked pic this time. The films about a Soho pimp (natch) who's life spirals out of control. True fact - I applied for a role in this movie.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Whilst Bad Lieutenant looks like the best film coming out this week I'm still going to be first in the queue to watch Jake Gyllenhaal prancing shirtless in the desert, all buff like. Can you blame me, really?
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Streetdance 3D
This will be an awful movie, of that I have no doubt, but the trailer is fantastically fun and truly this is the sort of film that deserves the 3D treatment as various well known UK dance troupes (mainly from Britain's Got Talent) jump out of the screen at you.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Oh, who am I kidding - here's Danny:
And Jake, mmm:
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Out These Weeks (19/03/10 - 02/04/10)
Yes, I have been away, which means I have missed out on previewing a good three weeks of films (whther that's three weeks of good films is perhaps more relevant). To tell you the truth I have been deliberately lazy with this. I could have popped into an internet cafe during both of the last couple of weekends, but I just couldn't face it. The overall quality of releases has been so poor I haven't wanted to make the effort to make it to a cinema. Nevertheless I feel I must catch up and tell you my picks for the film of the week, so in reverse order:
Released on 02 April 2010:
Kick-Ass
Released on 26 March 2010:
The Blind Side
Released on 19 March 2010:
I Love You, Philip Morris
Read on for the film synopsis' which I will try to kep within one sentence - now there's a challenge.
02 April 2010
Arjunan Kadhali
Hindi love film.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
City of War
Or the story of John Rabe who ensured the survival of 250,000 Chinese peasants during the Japanese attack on Nanking in 1937-8.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Clash of the Titans
On of Antiquities more exciting tales adapted again for the big screen with Perseus slaying Medusa and the Kraken. Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Pete Postlethwaite turn up as Shiny Gods playing with us mortals.
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Double Take
Rare documentary making it onto my list, as Alfred Hitchcock's obsession with doubles is deconstructions through clips and some fake reconstructions.
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How to train your Dragon
Laugh out loud cartoon from Dreamworks with a nerdy viking making friends with an injured dragon which leads to a massive culture clash.
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Kakera: A Piece of our Life
Lesbian dabblings at university in this Japanese drama.
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Kick-Ass
The superhero genre gets deconstructed in this tale of a adolescent who puts on a cape to fight some bad guys, the 12 year old fould mouthed violent Hit Girl is bringing the publicity, Nicolas Cage has actually picked a decent project this time.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○
Paiyaa
The usual mix of action and love story in this import. I'm sorry I can't be bothered with anything I'm not already interested in.
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Remember Me
For the Twilight fans R Pattz tries something different. I expect someone major in the plot dies horrifically hence the title. Chris Cooper and Lena Olin have supporting roles.
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Sadiyaan
Based on actual events during the partition of India and Pakistan. Still involves singing and dancing.
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Samson and Delilah
Lyrical account of a developing romance between two aboriginal teenagers. Critically lauded.
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26 March 2010
Angardi Theru
Moved back again, look through previous posts to see if I had anything interesting to say last time...
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The Blind Side
Sandra Bullock's Oscar winning performance as a uptight stinking rich white woman who adopts a homeless black teen - based on a true story. Kathy Bates co-stars.
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Cok Filim Hereketler Bunlar
Turkish version of Valentine's Day - I think it's a big screen spin-off of a popular TV series in Turkey (not completely sure).
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Hum, Tum Aur Ghost
Love story played between two people with opposing views on nearly every subject. Ho hum.
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I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
I think they call this a comedy, about a best man whose antics at the stag do are so notorious he's disinvited to the wedding.
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Lad Gaya Pecha
Man falls in love wit a ghost - not your typical love story from the sub-continent.
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Lion's Den
Brizilian Women's prison drama with no cliche left unturned as we are invited to watch children taken from their mother, guard brutality and incidental lesbianism.
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Lourdes
Medidation on the ideas of faith and miracles that follows when a paralysed atheist is cured on a pilgrimage.
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Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
All star sequel (Emma Thompson, Ralph Fiennes, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Maggie Smith) to the hit anti-Mary Poppins children's film. The whole cast are clearly having a ball whilst keeping a stiff upper lip in the war years.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Nightwatching
Peter Greenaway direct Martin Freeman's cock in this dramatisation of Rembrandt's life around the time he was painting The Night Watch.
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No One Knows about Persian Cats
The Persian Cats are an Iranian pop group trying to maintain their identity and the band where the idea of Western inspired music is considered sacriligious.
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Not the Messiah (He's a very Naughty Boy)
Concert film of the oratoria based on Monty Python's Life of Brian as performed in the Royal Albert Hall in 2009. Probably not as good as the orginal film.
