Jack's Back (Out this week - 20/05011)

I don't really want to do this. I want to be able to turn back, to pretend my life, or at least my movie tastes, were different. But I will inevitably return to this point, one of those horrendous occasions where a film I have hoped to see, one that I championed from it's early onset arrives with all the hallmarks of a dud. Should I attempt to rewrite history, pretend my initial reaction wasn't so positive? I cannot, I must remain honest, retain my integrity even at the expense of my dignity. The film of the week is Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.



Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Arriving like a rotting fish carcass brought in on the late tide the latest in the pirate franchise that keep Johnny Depp's children fed is here. Rob Marshall has replaced Gore Verbinski but no-one's changed the format. Of course I was salivating for this movie, number 6 in my 20 for 2011, but now I suspect it will be the film of the week choice I truly regret come the end of the year.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●○○○



Julia's Eyes

Spain is the new Japan insofar as horror movies go, as evidenced by this creepy picture where the heroine searches for her missing sister whilst her vision (literally and metaphorically) gets dimmer. Very good reviews, this is the film I probably should be choosing to represent the week.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Win Win

Tom McCarthy makes films about disengaged men finding meaning in their hitherto downbeat worldview, and in that respect the Paul Giamatti starrer looks no different from The Station Agent or The Visitor, not that it matters when he makes this sort of thing so well.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Blitz

The first of three low budget British films competing for the scraps at the box office this one stars Jason Statham and Paddy Considine as mismatched cops trying to takedown the mysterious and eponymous serial pig killer. Plenty of colourful vernacular is hinted at in the trailer but I expect the proper home for this is on DVD.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Bol

We're always so inundated with Bollywood movies it's easy to forget that neighbouring Pakistan has a thriving cinematic subculture, as evidenced by this internationally released dissection of the place of woman in modern Muslim culture and the responsibilities and challenges of parenthood.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Age of Heroes

Allegedly based on the true story behind Ian Flemming's World War II Commando unit and planned as the first in a new British spy trilogy. But I ignored all that once I found out it starred Sean Bean and RLAG fave Danny Dyer - he's no actor, but I get fantastically turned on by his diamond geezer persona and in time honoured fashion I've posted his pic (below) to celebrate one of his films being released.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

Third Star

The final UK release stars TV's "Sherlock Holmes" (Benedict Cumberbatch) as a man dying from cancer before his time and taking a last holiday to the Welsh coast with his pals. It probably doesn't do much to get past that rather dreary and predictable synopsis.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○



Before I go I ought to mention a couple of movies I managed to miss from way back on 06 May 2011.

Life, Above All

Rare South African movie that confronts the issues of undiagnosed HIV infections and child prostitution in a nation that has historically brushed these embarrassing problems under the carpet. Heartfelt and powerful.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○


Zombie Diaries 2

Awfully familiar sounding tale of undead hordes overrunning the last vestiges of human civilisation. But really, what's the point?

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○