Saturday, 26 March 2011

Trade descriptions act (Out this week - 25/03/11)

It's not really a week for going to the cinema. Ultimately there's little to entice anyone to the local multiplex, plus the weather taken a turn for Spring and there are Football, Cricket and Grand Prix on all weekend so I doubt attendance will be high. That said I'm already watched Channing Tatum in a thong and summer box office taster Limitless is my film of the week.


Bradley Cooper (in a desperate attempt to prove himself as a leading man) takes a pill that utilises the 80% of his brain that he rarely uses. As a result he finds himself indebted to Robert De Niro. It's probably derivative, but it's getting positive reviews for this sort of thing and squeezed into the top of the US box office last week.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Country Strong

One of the major reasons why Gwynneth Paltrow now thinks she can have a music career is the positive reaction to this country singer redemption movie - apparently she's forgotten the critics just like this kind of movie but they don't buy records. By the way does anyone think she actually looks like an alcoholic in the trailer?

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Turtle's Tale: Sammy's Adventure

Belgian animation with country specific voice work (here in the UK we get John Hurt and Gemma Arterton, in the US you get Melanie Griffiths) that shows the destruction of the natural world over 60 years through the eyes of a well-travelled turtle. Doesn't sound stretching but the animation looks fine.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●●●○○○○○

Christian Brothers

First Bollywood movie in a few weeks, so it should get some punters in. It's a action comedy about a Christian patriarch who's sons are a continual disappointment.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

The Eagle

Kevin MacDonald's adaptation of the Rosemary Sutcliffe swords and sandals novel makes it to the screens after a 8 month delay (partly due to Neil Marshall's similarly themed Centurion). Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell bond during a trip to Scotland.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson clearly wants a bit of Fast and Furious action with a 70's vibe in this revenge thriller. Somehow he persuades Billy Bob Thornton and Tom Berenger along for the ride, but ultimately this will probably miss it's marks.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Irish drama about a recovered addict who's past comes back to haunt her in horrific and violent ways. An interesting concept that looks like it panders to genre conventions in the end.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Coming of Age, and coming out, story starring Freddie Highmore as a teen growing up in 1960's West Midlands. Oddly this was a TV movie (shown over Christmas) that's now getting a cinematic release, probably because Helena Bonham Carter plays his brassy step mother.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

Wake Wood

The latest horror movie from the revamped Hammer studios takes the winning formulas of The Wicker Man and Don't Look Now, mashes they're central plots and obviously comes up with something that fails to stand up to it's influences.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○


Brutal Western influenced by Leone, Eastwood and "Deadwood" with plenty of violence but little moral code. Populated by unknown actors doing they're best to justify your ticket price.

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●○○○○○○○○

And missed from last weeks rundown:

Between the Canals

Dublin set crime thriller that takes it's ideas from the East End gangster pics popularised by Guy Ritchie and transfers them to the banks of the Liffey (and other local waterways).

Runs like a Gay Excitometer: ●●●○○○○○○○

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