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Perrier's Bounty
Cillian Murphy is on the run from loan shark gangster Brendan Gleason, accompanied by his coffee guzzling father Jim Broadbent and romantic interest Jodie Whittaker - better than your average gangster pic.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Romantik Komedi
If you couldn't guess from the title it's Turkish, and if I hadn't already described another film above as the Turkish Valentine's Day I'd be using that line here - so now I'm stumped.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Shank
No, not the gay happy slappers film which came out last year, but a completely unrelated movie about teenage gangs in a apocalptic vision of a future Britain.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Storm
An attempt to dramatise the legalistic procedures and diplomatic pressures when trying a mass murderer through the European Courts.
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19 March 2010
Bounty Hunter
Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston both demonstrate how unfair the Hollywood system is that let's talentless shmucks like them headline. And they drag Cathy Moriaty down with them.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Ditching
More post-apocalyptic angst, this time set in Northern Ireland.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Dorothy
Irish suspense movie involving psychiatrists and ghosts and false allegations of child abuse.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Happy Ever Afters
Delayed comedy about mix-ups at two weddings taking place in the same venue.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
House of the Devil
Now that irony is dead teenagers can once again babysit in scary houses and get picked on by malevolent spirits.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
I Love You, Philip Morris
Jim Carrey goes gay and falls in love with his cell mate Ewan MacGregor in this ribald comedy from the writing team behind Bad Santa.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
My Last Five Girlfriends
We are treated to a parade of the last five girlfriends of our protagonist as he tries to figure what he's doing wrong. The clue's in the title.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Old Dogs
John Travolta and Robin Williams together at last. Naturally the film is a pile of rotting flesh which no amount of cameos with Ann-Margret and Matt Dillon can save.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Salvage
British suspense actioner as a contained is washed up in a sleepy cul-de-sac making the hitherto quiet neighbours a violent and distustful mob.
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Scouting Book for Boys
Thomas Turgoose continues to shine in this film about a teenager falling in love with his best friend as he hides her from here distructive family.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
The Spy Next Door
Or Jackie Chan babysitting in this kids comedy. Given the righ audience I expect this will do well.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Staten Island
Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio and Seymour Cassell play a septic tank cleaner, a deaf mute and a mob boss in the titular New York suburb. I don't know which is which.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Zonad
A rehab escapee manages to persuade a naive Irish Community that he's a visitor from outer space.
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And two films missed from 12 March 2010
The Ape
Norwegian film about a man waking up to find his entire life has been erased.
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Ay Lav Yu
Amazingly this is a Turkish film that manages to cast Steve Guttenburg and Mariel Hemingway as a visiting US coupl. I didn't even know Steve was still alive.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Friday, 5 February 2010
Out this week (05/02/10)
Just three days after the Oscar nominations it's no surprise that this weeks top film managed to pick up some attention, even if it missed out on the big prize. More complex is the battle for audiences with 2 animated features both opening this week - I suspect Disney to take the box office crown. We also have a bit of a cathch up session as 4 films were quietly released last week without me spotting them - so if you're interested in Turkish cinema then skip to the end. Nevertheless ehe film of the week is still Invictus.
Asal
Effectively looking Bollywood actioner with Ajith Kumar as a one man army fighting to get to Sameera Reddy. Some nice stuntwork in the trailer but it may be one for the fans.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Astro Boy
Middling animated fabtasy about aelectronic boy with exception firepower created in the image of a scientist's lost son. A tiny bit like Pinnochio then. Personally I'm not sure why you'd give a replacement for your son laser vision and rocket launchers, but there you go. Starry voice cast (including Nic Cage, Charlize Theron and Samuel L. Jackson) is all it has to recommend it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Holy Water
Irish comedy about a skiffle band who steal a bus load of viagra's. Much hilarity then ensues - not that you'd guess from the trailer which has it's fair share of silly car chases and jokes about middle aged couples refinding their sex drive.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Invictus
It may have missed out on a best picture nomination this week, to Sandra Bullock vehicle The Blind Side, but Clint Eastwood's recreation of the infamous Sprinbok Rugby World Cup win and it's South African political ramifications still look like a worthy film to view.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○
The Island
Set within a remote monastic community Pavel Lounguine's sophomore picture shines a light on a dying religion (in this case the Russian Othodox Church) and how this can be shaken as one priest offers a faith-healing. It comes with fine pedigree 6 wins at the 2007 Nika Awards.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Malice in Wonderland
