Looking for a real man (Out this week - 23/09/11)

There's a scent of sweat in the air this week, an odour of testosterone floating from the man-packed cinemas, and frankly if you're not into gorgeous guys flexing their muscles or parading naked in the locker room then there may not be a choice for you this week, with even the counter programming choices seeming to accentuate heroism and grit. It's a tough competition for top choice, with a very high average score on the exciteometer (best since February) but in the end I'm plumping for Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton rippling in film of the week Warrior.



Warrior

It's underperformed in the States, I expect partly because of the image of Mixed Martial arts and the marketing not really knowing where to go but everything I hear about Gavin O'Connor's sports movie sounds great and with it's two protagonists on the cusp of becoming major stars this is probably the most exciting opportunity to see them let loose.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○



Drive

Ryan Gosling movie number 1 - The art-house thriller. Directed by edgy wunderkind Nicolas Winding Refn this is both an archetype and deconstruction of the 80's action pic with Gosling as a nameless driver becoming the hero in his warped story. Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks and (oddly) West Side Story's Russ Tamblyn co-star.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Ryan Gosling movie number 2 - The touching comedy. The best reviewed Steve Carell movie for years concerns parallels the marital crisis of it's lead with the equally complex love lives of his children. Carell and Gosling are joined by Julianne Moore, Marisa Tomei and Emma Stone.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○

Mademoiselle Chambon

Gallic romance between the homeschool teacher and parent that springs out of a natural closeness and shared hopes for the child in the middle. Showing it's French side is the unshocking revelation that the father's still married. That kids gonna need serious therapy.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Tucker & Dale vs Evil

Hilarious looking Sundance break-out that subverts the murderous hillbilly and innocent students cliches by simply placing the Louisiana heroes close to unspeakably unlucky accidents, each one making them appear more culpable to the partying teens.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Killer Elite

It may have the killer cast of Robert De Niro and Clive Owen but that's not enough to make this confused Jason Statham vehicle look any more bearable. Especially given the critical mauling it received at Toronto.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Soul Surfer

I'm not sure whether there's a market for overtly Christian movies here in the UK, we cinema goers tend to be a secular bunch, but if there is one then this true life story of a teenage surfer (AnnaSophia Robb) who's won't let her arm being bitten off by a shark stop her from becoming a surfing champion, thanks to her family support and faith, deserves to make the grade. Helen Hunt and Dennis Quaid co-star.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Yaara O Dildaara

Bollywood picture that will, according to it's ratehr grand tagline, reinstate your faith in true love. In Punjabi.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Mausam

Also looking to pull the same crowd is this Indian-British co-production that heavily features the Royal Air Force in it's publicity and romantic subplots, everyone loves a man in uniform.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Tapes

There always seems to be one homegrown horror that sneaks into British cinemas, and this week you have the opportunity to witness through found footage (yawn) a suspected swingers party turn out to be hiding a bunch of devil worshippers. Luckily this isn't showing in Manchester.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○