Plunged in the Foaming Brine (Out this week - 04/03/11)

With ten releases battling for our £10 this weekend it's inevitable there will be a couple that I'd actually like to see - as well as a few that are probably massive stinkers. I imagine the Johnny Depp lizard film ill own the box office, and I'd probably also be interested in seeing the New Zealand offering, however Shakespeare wins out over all of them. The film of the week is The Tempest.



The Tempest

Helen Mirren takes centre stage as Prospera, gender switched from the original telling, in Julie Taymor's latest re-telling of the Bard. If it's anything like Titus it will be a wonder to behold.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●●●○○



The Adjustment Bureau

Matt Damon and Emily Blunt may fall in love at first sight but that isn't what fate, in the form of a shadowy bureaucracy run by Terence Stamp and Anthony Mackie, has in store for them in this Philip K. Dick adaptation.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●●○○○○

Insatiable Moon

Highly commended New Zealand movie about a Maori convinced he's the son of God who must woo the woman of his dreams and save his half-way house from being closed. A unique blend of social-realism and unlikely love story.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Rango

Comic animation in which Johnny Depp, as a holidaying chameleon, must face up to the cut-throats and rustlers threatening the town of Dirt. Expect plenty of Western tropes to get caught in the crossfire.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Ironclad

Brian Cox is the hell-raising noble who along with Knight Templar James Purefoy defies King John (Paul Giamatti in very odd casting) in this Manga Carta related siege movie partly based on a true story. Not that historical accuracy is that important when you have broadswords and trebuchets.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Patagonia

Part-travelogue, part-road movie this film divides into two halves about an Elderly Chilean Woman visiting Wales and a Welsh couple in the titular area of South America. Exploiting the unlikely shared heritage of the two regions (Welsh settlers really did travel to Patagonia to escape persecution in the 1840s).

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Unknown

Liam Neeson wakes up from a car crash unable to remember much about his old life, save that he's a doctor and married to January Jones. Unfortunately she denies it in this twisty Euro-thriller also starring Frank Langella.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●○○○○○○

Archipelago

Joanna Hogg's follow-up to 2008's Unreleated is another dissection of upper middle class Brits on holiday slowly unravelling their insecurities and petty prejudices. Fascinating, but probably not worth a cinema ticket.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

As if I'm not there

A harsh dose of cinematic realism about the Bosnian War of the 1990s. Juanita Wilson's drama is taken from true stories revealed during the International Criminal Tribunal in The Hague.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Age of the Dragons

I get the feeling it's going to be a classic year for bad movies. This appalling looking dreck is a rehash of Melville's Moby Dick set in a world populated by dragons. Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones headline, which gives you an idea of the quality.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●○○○○○○○○○

And, naturally, there's a Bollywood release from last week that I missed out on.

Tannu weds Mannu

The Clue's in the title of this release from the sub-continent. Newlyweds from an arranged marriage are completely unsuited for each other, so of coursethey'll be head over heels by the final curtain.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○