It's our first Danny Dyer movie of 2010 - there will be a few, don't worry. In this twisted version of Lewis Carroll's famous story he plays a Whitey, a taxi driver obsessed with being late. There are some nice touches - Tweedledum and Tweedledee are doormen and Wonderland is a big nightclub, but I'm personally waiting for Burton's take on it.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
The Princess and The Frog
Disney return to hand-drawn animation with this 20th century fairytale, set during the Jazz age in Louisiana. It's not as starry as this week Astro Boy - Anika Noni-Rose is the lead with Terrence Howard and Oprah Winfrey the only other names I really recognise - but the songs are great and the trailer mixes a family comic feel with suitably scary villians.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○
Psych 9
Cliche filled thriller about a girl who (trailer voice) must confront her past to prevent a murder... Set in an abandoned insane Asylum with Cary Elwes as her shrink (so clearly he's also the killer). Avoid.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Tony
Tony (Frank Boyce) is a lonely mild mannered guy you could easier miss as you walk past him in central London. Unemployed, and largely unemployable he spends his days wanering through the markets and chatting to hookers. Until he flips and becomes a serial killer. Darkly comic this British film may be worth making the effort.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Youth in Revolt
It's box office performance in the States may have been abysmal but I really enjoyed the trailer for this Michael Cera vehicle. He stars as a late teen inventing a new persona in order to sleep with the girl of his dreams. Unfortunatly his imaginery doppelganger is both more irresistible and irresponsible than he is.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
And missed off from last week (29 January 2010):
A Bit of Tom Jones
Star-free Welsh comedy which seems to be developing as a cult hit according to imdb.com. The plot, such as it is, revolves around Tom Jones' stolen member and the apparent market for celebrity willies. So bizarre it might be worth a look.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○
Edjer Kapani
Turkish suspense thriller about a serial killer targeting peadophiles and the police who must stop him. The trailer looks more like a extended episode of CSI: Ankara but with an interesting plot and a couple of car chases.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Kutsal Damacana 2
Did anyone see Kutsal Damacana 1? I didn't think so... It's a comedy along the lines of a parody of Buffy the Vampire slayer with a highly trained group of priests (and nuns) fighting demons.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○
Yahsi Bati
And our final Turkish film - was there a festival or something?- is a comic western examining the culture clashes betwen to Turkish embassy officials towards the end of the last century and the wild west communities they encounter as they cross the states.
Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○
Oh, and to celebrate another Danny Dyer release here's my traditional semi naked picture of him:
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Nicolas Cage
Happy Birthday to
Nicolas Cage
45 today
I'm never too sure if I like Nic Cage as an actor; after all we know from Leaving Las Vegas and Adaptation that he can act when he puts his mind to it, yet his output still slants towards garbage like Bangkok Dangerous. Couple of good ones coming mind, might even go and see him in The Riot.
Monday, 18 August 2008
Leaving Las Vegas
1995. Dir: Mike Figgis. Starring: Nicolas Cage, Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands, Richard Lewis and Steven Weber. ●●●●○
Leaving Las Vegas is not a film for the light hearted. It contains very frank and explicit scenes of alcoholism and prostition, without the Hollywood sugar coating. For those who are able to make it through the tough exterior they will find a glorious film inside.
The plot can be summarised in one matchbox sized sentence: Drunk moves to Las Vegas to die and meets tart with a heart. Indeed when you boil it down there isn't much more to the story than that.
Nicolas Cage, as Ben Sanderson, is an alcoholic in Hollywood who, on losing his job, decides to end his life by drinking himself to death in Las Vegas, the city where the bars never close. Elisabeth Shue is Sera the prostitute who's pimp, Julian Sands, is just letting her go (partly due to his paranoia and partly to protect her from the Russian mafia out to get him). Ben and Sera meet up and an unusual and close bond is formed between them. A bond that exists on one proviso, that Sear allows Ben to drink and Ben does not attack Sera's way of life.
Thinsg do not go completely to play. Suffice to say the ending is pretty tragic, however the acceptance and forgiveness that the odd couple display towards each up to that point is very touching.
In my last random review (Long days Journey into Night) nearly all of the cast had to display various levels of drunkeness and drug taking. Here Cage does not merely portray the effects of having a drink, but also the long term physiological changes. He sweats, vomits and shakes in almost every scene - his behaviour is erratic and uncontrolled and he shows huge swings in confidence and understanding of his situation. It's a masterful performance which rightly earned Cage the Best Actor Oscar.
Shue does not has the tics and traits of alcoholism to hide behind, yet in my mind she gives a superior performance. Deep in her eyes you can see her shifting perceptions of Ben, Yuri and her clients, and you can really understand when and why she asks Ben to see a doctor and the hurt she feels when he betrays her.
Figgis and cinematographer Declan Quinn do a fine job of the look and feel of the film, shooting in 16mm, generally with long takes and a moving camera. As a result the film has a spontaneous and documentary feel to it.
The main issue I would say that the film has is the misogynism apparent in the script, and it's something that reoccurs in most of Figgis's work. It is not enough that Sera is gang-raped, but it has to be an anal rape scene, and all of the supporting female roles are either sexual objects or shrews.
